What is a breakthrough lifestyle? It is one where breakthroughs are consistent and consciously planned. As I heard Stephen Covey say, “Every breakthrough involves a break from.” We are all creatures of habit who get caught in a web of comfort and stagnation unless we break from old unhelpful habits of speaking, acting, feeling, imaging and thinking.
If left to our automatic functioning, we tend to stay in our comfort zones which prevent us from growing and developing as human beings which in turn prevents us from reaching our financial, relationships and spiritual potential. There is an unconscious psychological “gravitational pull” that keeps us inert. The reason for this pull is to protect us from the unknown and all its imaginary dangers. The problem is that instead of protecting us, it actually does the opposite. Paradoxically, the best way to be safe in this world is to risk and risk consistently.
We are all defined in a sense by our fears. Our fear is our stopping point which I like to call our edge. We need to embrace our edge, that place where we are afraid to go further. We all have fears and should not pretend that we don’t. For example, I am a psychotherapist who has expanded into being a business consultant and speaker as well. At one point, the idea of going into businesses to help them with team building, employee motivation, etc. immediately put me on my edge. It brought up fear and self doubt. Next, I had to lean beyond my edge and develop the materials and make the contacts to make that happen. Another edge was raising my speaking fees (even though a part of me was gulping and fearing that I raised myself right out of an opportunity!) When on your edge, you are more visible; with more potential for success and failure. There is the feeling of being on an adventure and it is a time of welcoming the unknown.
Our relationships provide many opportunities for developing a breakthrough lifestyle. I challenged a client of mine, who was always the “good child” and never made waves, to enter a family party “high-fiving” everybody in attendance. Most of the family members enjoyed her grand entrance and the few that became concerned by this change in behavior was reassured by my client that she was “just fine.” I challenge my couples to spend time looking into each other’s eyes and a myriad of other behaviors that tear down walls and put the relationship on its edge. Intimate relationships are adventures that are truly not meant for the feint of heart. Successful relating at work also involves a degree of risk and experimenting with new behaviors and perceptions.
Challenge yourself to find and lean over your edge every day. Ask yourself, what am I afraid to reveal about myself or express or do? Find appropriate ways to take that leap. The more you do it, the more success, joy and fulfillment you will have.
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