I have been married 31 and a half years to the day. I just calculated that to be 11,504 days, 276,096 hours and 16,565,760 minutes. OMG- I do not know if I should have done that; I feel a little older than before I took out my iPhone calculator. The point of this is that with all that time that has gone by, I have learned a thing or two about romance even though I am sure that there is much more to learn. So here is what I learned about romance that I want to pass on to you: (Remember that my definition of romance is anything you can do or say that will uplift the energy of your partner).
1) The many small things I can do are far more important than the big things- a smile, a compliment and an affectionate touch on a frequent basis is a necessity. Planning a trip to Europe is a wonderful luxury.
2) I need to stay updated on what my wife needs from me. She is not a static being; she is dynamic and ever evolving. I need to tune in to what makes her alive and well and provide what I can. For example- there are times she seems to need kind and encouraging words more than anything. There are other times she needs my focused attention. There are other times she needs to do a fun activity with me.
3) In order for me to be romantic, it sometimes means leaving my comfort zone or at the least is sometimes inconvenient. Yes, being romantic means that there are times I need to stretch; I cannot always wait to be “in the mood” and I cannot always wait for it to be “easy.” I love when it is, but it is not always that way.
4) There are 2 kinds of romance and they are both equally important. One is spontaneous romance. That is my personal favorite- a sexy or complimentary text, putting on some music for us to dance or spontaneous on the spot kissing. The other kind is planned romance. For many women, THIS is the most important kind of romance. It shows forethought and demonstrates how significant your partner is to you. I could still improve in this category and I intend to.
5) The more romantic I am with my wife, the better my life is. It is just like the old adage says; “What you sow, you reap.” The more romantic I am, the more she is and vice versa. We build a lot of goodwill and create a high energy, joyful relationship.
That is some of what I have learned so far. I wonder what I will learn about romance in my next 16,565,760 minutes!