Three Ways to Lower the Chances of Infidelity

In my last article on the number one way to prevent infidelity, I talked about the importance of open and deep communication.  In this article, I will talk about three other important areas of attention that if you do attend to these 3 things, the chances of infidelity go way down.

 The three most important things you can do for your relationship:

1. Practice slowing down together regularly and receiving from each other.
2. Be frequently romantic.
3. Express your sexual preferences and fantasies to each other on an ongoing basis.

#1:  Slow Down with Your Partner

There is no substitute for slowing down together and getting out of what I call “to-do mode.”

Make it a priority to slow down together often.   If you need to hire an army of babysitters, then do it.  Walk on the beach together, be affectionate together, stop, sit and “just be” together.  See your partner as a resource for love and affection and thank your partner in advance for being that resource.  If you have trouble receiving (which includes FEELING LOVED) by your partner, find a good therapist that could help you remove the blocks to feeling loved.  Experience all 5 of your senses with each other often.  Smell pleasant things, listen to good music together or the quiet sounds of nature, see beauty, taste delicious food and focus on the pleasant feelings when your partner touches you.

#2:  Be Romantic with Your Partner

As I often say, romance is simply doing anything that uplifts the energy of your partner.

  That could be taking her to Tahiti, sending her loving text or anything in between.  The important thing here is to perceive yourself as you truly are- a powerful person who can have a positive effect on your partner.  Utilize this given power often.  Practice feeling appreciative of your partner and follow that appreciation with a communication, a kind gesture or anything that expresses to her that she is a significant person in your life.  Of course along with that, plan a date consistently.  Make the effort to create the time together so that your relationship becomes a celebration of two people whose intention is to create “good vibes” with each other.  There is no room for passivity in intimate relationships.  Make it happen because you can!

#3:  Express Your Sexual Preferences

Be courageous and be willing to have dialogues about what you want sexually.

Also, be very curious about your partner’s sexual needs and preferences.  A book I recommend that could help with this is “Getting the Sex You Want” by Tammi Nelson.

What works best here is that you set up the two following rules:

1. You and your partner could say anything; that’s right- anything goes.  You want to set up an environment where it is safe to reveal anything and that it will not be judged.
2. Just because the person wants something, it does not mean that you have to oblige.  Oblige if at all possible but it is not mandatory.  You both need to feel as if you chose and that you are willing to do and say anything that you do and say.  If you feel forced, either decide to make it your choice or don’t do it.

If you do the above three things along with developing open and deep communication, you will create the kind of relationship that is unfortunately very rare.  However, this can be done and I have seen it many times over in my practice with the couples I assist.  What you will end up with is a rewarding relationship both emotionally and sexually.  When you are getting such rewards, even temptation can be dealt with more easily.  When we are getting so much out of a relationship, we do not want to do anything to sabotage the rewards we are getting.

Here’s to Getting the Love You Want!