Importance of Playfulness in Your Relationships

By | Commitment, Communication, Creating More Passion in Marriage, Great Sex, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage, Love, Marital Advice, Marriage Advice, Passion, Relationships, Romance, Sex, Sexy Marriage | No Comments

I want to talk to you about the importance of being playful in your intimate relationships Remember back when you began your courtship?  I’ll bet you were more playful, romantic and maybe a bit silly…am I right? Then you became committed and maybe got married, bought a house and/or had kids…right? At some point you became functional and lost the element of surprise and delight in your relationship. We all need to get back the playfulness in our relationships.  In…

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Case Study: How EMDR Healed Childhood Trauma

By | EMDR, Healing from Sexual Trauma, Infidelity, Marriage Advice, Marriage Problems | No Comments

Trauma of any nature is a very touchy subject and not one that many therapists speak publicly about. In this short video I am sharing with you how EMDR healed childhood trauma and gave this couple needed help to repair their relationship. It's a big issue according to the Journal of Traumatic Stress.  According to a study in North Carolina 68% of children and adolescents experienced at least one potentially traumatic event by the age of 16.  So I feel...

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Five Keys to Restoring Trust After Infidelity

Five Keys to Restoring Trust After Infidelity

By | Commitment, Communication, Infidelity, Marital Advice, Marriage Advice, Relationships, Sex | No Comments

1)   Get therapy with a reputable expert in infidelity and discover the factors (not excuses) that led to the affair so that alternative healthier solutions can be practiced. 2)   Look for behavioral change  (depending on whatever was discovered as to what was behind the secretive actions) in the relationship that lets you know that something different is truly happening and that there is reason to take a chance on your partner again. 3)   Whenever there is a “risky” situation such as…

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Infidelity is an Interpersonal Crime!

Infidelity is an Interpersonal Crime!

By | Commitment, Communication, Infidelity, Intimacy, Love, Marital Advice, Marital Problems, Marriage Advice, Marriage Problems, Relationships, Sex, Toxic Relationships | 3 Comments

One of the more common things I do is help couples who have experienced infidelity survive and even thrive.  As I have said before, the great majority of these couples are successful in treatment.  However, I am clear on one thing- cheating and all the secrecy and deception that goes with it steals from the betrayed partner.  It steals a very important right- the right to have information in order to make a good decision.  You cannot make a good…

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Communicating Your Kink With Your Partner

Communicating Your Kink With Your Partner

By | Commitment, Communication, Intimacy, Marriage Advice, Passion, Relationships, Romance, Sex, Successful Marriages | No Comments

Intimate partners often have unspoken rules of what can be expressed and what cannot be expressed. As author of the book, The Long Hot Marriage, I am passionate about helping long-term couples have alive and passionate relationships. One way to do that is to use the committed relationship to explore your “less conventional” sides of yourself, particularly your unconventional sexual desires. I am so thankful that this society is showing signs of opening up sexually and not being so quick…

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Problems with Low Sexual Desire

Problems with Low Sexual Desire

By | Long Hot Marriage, Low sexual desire, Marital Advice, Marital Problems, Marriage Advice, Relationships, Romance, Sex | No Comments

I have helped many people who have had less libido than they or their partner wanted. My video coming out later this month will discuss this in more detail. I will also be writing an article that goes into relationship dynamics that contribute to sexual desire issues in more detail. There can be a variety of factors that can cause someone to have less sexual interest including: 1) Hormonal influences 2) Medication Side Effects 3) Childhood or adult trauma especially…

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Hot Monogamy- 3 Surefire Ways to Spark Your Relationship

Hot Monogamy – 3 Surefire Ways to Spark Your Relationship

By | Commitment, Creating More Passion in Marriage, Family Relationships, Great Sex, Long Hot Marriage, Marital Advice, Marriage Advice, Passion, Relationships, Romance, Sexy | No Comments

When I wrote my book, “The Long Hot Marriage,” my brother exclaimed- “Oh, you wrote a fairy tale!”  It was a funny line but let me tell you something- The Long Hot Marriage is no fairy tale!  Hot monogamy is a reality and here are 3 ways to make sure you experience this wonderful gift of a long, passionate relationship: 1)   Dare to leave your comfort zone often.  Your ancestors basically did not do this with their partners.  Take a…

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3 Ways Practicing Kindness Leads to Better Sex

3 Ways Practicing Kindness Leads to Better Sex

By | Commitment, Great Sex, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage, Love, Marital Advice, Marriage Advice, Passion, Relationships, Romance | No Comments

When you read the word “kind”, what sensations or feelings come up for you?  For me, there is a softening of my muscles, and ease in my body.  There is a slowing down of some sort.  For some people in our lives, it may be easy to practice kindness but unfortunately, it is often most difficult with our long-term partner.  It is easy to have automatic resentment or focus on where our partner is NOT meeting our needs.  Or we…

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3 Daily Rituals that will Keep the Passion in Your Marriage

3 Daily Rituals that will Keep the Passion in Your Marriage

By | Committment, Communication, Creating More Passion in Marriage, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage, Love, Marriage, Marriage Advice, Passion, Relationships, Romance | No Comments

Weddings, Bar and Bat Mitzvahs and funerals are rituals that make us slow down and have deeper, more profound life experiences. These rituals help us celebrate the good times and deal and heal from the bad times.  In marriage, we also need rituals to deal with the good and bad times and these rituals will keep as well as increase the passion and aliveness in your intimate relationship.  The rituals I am about to discuss are best done on a…

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The # 1 Way To Prevent Infidelity

The # 1 Way To Prevent Infidelity

By | Committment, Infidelity, Intimacy, Love, Marital Advice, Marital Problems, Marriage Advice, Marriage Problems | No Comments

I have written and talked much about the many factors that can contribute to infidelity.  However, there is one way to prevent infidelity that trumps all others.  OPEN AND COURAGEOUS COMMUNICATION.    The biggest problem with interpersonal relationships is that we suppress, hold back and hide our feelings, preferences and desires that we think may provoke the other person or “get us in trouble.”   By observing my clients, I have discovered that conflict avoidance is one of the more common antecedents…

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