CELEBRATE! One of my favorite words. The Merriam-Webster definition of ‘celebrate’ is:
- to do something special or enjoyable for an important event, occasion, holiday, etc.
- to praise (someone or something) : to say that (someone or something) is great or important
This is the season that is most marked by celebration; many of the world’s religions have holidays to celebrate and of course we had Thanksgiving at the end of November and December ends with the celebration of the welcoming of the New Year. In these times, we usually do something special or enjoyable as Merriam-Webster says. However, many of us are not celebrating an important person in our lives- our intimate partner. As time goes on in relationships, pain is inevitable and this pain can lead to our hearts closing up. Also, and maybe even more importantly, it is also inevitable that we trigger each other’s childhood wounds. We protect ourselves by distancing and many relationships become “functional.” The playfulness, spontaneity and romance recedes and at best couples can become co-managers of house, family and finances.
I suggest that if your relationship has fallen into routines, use this season to reopen your heart. Notice the triggers (of your childhood wounds) and instead of closing down, work against that reflex and open your heart. I mean literally- pay attention to your heart area and open up that part of your body- and open that heart area as you are looking at and paying attention to your partner. Don’t let your self-protective reflexes keep you disconnected. Open your heart and celebrate the adventure that is your relationship. Relationships can actually be the pathway not only to relationship joy but a source of healing those childhood fears and wounds. This can be the season where you begin using each other to become all that you are.
Be bold.
Be open.
Be appreciative.
Celebrate the love that is between you and don’t let fear, pain or laziness get in the way. If you have difficulty with that, contact me so that we can help remove those blocks in 2016. Celebrate your adventure in intimacy!
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