In my role as a sex therapist, I often get asked this question: How long should people spend having a sexual encounter?

The couples I work with feel as though they must spend a certain quantity of time to have great sex.

This thinking often discourages couples who are busy, work long hours or have small children.

Thinking they need lots of time can discourage some couples so instead they end spend no time having a sexual encounter with each other.   

I have good news for you.

You can have phenomenal sex in 5 minutes or less. I am not saying that if you have hours to spend that you shouldn’t enjoy and slow down and take your time.

I am actually 100% in favor of that. As a matter fact I highly recommend it!

However this is not necessary always and I am going to give you five tips to have great sex in 5 minutes or less when that is all the time you have.

My 5 Tips for Great Sex in 5 Minutes or Less

Tip #1: Priming

When you know you want to have a sexual encounter but do not have much time, use the earlier parts of the day to prime the pump.

Send sexy texts anticipating your time together. Give your partner compliments and you may even give a preview of what you might do or say with your partner when you have this quick sexual experience.

Tip #2: Shift

As you are about to have your “quickie’” shift into a receptive mode by taking a number of deep breaths with full exhales as you fully feel into your body.

You are basically letting yourself know that you’re getting out of the typical pace of life and are transitioning into the present flow and experience.  Access and activate your erotic self, the part of you that wants to give and receive sexual pleasure.

All other thoughts, your to-do list, etc should be shelved for the next 5 minutes.

Tip #3: Get into the Mood

Think of what you know really turns on your partner.

Touch, fondle, kiss, talk, do and say whatever you need to do to help your partner get into the mood which probably will help you get into the mood quickly as well.  This is key getting into the flow of great sex.

Tip #4: Connection

Like I’ve said many times before, great sex is about your connection and not the outcome.

Orgasms are wonderful and at the same time you do not want to define good sex by how hard your erections are or how powerful your orgasms are. This is one of the great sexual myths  which is that good sex revolves around what we do with our “equipment” and how it all turns out. I’m all for erections and orgasms, but that is not the goal here. The goal is an intense physical connection.

Keep this mindset and enjoy your brief physical encounter no matter what the outcome.

Tip #5: Finish Strong

The best way to end your love making session is to take a moment to let your partner know how much you enjoyed him or her and it is always good to end with a loving embrace and kiss.

Remember that there is no right or wrong amount of time that you should be spending having sex with your partner.  If you focus on these 5 tips whether you spend 5 minutes or 5 hours you and your partner should enjoy great sex.