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If we take good care of ourselves, our sexual system can outlast just about every organ system we have. People have the opportunity to enjoy sexual pleasure well into their older years. Couples that have attended to their relationship through the years can enjoy lovemaking based on sexual and emotional maturity, life experiences and a deepening of their intimate relationship. This can all help with some of the following challenges of sexuality in the older years:

  1. Women can develop some vaginal dryness due to hormonal changes such as decreases in estrogen levels. (Lubrications, hormonal balancing and some other medications can help with this challenge).
  2. Men may need more stimulation to get aroused and have orgasms. It is only natural and part of the aging process and like women, it may be due to hormonal changes, in this case- a gradual decrease of testosterone. With emotional maturity comes sensitivity, patience and acceptance of the human condition.
  3. Medical challenges can affect one’s sexuality. Prostate problems for men and hysterectomies for women definitely can affect sexuality. Also, cardiac problems, cancer and fibromyalgia as well as other chronic conditions can affect sexuality.
  4. Prescription drugs can sometimes lower libido and the ability to be aroused and/or orgasm.

I work with many older couples that have one or more of the above challenges. These couples are relieved to realize that there are solutions to these challenges. Sometimes it involves lifestyle changes that can help revive sexual health; sometimes it involves intelligent compromises where people don’t avoid physical intimacy even though they may not be able to do all that they did before. Some couples experience their best sexuality in their older years. Sex increasingly becomes a way to communicate love. There are less hang-ups and less ego. There is often more time to slow down and savor the relationship and each other. Those that are already there – please feel free to comment and share your wisdom. Those that are younger, if you play your cards right, you have much to look forward to!


  • Linda Stephens says:

    As a widow approaching my 68th birthday, I have discovered that I am at least as sexually alive as I ever was when younger. My sex drive is so strong that I felt compelled to talk to my GP about it. I was concerned that there must be something wrong with me. He assured me that I had no reason to be concerned about there being a physical problem that was causing my heightened libido, so I have relaxed and am learning that sex at this stage of life can be awesome! I have a partner who is 11 years old than I am and we are both having the time of our lives!

  • Jane C. says:

    My dh passed away a year ago after a lengthy illness after our being married for 39 years. I had a five year drought. Sometimes I climaxed in my dreams. Life is full of surprises. Late last year I hooked up with my old bf from 40 years ago and went on a five week RV trip. We are both 71. Had sex every other day with and without toys. We are now in the throes of an LDR. We talk every day, a lot about sex. I took the Oactually Pleasure Pledge and have a minimum of one a day. I am alive and happy and looking forward to our reunion in a couple of weeks. I have read a lot and pleasured myself. Liberated.

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