Infidelity is an Interpersonal Crime!

Infidelity is an Interpersonal Crime!

By | Commitment, Communication, Infidelity, Intimacy, Love, Marital Advice, Marital Problems, Marriage Advice, Marriage Problems, Relationships, Sex, Toxic Relationships | 3 Comments

One of the more common things I do is help couples who have experienced infidelity survive and even thrive.  As I have said before, the great majority of these couples are successful in treatment.  However, I am clear on one thing- cheating and all the secrecy and deception that goes with it steals from the betrayed partner.  It steals a very important right- the right to have information in order to make a good decision.  You cannot make a good…

Read More
Communicating Your Kink With Your Partner

Communicating Your Kink With Your Partner

By | Commitment, Communication, Intimacy, Marriage Advice, Passion, Relationships, Romance, Sex, Successful Marriages | No Comments

Intimate partners often have unspoken rules of what can be expressed and what cannot be expressed. As author of the book, The Long Hot Marriage, I am passionate about helping long-term couples have alive and passionate relationships. One way to do that is to use the committed relationship to explore your “less conventional” sides of yourself, particularly your unconventional sexual desires. I am so thankful that this society is showing signs of opening up sexually and not being so quick…

Read More
Problems with Low Sexual Desire

Problems with Low Sexual Desire

By | Long Hot Marriage, Low sexual desire, Marital Advice, Marital Problems, Marriage Advice, Relationships, Romance, Sex | No Comments

I have helped many people who have had less libido than they or their partner wanted. My video coming out later this month will discuss this in more detail. I will also be writing an article that goes into relationship dynamics that contribute to sexual desire issues in more detail. There can be a variety of factors that can cause someone to have less sexual interest including: 1) Hormonal influences 2) Medication Side Effects 3) Childhood or adult trauma especially…

Read More
Hot Monogamy- 3 Surefire Ways to Spark Your Relationship

Hot Monogamy – 3 Surefire Ways to Spark Your Relationship

By | Commitment, Creating More Passion in Marriage, Family Relationships, Great Sex, Long Hot Marriage, Marital Advice, Marriage Advice, Passion, Relationships, Romance, Sexy | No Comments

When I wrote my book, “The Long Hot Marriage,” my brother exclaimed- “Oh, you wrote a fairy tale!”  It was a funny line but let me tell you something- The Long Hot Marriage is no fairy tale!  Hot monogamy is a reality and here are 3 ways to make sure you experience this wonderful gift of a long, passionate relationship: 1)   Dare to leave your comfort zone often.  Your ancestors basically did not do this with their partners.  Take a…

Read More
3 Ways Practicing Kindness Leads to Better Sex

3 Ways Practicing Kindness Leads to Better Sex

By | Commitment, Great Sex, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage, Love, Marital Advice, Marriage Advice, Passion, Relationships, Romance | No Comments

When you read the word “kind”, what sensations or feelings come up for you?  For me, there is a softening of my muscles, and ease in my body.  There is a slowing down of some sort.  For some people in our lives, it may be easy to practice kindness but unfortunately, it is often most difficult with our long-term partner.  It is easy to have automatic resentment or focus on where our partner is NOT meeting our needs.  Or we…

Read More
3 Daily Rituals that will Keep the Passion in Your Marriage

3 Daily Rituals that will Keep the Passion in Your Marriage

By | Committment, Communication, Creating More Passion in Marriage, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage, Love, Marriage, Marriage Advice, Passion, Relationships, Romance | No Comments

Weddings, Bar and Bat Mitzvahs and funerals are rituals that make us slow down and have deeper, more profound life experiences. These rituals help us celebrate the good times and deal and heal from the bad times.  In marriage, we also need rituals to deal with the good and bad times and these rituals will keep as well as increase the passion and aliveness in your intimate relationship.  The rituals I am about to discuss are best done on a…

Read More
The # 1 Way To Prevent Infidelity

The # 1 Way To Prevent Infidelity

By | Committment, Infidelity, Intimacy, Love, Marital Advice, Marital Problems, Marriage Advice, Marriage Problems | No Comments

I have written and talked much about the many factors that can contribute to infidelity.  However, there is one way to prevent infidelity that trumps all others.  OPEN AND COURAGEOUS COMMUNICATION.    The biggest problem with interpersonal relationships is that we suppress, hold back and hide our feelings, preferences and desires that we think may provoke the other person or “get us in trouble.”   By observing my clients, I have discovered that conflict avoidance is one of the more common antecedents…

Read More
Why There is So Much Infidelity?

Why There is So Much Infidelity?

By | Committment, Infidelity, Intimacy, Love advice, Marital Advice, Marital Problems, Marriage Advice, Marriage Problems, Relationships, Romance | No Comments

Infidelity is very common and a good portion of my practice consists of people coming to see me after discovering there has been an extramarital relationship.  The question is why?  I am going to give my best partial answer, partial because it is such a big question and I as well as other experts in the field can write volumes on this question.  However, for the purpose of this brief writing, I will list these 5 IMPORTANT reasons: 1)   It…

Read More

5 Ways Cheating Cheats the Cheater

By | Committment, Communication, Infidelity, Intimacy, Marriage Advice, Relationships | No Comments

You might be surprised to hear it but the betrayed partner isn’t the only person who is hurt by infidelity. The cheater is actually in a lot of pain too. I’ve seen this over and over again in my practice helping hundreds of couples dealing with the aftermath of infidelity. The partner who cheats is likely suffering from both guilt and low esteem. Watch this short video where I talk about 5 most common ways  cheating robs the cheater of…

Read More
How to Be Romantic Even When Your Partner is Driving You Crazy

How to Be Romantic Even When Your Partner is Driving You Crazy

By | Committment, Love advice, Marriage Advice, Passion, Relationships, Romance | No Comments

So I saw a couple today and the husband was complaining about their lack of compatibility and their constant friction.  I pointed out that most healthy relationships are full of friction and many of those relationships are comprised of partners who have very different tastes, preferences, parenting styles, etc.  He complained that she was driving him crazy with all the things that she was doing.  I knew intuitively that if he was able to find a way to like her;…

Read More