Expert Sex, Passion & Intimacy Therapist in Orange County.
Helping couples overcome crisis, rebuild connection, and create relationships that actually thrive.
Years in Practice
Infidelity Success Rate
books Published
If you’re reading this, you’re probably in pain. Maybe it’s infidelity. Maybe it’s years of disconnection. Maybe it’s the same fight over and over with no resolution. You’ve tried to fix it yourself. You’ve read the books. You’ve had the talks. And you’re still stuck.
I get it. In 35 years of practice, I’ve sat with thousands of couples in exactly that place — the place where hope is running out but you’re not ready to give up. Here’s what I’ve learned: the problem usually isn’t what you think it is.
Most couples focus on surface issues — communication, scheduling date nights, trying harder to be nice. And while those things matter, they’re not the foundation. The real work happens deeper. It happens at the developmental and attachment level — the patterns you learned in childhood about how love works, whether you’re safe, and whether you matter.
That’s where I work.
I didn’t start out planning to specialize in crisis. I graduated from USC’s School of Social Work in 1982, completed intensive training through UCLA’s Extension Program in Human Sexuality, and opened my practice thinking I’d work with a broad range of relationship issues.
But over the years, I noticed a pattern: the couples who came to me after infidelity — the ones everyone assumed were done — many of them not only survived, they built something stronger than what they’d had before. I started tracking my results. The number was shocking: 90% of couples I worked with after infidelity not only stayed together, they reported feeling more connected than they had in years.
That changed everything. I realized that infidelity, as devastating as it is, can be a catalyst. It cracks open the relationship’s foundation and forces both partners to look at what’s really been happening underneath the surface. If you’re willing to go deep — really deep, into the developmental wounds and attachment patterns that created the conditions for betrayal — you can rebuild on solid ground.
So I developed a framework for that. I call it the Inside-Out Healing Method. It’s a seven-step process that works with both partners individually and as a couple, addressing not just the betrayal but the deeper patterns that allowed it to happen. It integrates Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, EMDR, attachment theory, and neuroscience-backed techniques. And it works.
Here’s what 35 years of sitting with couples in crisis has taught me:
Infidelity doesn’t have to end your relationship. What if you could use this crisis as a catalyst for creating an even stronger, more authentic connection than you had before? I’ve seen it happen hundreds of times. The 90% success rate isn’t an accident.
Understanding concepts is not enough. You need to have a felt experience of change. Most therapy stays in your head. My approach is experiential — you don’t just talk about patterns, you actually interrupt them in real time and practice new ways of being together.
Passionate sex and long-term relationships go together. This is the core thesis of my book The Long Hot Marriage — and it’s what I’ve lived in my own marriage. Passion doesn’t die because time passes. It dies because couples stop doing the work that keeps desire alive. You can get it back.
Marriage is a 200 percent commitment. Both partners need to be committed 100 percent. Not 50-50. Both all-in. When you’re both willing to own your part and do the deeper work, transformation happens fast.
"Todd Creager does a wonderful job at showing you how to develop the emotional muscle and skills to overcome the challenges."
— John Gray, author of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus
I’m trained in multiple therapeutic modalities and bring all of them to my work with couples:
I integrate Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy — a cutting-edge approach developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz that works with the different “parts” of each person (exiles, managers, firefighters) and helps the Self lead. I combine this with EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) to process traumatic memories, including infidelity trauma. This combination is unusual and powerful, especially for couples dealing with betrayal.
I’ve been featured on the Oprah Winfrey Network Infidelity Show, interviewed on Playboy Radio, and regularly contribute to Your Tango and Dating Advice. I’m a keynote speaker who’s presented at hundreds of venues across Southern California.
I see clients one-on-one and as couples, both in my Huntington Beach office and via Zoom. Sessions are experiential — we don’t just talk about what’s broken, we practice new patterns in real time. I use techniques like “Playing Catch” (my signature communication metaphor), the S.T.O.P. Technique for de-escalating conflict, and IFS parts work to help you understand what’s driving your reactions.
I also teach other therapists. As an adjunct lecturer at USC School of Social Work, I train graduate students in three courses: The Art of Practice with Individuals, The Art of Practice with Families and Groups, and Mental Health and Human Development. What I teach them is what I practice with you.
While I still see clients directly, I’ve also created self-guided programs so my methods can help people anywhere. Whether you’re across the country, on a budget, or just want to start working on your relationship tonight, my online programs give you access to the same frameworks I use in my practice:
You don’t need to choose between programs and therapy. Many of my clients start with a program, then come work with me directly when they’re ready for deeper support.
I’m the author of four books, including two Amazon bestsellers:
I also host the podcast Let’s Talk About Love, Sex & Infidelity on Spotify, where I talk openly with married and long-term couples who want real answers.
I'm an extrovert who loves people, connection, and meaningful conversation. Outside the office, you'll find me meditating, practicing yoga, working out, hiking, or playing pickleball and basketball. I'm married and have what I describe as a happy, satisfying, sexy marriage — which means I practice what I teach. I know firsthand that long-term relationships and passionate connection can absolutely coexist.
Whether you want to work with me one-on-one or start with a self-guided program, I'm here to help. You don't have to stay stuck.