A recent article reported that the number of divorces in China have skyrocketed with the forced isolation going on due to the Coronavirus.

Their process is several months ahead of ours in where we are in the process of dealing with this difficult virus so I feel it is important to think about how what is happening here may affect relationships in the US.

I want to help you avoid some of the pitfalls that may happen during this transition so I have gathered my best tips to help you have a more joyful and less conflicting experience with your 24 hours a day partner:

How to stay happy and healthy with your partner:

Tip #1: Practice your own self-care. 

It is easy for us get full of fear and despair during this crisis.  Do what you can to protect your health and financial wellbeing.

Use this time to attend to your emotional well-being.  Meditate, do yoga (no classes right now), exercise, play a musical instrument, sing and dance. Be flexible and creative. My daughter who is a personal trainer at a high-end gym is of course temporarily out of work, so she started virtual online exercise classes.  Not only is it the beginning of a new business for her, but she gets to exercise with her attendees every day!

The better you regulate your own emotions, the easier it is to be loving to your partner.

Tip #2: Use this unusual time as an opportunity to slow down with your partner. 

Get to know him or her. Ask questions that maybe you were too busy before to ask because you were working or watching a professional or college sports event.  (Am I personalizing this too much lol?)

Tip #3: Make a decision to bring out your most loving self. 

Practice kindness, patience and thoughtfulness with your intimate partner as the beneficiary.  This is a time when some of your automatic perceptions, triggers and reactivity can truly come out due to the proximity and amount of time with each other. 

Challenge yourself to be your best and live with the intention to overcome those reactive behaviors.

Tip 4: Dare to suggest something novel in the bedroom. 

Use this time to create an adventure. Yes, there are challenges and anxieties.  However, most people have this extra time to put our problems aside and have some fun with each other.  The world has definitely changed, so why should you slip into the same old patterns?

Use this transition to your advantage and shift the relationship to be more stimulating.

Tip #5: Be grateful for your partner. 

Think of all the things you appreciate about him or her.  Let your partner know about it. One of the best antidotes to fear is gratitude.  Seriously practice being thankful of your partner. Feel it in every cell of your body.  It is usually not difficult to do this.

Then let the gratefulness shine through your eyes, your pores and your heart.

Tip #6: Play board games together. 

Watch movies you both like. Take time doing enjoyable activities together that you can do at home.

Tip #7: Give each other space to be away from each other. 

There is nothing better than to come together when you have been apart.  I have been seeing clients virtually all day and writing this blog, and I am looking forward to reuniting with my wife tonight.

  Through your own intentions and choices, you can avoid being another divorce statistic.

Be proactive and use this tough time as an opportunity in your relationship. I wish you the best during this transition and of course I am here to help (virtually) if you want some guidance.

Sign Up for my upcoming FREE Mini Class Series

Managing Stress: Principles and Strategies for Health and Well-Being Series

A Comprehensive and holistic approach to stress management. Where Todd will give you the tools to deal with the stressors in your life!  This mini series has the information you will need to help you build a stress free life.

During this series we will examining the following topics in these 60 Minute sessions:

Mini Class #1 Tuesday March 24th at 10:00am Pacific: Meditation and Manifestation

How to use them to reduce stress and build up your ability to thrive both mentally and physically during times of stress.

Mini Class #2 Wednesday March 25th at 10:00am Pacific:  From Toxic to Nurturing

We cover gaslighting (the process whereby a person who evokes in you a feeling of self-doubt, dis-ease and feeling ‘crazy’, in order to avoid self-reflection and taking responsibility for him or herself). 

 This could be your partner, a friend, a family member, co-worker or even your boss!

Mini Class #3 Thursday March 26th at 12:00 pm Pacific:   Intermediate and Advanced Communication Skills

Learn how to up-level your communication skills during this time of stress and increased home time.  

We’ll cover the aspects of healthy communication including identifying and expressing feelings, listening, overcoming defensive behaviors and becoming more healthily vulnerable.