Nothing is done without thinking about it first. If you often have the thought/question- “What can I do for my partner that will make him/her smile,” then you might want to skip the rest of this short article. But for the rest of you, here is my suggestion. Have your phone notify you that it is time to spend 30 seconds thinking about what you can do for your partner today to uplift his or her energy. When would that good time be? Right before you go to work? Right before you drive home from work? At your lunch break? In 30 seconds, you could think of some small thing you can do such as:
1) Send a loving text
2) Decide to stop at the supermarket on the way home and pick up your partner’s favorite food to cook.
3) Decide to hug and kiss your partner first thing as you walk into the house.
4) Think of a date for the upcoming weekend.
5) Think of a good question to ask your partner to show that you are interested and curious.
As you can see in the very partial list above, some of these ideas require actions that still could be done in a very short time and others require actions that may take significantly longer than 30 seconds. But the thinking could almost always be done in less than 30 seconds and to reiterate- nothing is done without thinking about it first. When clients tell me that they had no time to put into the relationship that past week, I know that is not the case. They just didn’t put in their 30 seconds. Experiment with this and create a new habit and see whether your relationship shifts. Please let me know how this works for you.
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