There are many factors that contribute to your psychology of money such as upbringing, economic background, cultural expectations, religious beliefs, role models, life circumstance, and innate personality and temperament. In addition, there are different beliefs about money (often unconscious) such as:

1) “I’ll never have enough”

2) “I don’t deserve it”

3) “I will be good enough only when I have it”

4) “I need to appear like I have money to be good enough”

In addition to the above two ways partners can be different in their handling of money matters is differences in temperament.  There are four different possible temperaments.  The idea of four different temperaments has been around for over 3000 years starting with Aristotle and has been developed more clearly over the last century.  The most recent terms for the four temperaments are catalyst, theorist, stabilizer and guardian. People are most alive and well when they are able to meet their core needs and live their values and talents of their particular temperament.

Regarding money, catalysts tend to use money as a way to create future possibilities. They will more easily spend money to benefit themselves or their loved ones in the future.  They see the big picture and will sacrifice the present to some degree to get there. Theorists strategize and think through financial matters. They see the big picture as well and will weigh the pros and cons of making a certain financial decision.  Stabilizers are more concrete and would like things stable and secure. You can count on them to be thrifty and conservative with money.  Improvisers are totally in the here and now. They will spend money to enjoy an experience.  They want results now and will spend to get that result.

Couples can make a choice as to how they will approach their money matters.  They could either stay in a power struggle or choose to work towards understanding, balance, and cooperation.  Firstly, they need to work toward understanding and accepting their two different money realities. With that understanding and acceptance in place, they can more easily practice good listening, compromising and effective problem solving and resolution.