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Orange County Marriage Therapy

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Anxiety

The Truth About Your “Broken” Self: It’s Just Nervous System Overload

May 15, 2025 by Todd Creager Leave a Comment

You might be feeling that your broken but the truth is your nervous system is overloaded.

Have you ever wondered why you freeze up during arguments or feel emotionally flooded when your partner criticizes you?

The truth is, you’re not broken – your nervous system is overloaded. As a relationship therapist, I want to help you understand what’s really happening in your body and mind during these challenging moments.

Here’s what you’ll learn in this important discussion:

Understanding Your Nervous System Response

When your nervous system is overloaded, it triggers automatic responses that aren’t conscious choices.

Through the vagus nerve, which extends from your brain to your intestines, your body responds to perceived threats in ways that can feel overwhelming.

Learning about these natural protective mechanisms helps you stop blaming yourself for these reactions.

The Three Ways We React to Stress

Your body has three main ways of dealing with threatening situations:

– Freezing: Like a deer in headlights, you might shut down completely

– Fighting/Fleeing: Your sympathetic nervous system activates, leading to emotional explosions or running away

– Social Engagement: The healthy response where you can stay present and work things out with your partner

In the full video below, I share in detail a powerful example of a 40-year-old teacher who couldn’t speak to adults due to childhood trauma.

Through EMDR therapy and understanding his overloaded nervous system, he found freedom from this pattern.

These stories share how lasting change is possible when we address the root causes.

Practical Steps for Change

Your nervous system can learn new ways of responding. I explain concrete techniques for:

– Building healthy communication patterns with your partner

– Recognizing when your nervous system is overloaded

– Learning to co-regulate with your partner instead of freezing or fighting

– Using professional help when needed to heal deeper trauma

Here’s Why Should Matter to You:

Understanding that your nervous system is overloaded rather than “broken” opens the door to real healing.

When you stop judging yourself and start working with your body’s natural responses, you can create lasting positive changes in your relationships.

Ready to learn more about how your overloaded nervous system affects your relationships and what you can do about it?

Watch the full video below for deeper insights and practical tools to help you create healthier relationship patterns.

Don’t let an overloaded nervous system keep controlling your relationships. 

What if your next argument could bring you closer instead of driving you apart?


Learn how in Todd Creager’s Loving & Connecting Masterclass.
Lifetime access. Real results.

Say Yes to a Better Relationship

Filed Under: Anxiety, Blog, Communication Tips & Advice, Depression, Divorce Proof Your Marriage, Family Relationships Tips & Advice

Love as a Healing Force for Trauma

April 3, 2025 by Todd Creager Leave a Comment

Have you ever wondered how love can help heal trauma and deep emotional wounds?

As a therapist who has worked with countless individuals dealing with trauma, I’ve seen firsthand how love as a healing force for trauma can create profound changes in people’s lives.

Let me share with you how love is a healing force for trauma and why it  matters so much.

When we talk about trauma, we’re dealing with experiences that are too overwhelming for our minds and bodies to process naturally.

These experiences can leave lasting scars, but I’ve discovered that love has an extraordinary power to heal these wounds. Let me explain how love becomes a healing force for trauma through several key ways:

The Power of Loving Presence

– Studies show that people who receive loving support during or immediately after traumatic events are less likely to develop PTSD

– Having someone who pays attention with care creates a safe space for healing

– Love provides the foundation needed to process and move through trauma

Understanding Trauma Through Love’s Lens

– Trauma often occurs when we’re alone without support

– The absence of love can create trauma, while its presence can prevent it

– Love means seeing someone as valuable and taking their wellbeing seriously

Therapeutic Approaches Enhanced by Love

– EMDR and Internal Family Systems work because they incorporate loving awareness

– The therapeutic relationship itself becomes a healing force through loving attention

– Self-love is crucial for healing from trauma, especially in relationships

When working with trauma survivors, I’ve seen that love manifests as paying attention with genuine care.

This isn’t just about saying “I love you” – it’s about showing up consistently, dropping our agenda, and meeting people where they hurt.

Whether dealing with childhood trauma, relationship issues, or loss, love provides the foundation for healing.

Partner love, self-love, and therapeutic love all play crucial roles in healing trauma.

When we approach trauma with love as our guide, we create the conditions necessary for true healing to occur.

Love becomes the force that helps us process pain, rebuild trust, and find our way back to wholeness.

The most powerful thing about using love as a healing force for trauma is that it’s accessible to everyone.

You don’t need special training to offer loving presence to someone who’s hurting.

By simply being there with care and attention, you become part of their healing journey.

Ready to learn more about how love can heal trauma?

Watch the video below where I dive deeper into this powerful healing approach.

You’ll discover practical ways to use love as a healing force in your own life or to support others dealing with trauma.

Watch the video now to understand how love can heal trauma.

Revitalize Your Life: Instant Access to Your Trauma Healing Blueprint

Access the Essential Steps You Need to Move Beyond Trauma and Reclaim Joy in Your Life

Trauma Guide Opt In Image Website

Filed Under: Anxiety, Blog, Marriage Tips & Advice, Trauma

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