I was planning on writing my blog article this week on this very Sunday afternoon.

This morning, I was leading a group hike and was in a state of bliss as I usually am when I am hiking. Towards the end of the hike, my daughter called and I answered the phone. She told me the news Kobe Bryant had died in a helicopter crash.

I quickly went from a state of bliss to shock to heartbroken.  Of course, I am not the only person by far who had a similar reaction. But since these feelings are so raw inside of me, I decided to write about him and why it has affected me so deeply. I will start with the sports part of it and then get to some deeper reasons why I am so deeply affected (seven in all).

First of all, I am a Laker fanatic. 

I love my USC Trojans, the Los Angeles Dodgers AND Angels, the Los Angeles Rams and even my childhood teams, the New York Mets and Jets.  But it is the Lakers that I have had my deepest love for. It is amazing how one can develop such feelings for a local team.

It seems a little silly but it is most definitely true for me. 

I will never forget the Showtime era with Magic, Kareem, James Worthy, etc. They gave me years of pleasure watching their acrobatic athleticism and teamwork. Then along came Kobe- young and confident.  He teamed up with Shaq and later Pau Gasol to give the Lakers 5 more championships. And, currently, I am enjoying the 2019-2020 team as well.

However, there was something about Kobe. It was his amazing athletic skill and his courage and willingness to take the shot in “crunch time.” 

His will to win was above and beyond anything I had seen.

Secondly, there was his discipline. 

He was an amazing basketball player and very gifted but it was not only about that.  He put in the time; he practiced; he improved his craft. He was willing to get to the gym and take care of his body and he dedicated himself to have the best physical health he can have so that he can be at his best on the court. 

His work ethic was (as many players and coaches have said) beyond anything we have seen as well.

I admired that work ethic and understood that if you want success, you need to so the work. I believe that others have been inspired by him and created their own healthy work ethic.

Third, he went through a challenging time in 2002. 

He was accused of sexual assault and even though this was not proven (he stated that he had a very different perception and perceived this extra-marital sexual liason as consensual), it was a black mark on his life and reputation.  I followed this story very closely.

As much as I was a big fan, I also was and of course still am very committed to women’s rights, the importance of mutual consent in sexuality and understand the trauma caused when people are victims of sexual violation.

An important part of my work is treating victims of sexual violation. 

We have seen how increasingly harsh the penalties for athletes have become (thankfully), when this occurs. I want to believe it was consensual because I was such a Kobe fan.

I will never know for sure.

Kobe Bryant admitted to this infidelity. He seems to have learned from this time in his life. He faced much public judgment and humiliation but by all appearances seems to have become a better version of himself since then.  (Again, at least it is what I have seen, heard and assumed).

Through the years, Kobe learned to carry himself with more maturity and demonstrated his commitment to his wife and children.

As my readers know, I work often with couples who are attempting to heal from infidelity.

I have seen couples in my office become much better versions of themselves due to this crisis. As I have said before, infidelity is not a good thing; it is a hurtful thing.  But like the couples who successful healed from infidelity in my private practice, Kobe and his wife, Vanessa appeared to have healed and grown from their experience as well.

I was happy for him as he seemed to make better choices. I felt proud of him for his growth as a person.

Fourth, many of us have seen Kobe Bryant’s devotion to his children. 

Kobe retired from basketball for two main reasons- his injuries but also just as important- his wish to spend more time with his wife and children.  His passion for his family was exemplified by being a coach for his daughter, Gianna’s basketball team; his helicopter that crashed was taking Kobe, his daughter and other fellow teammates and parents to a basketball tournament where he was going to be coaching.

Fifth, Kobe Bryant has demonstrated his strong passion for helping others. 

Kobe was grateful for the resources he had in his life and then would use his resources to help others.  It was not just money but it was his time. He loved to inspire children. Some of his post basketball career pursuits were dedicated to just that.

Sixth, I admired Kobe Bryant’s creative spirit. 

He continued to challenge himself creatively to contribute in his own way.  I am paraphrasing but I love when he said that basketball was a phase of his life and now he is enthusiastically ready for his next phase.  I loved his commitment to greatness, creativity and being all that you can be.

Kobe Bryant seemed to be developing into a middle aged man that was far more than one of the best basketball players of all time.  He has been an inspiration personally to me as I continue to stretch and be creative and self- expressive as he has done.

The seventh reason I am so affected by Kobe Bryant’s death is that I feel for his family. 

Vanessa has to deal with the loss of her husband and one of her daughters.  There was so much more potential for Kobe to give to his family and others and who knows how far his daughter, Gianna, could have gone in her life.  The loss of life for these two as well as all the victims of that helicopter crash feels so overwhelmingly sad for me.

We all go on. 

We all have things to do and great things to accomplish and a variety of ways to contribute.  Despite my sadness, I use these tragedies to help me remember the value of life; of this day; of this minute. 

As a matter of fact, I am going to give my wife some love as soon as I am done with this article.

Life is precious and so are you.