Are you wanting to Spice Up Your Marriage?

Todd Creager is an Expert Sex, Passion & Intimacy Therapist in Orange County

It doesn’t matter how great a marriage is, over time even the best relationships need a sexual tune up. As your Orange County sex specialist, I am here to help couples regain the intimacy and sexual connection that may be lacking.  Here are some eye-opening statistics on how often Americans are and are not having sex:

  • Married couples say they have sex an average of 68.5 times a year. That’s slightly more than once a week. — Newsweek
  • Married people have 6.9 more sexual encounters per year than people who have never been married. — Newsweek
  • 15 to 20 percent of couples have sex no more than 10 times a year, which experts define as a sexless marriage. — Newsweek
  • 20 to 30 percent of men and 30 to 50 percent of women say they have little or no sex drive. — USA Today
  • 25 percent of all Americans (a third of women and a fifth of men) suffer from a condition known as hypoactive sexual desire (HSD), which is defined as a persistent or recurring deficiency or absence of sexual fantasies or thoughts, or a lack of interest in sex or being sexual. —Psychology Today

Although these numbers can be a bit alarming, I am here to show you how to not end up as one of these statistics. There is much you can do to have passion and great sex, no matter how many years you have been with your partner.

Naughty and Nice.

What are the keys to spicing up your sex life?

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We are taught to be nice, to be kind and think of others first. While this is admirable in many areas of our lives, a number of sexual problems manifest themselves due to not being selfish enough. Sometimes, as I discuss here, too much nice and not enough naughty can put marriages in jeopardy. I encourage couples to examine and come to understand their own sexual needs and desires. As they communicate and open up to each other, couples can reclaim their eroticism and have both loving moments and “hot sex”.

Kiss more, do something physical together, dance seductively, give each other a massage or just slow down and cuddle more. These are all great ways to stimulate your relationship.

Here are some more ways you can make your long-term relationship feel brand new again.

You can watch your love life start to sizzle by thinking outside the box and allowing yourself to be more selfish in the bedroom.

Does Better Communication Equal Better Sex?

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Throughout my many years as a marriage and sex therapist, I believe verbal and nonverbal communication is a portal for hot sex. You would be interested to read why I think there is a biological basis for this, as well. And one crucial part of this communication is learning how to listen in a receptive state.

Not only is it important to listen to your partner, but it is important to listen to yourself. Reach deep within to those hidden recesses where sexual desires were put on a back burner instead of expressed. As I discuss in greater detail here, this can be a way to create a sexier relationship with your partner. All too often people forget that the real key to hotter sex is connection. Be loving, be close, have an adventure – together. Remember that you have the power within you to create the relationship you want and keep passion alive.

 What are some misconceptions about marriage and sex?

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Americans think we have our act together when it comes to sex! This way of thinking keeps us in a rut and doing the same things all the time. Read here why I think this is dangerous and why we should be willing to challenge this idea.

There is much debate on how and when children should be taught about sex. The type of sexual environment created by parents will go a long way in shaping their attitudes about the subject. Children thrive when parents are open, accepting and encourage children to talk about these subjects. On the other hand, parents who are close-minded and unwilling to freely talk, will create a disconnect and this can ultimately lead the child to poor sexual choices and a lack of understanding about sex. Having a healthy relationship with each other will help set a good example for your children. Parents deserve to be lovers too!

One last misconception I get asked about a lot is where to draw the line between flirting and infidelity. Is it healthy? Should it ever be allowed in a marriage or committed relationship? We sometimes trick ourselves into believing that secrets are safe or okay.

Great Sex Throughout Your Lifetime

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I want to dispel the myth that just because you are a certain age that you can’t have great sex….I  see couples in my practice having that passionate connection with their partners no matter what age or stage they are at.

I address topic this in my series on Sexuality Throughout the Years.

Watch what Todd has to say about Sexuality Through the Years in this short video:

If you are in your 20’s you’ll want to read what I have to say about making good healthy choices about sex.  Or you may have small children and are trying to keep the passion alive while coping with the demands of being a parent – yes it is possible to have it all!

Healthy couples make for healthy children is another article I recommend that you read as well if you are the parents of children of any age.

Maybe you are in your middle ages and navigating the exciting and sometimes challenging period of reconnecting with your spouse while raising teenagers or after they leave the nest.

For those of you in the later years of life, I have great news…If you take good care of yourself, your sexual system can outlast just about every organ system you have!  Read more about sex in the older years here.

A Sexy, Passionate Marriage – is this the end goal?

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Absolutely! It is a goal that every couple should have and is capable of obtaining. Following the other things I’ve laid out here will help lead to that, but there are even more things you can be doing. Do you feel sexy?

Do you know the role that your shadow plays in your sexuality? Celebrate your relationship, Write your partner a love song, and most of all be your own loving, kind, amazing self and see what that gift will give to your marriage.

What is the bottom line about sex when it comes to committed relationships? We basically don’t have enough of it. We get too busy, we have other priorities and we fall into a rut(ine). We make judgments about ourselves and our partners. We need to stop. Your body is built for pleasure. Why under-utilize this gift you’ve been given? You deserve it. And this is just one of the reasons you should have sex more often.

Are you ready to kick-start your sexual tune-up? I am eager and ready to help.  I have all cutting edge insights and a message that will change your life and your relationship. During our call together, I will share my five secrets for a sexy relationship. From my office in Huntington Beach, I happily serve the Orange County area including Newport Coast and Beach, Irvine, Long Beach, Laguna Beach, Corona Del Mar and Seal Beach.

You’ll never look at yourself or your relationship the same way again.

Contact me directly at 714-848-2288 Office

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