Sex Addiction or High Libido_What is the Difference

Sex Addiction or High Libido: What is the Difference?

By | Infidelity, Libido, Sex, Sex Drive, Sexual Addiction, Sexual Dysfunction | No Comments

I am going to get a little personal here. I like sex; I may be under some illusion but after being married for almost 33 years, my sexual response is about the same as when I was far younger. I like that I like sex and I could say that my wife likes that I like sex as well. One of my main areas of clinical expertise is helping people with low sexual desire, and I have had both men…

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Five Possible Causes of Sexual Addiction

Five Possible Causes of Sexual Addiction

By | Molestation, Pornography, Sexual abuse, Sexual Addiction, Sexual Trauma | No Comments

As with many other “diagnoses,” there can be multiple factors that could lead to someone being sexually addicted.  Here are five possible causes that I have observed in my clinical work: 1)   These was early sexual, emotional or physical trauma in the addicted person’s early life.  Victims of trauma adapt psychologically and neurobiologically to trauma in ways that help the person cope with the overwhelming feelings of trauma but can lead to maladaptive behaviors.  In other words, in the service…

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Why Self Care Is The Number One Thing You Must Do

By | Mind/Body Health, Success Advice, Successful Marriages, Videos | No Comments

If you want to be successful in your life and your relationship(s), then you MUST practice self care. I see a lack of self care as a major factor that is destroying our bodies and our relationships!  Watch this short video where I give my best tips for practicing self care. I want you to pick one thing that I suggest in this video, try it out and let me know how it goes! So tell me what's going to...

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3 Words More Important than I Love You

3 Words More Important than I Love You

By | Communication, Intimacy, Marriage, Marriage Advice, Marriage Problems | 2 Comments

“I love you.”  What could be better than that?  Saying a heartfelt “I love you,” to your intimate partner can bring you both closer and evoke feelings such as warmth and compassion.  However, many people say those three words, and many relationships are still in a heap of trouble.  I have three words for you that if practiced regularly and genuinely will truly transform your relationship and may just be the most direct route to a loving relationship. Communication is…

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Diffuse Conflict Quickly

By | Communication | No Comments

A Powerful Tool to Go From Conflict to Peace I want to discuss with you one of the most powerful tools I know that can de-escalate conflict. This tool can be used with your intimate partner as well as in any relationship. It is particularly useful at this time of the year when underlying conflicts seem to come to the surface. (I am already seeing it in the phone calls I am getting since last week and continuing this week)….

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How to communicate your way to a stellar relationship

How to communicate your way to a STELLAR relationship

By | Communication, Healthy Marriage, Intimacy, Listening Skills | No Comments

Healthy communication is the #1 most important thing you must have in your relationship Fortunately, it's something that can be easily learned and applied to your relationship. Here are my top 3 tips that will help you to communicate your way to a stellar relationship or marriage, and increase your connection and understanding of your partner. Here's what I cover in this video Tip#1:  Drop Your Agenda Why its good for both your relationship and your health... Tip #2:  Feel...

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Do This First Before You Begin To Communicate

Do This First Before You Begin To Communicate

By | Communication, Conflict Resolution, Listening Skills, Marital Advice, Marriage, Marriage Advice, Relationships | No Comments

A Must Read To Improve Your Communication Skills Would you like to be a more effective communicator?  Would you like your intimate partner to listen to you more?   How about having better results at a networking meeting?  There is one thing you can do which will make all the difference in the world in what you bring out of the other person.  Before I spell it out, let me say that neurobiologists talk about right brain to right brain communication….

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5 Signs that a Betrayed Person can Trust the Partner Again

5 Signs that a Betrayed Person can Trust the Partner Again

By | Cheating, Commitment, Communication, Infidelity, Intimacy, Marital Problems, Marriage, Toxic Relationships | No Comments

Your partner cheated on you.  You discovered the affair.  You both have been working on the relationship and trying to heal.  However, you have been hurt in one of the most painful ways possible and it is difficult to let your guard down.  “What if he or she does it again?  Then I will REALLY feel like a fool!”   It makes sense to hold back trust.  It makes sense to be protective.  However, if that continues for a long time,…

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Alternatives to Infidelity - Healthy Ways to Regulate Your Emotions

Alternatives to Infidelity – Healthy Ways to Regulate Your Emotions

By | Commitment, Communication, Infidelity, Intimacy, Relationships | No Comments

In my last blog, I talked about another way to think about infidelity- Infidelity is a way to regulate our emotions.  Down regulating consists of managing hyperarousal, stress and anxiety. Up-regulating consists of arousing or enlivening ourselves when we feel bored or empty.  I would recommend reading that article before continuing to read this one if you have not read it already.  I am not saying that if you do what I write below- infidelity issues will cease; it is…

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Why People Cheat- Another Look at Infidelity

Why People Cheat- Another Look at Infidelity

By | Commitment, Communication, Family Relationships, Infidelity, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage | No Comments

As a professor and psychotherapist, I have learned some things about early childhood development.  Infants and young children do not have the brain apparatus to regulate their emotions so they utilize their caretaker’s brains basically to do the regulation.  For example, the attuned mother can calm an anxious baby with touch or food or changing a wet diaper.  This is called down-regulation meaning that the mother in these examples helps the child go from a more stressed, inflamed state to…

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