Money is an issue for all couples whether it is talked about or not. 

The way couples deal with money often is indicative of some of the overall dynamics in the relationship. 

For example, if a partner seems to control all the money, this is not just about money.  This could hint at some possible relationships dynamics and issues such as trust (or the lack of), over-responsibility vs. under-responsibility, overall generosity of spirit vs. self absorption and other possible dynamics that go on between a couple.  I will be writing an article on my blog that goes into more detail about money.

7 tips on how to handle money in such a way that your relationship can thrive. 

These words come from my experience with thousands of couples:

1.  Communicate about your money wishes and concerns.  For example, let your partner know how you want each person to have access to the money and how it should be spent.

2.  Have a joint account for vacations and leisure that you both could deposit money into but communicate and negotiate if you want to take money out (especially if it is a major purchase)

3.  Decide on the amount that constitutes a major purchase which means you would not act unilaterally on a purchase.  (that includes furniture, appliances, etc.)

4.  If you want to spend on a major purchase, DO NOT do it secretly to avoid a “no” or a confrontation with your partner.  This is betrayal just like infidelity.  Be an adult, face the music, communicate and if necessary, negotiate.

5.  If one partner is mainly responsible for managing the finances, the other needs to be involved as well, even if it just in knowing the system the “Managing” partner is using.  It is not a good idea anymore for one person to know everything and the other know nothing about the finances.

6.  Be aware of the way money was or was not dealt with in your family of origin and understand the same of your partner.  Then find YOUR way that works best for both parties.

7.  Seek to understand your partner’s relationship to money and what it means to him or her.  (We are not the same here and I will talk about that in the next week’s Todd’s Thursday’s Thought.

Here’s to getting the love you want!