Ways to Increase Emotional Intensity With Your Partner

(I am speaking more to males but this applies to females almost as much)

 

1)      Look deeply into your partner’s eyes and perceive her (or him) as someone who can truly benefit from receiving your love.

2)      Ask your partner to express some difficult-to-express pain with the intention of relaxing your own body so that you just receive her pain without closing up.  (Tough one especially for men but a necessary step to increase intensity to revive a marriage)

3)      After she expresses herself, keep looking into her eyes as compassionately as possible and let her know you are taking in what she is expressing to you.

4)      Take time daily to slow down with your partner and share meaningful feelings and thoughts with each other.

5)      In the bedroom, touch her, but do it slowly, as if she will absolutely know how much you cherish her through your caressing.

6)      Hug her a little longer then usual; kiss her a little longer than usual.  Go past the point that is comfortable for you.

7)      Whether your partner expresses her “wildness” through pain or pleasure, look at is as an opportunity to stay in rapport with her.  DON’T TELL HER TO CALM DOWN.  Stay with her.  Her energy will not destroy you.

 

     With your eyes, words and touch, you can have a major positive impact on your partner.  It is difficult for us because we unconsciously underestimate our own power to love our partner.  The other reason is we are usually stuck in our own need to feel loved and approved by her and react when we feel as if “we are not measuring up in her eyes.”  Love your partner fully, create some emotional intensity and let her respond to you.  Never wait for your partner to make something happen.  Do it yourself.  It is a much more satisfying way to live.  Experiment with these ideas and behaviors and see if your relationship gets better or worse.  I’m guessing it gets better!

(Sometimes this is difficult to do in the beginning without a skilled third party person such as myself as a guide.  Feel free to contact me if you want me to help).