Love is circulation. The more we give it, the more we receive it; the more we receive it, the more we give it.
Co-dependency is not love because co-dependency is giving to others with the habit of sacrificing yourself. This giving cannot be sustained because the co-dependent person burns out, grows in resentment and ultimately can hate. This happens because the codependent person is closed off to self-love. Self-love requires accessing your needs and wants; your true self- the part of you that wants to grow and be more alive. With self-love giving is expansive; with codependency giving is deadening.
Self-love requires a healthy dose of selfishness.
Those that are healthily selfish are not self-absorbed; to the contrary- they are able to give and give a lot because they also take care of themselves and allow others to care for them as well.
I help many people learn how to love themselves more:
- They learn how to set boundaries saying no to the things that they do not want or are bad for them and yes to the things that they do want or are good for them.
- They learn that some people are manipulators and are self-absorbed.
- They learn to stop automatically adapting to these people and learn to disappoint these people at times so they may increase their own self-love.
Self-love is about standing up for your rights and what you want and need.
Self-love allows you to express yourself fully because that is the loving thing to do and you have that right. People that are self-loving choose when to yield and when to stay firm. They do what is best for them and others depending on the situation. They are not robotic and they tune into their intuition to help them make good decisions. Their lives have stopped being run by fear, such as the fear of being disliked or the fear of displeasing others or the fear of being alone.
It’s better for you to be alone and have self- love than be with another and not have self-love. And if you’re in a relationship that can change and grow as you increase self-love, now you have a relationship to celebrate! And that relationship is definitely possible!
It is easy to tell when you have increased your self-love by the actions you take:
- You go after what is important to you and you take smart risks that are necessary at times.
- You continually lean a little past your comfort zone. It is ok to fail because you will love and accept yourself whether you succeed or fail.
- So your actions are bolder and you’re a force in the world to be reckoned with.
- You do a lot of good and people love being around you. They love your radiance and your true friends are those that stay with you as your self-love increases even though you might be more disagreeable at times.
Have the Connection You Long For
Designed to help you experience greater and greater self-love
This is the most important thing you can do for yourself and others.
Join me and others who want to have the relationship they deeply desire starting on April 3rd 10 AM-11: 30 AM Pacific Time. The good news is also that if you cannot attend, all sessions will be recorded so that you can listen to it at a more convenient time and as many times as you wish.
If you want to find out about and/or enroll in this life-changing program, go to www.toddcreager.com/relationshipmastery. All the details will be there and feel free to contact me if you have any questions. Take care and here’s to increasing your self-love!