Todd Creager

Orange County Marriage Therapy

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Relationship Advice

Why You Freeze During Conflict (And How to Stop)

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When Your Body Shuts Down During Conflict: Why You Freeze and How to Stay Present Without Saying a Word

You’re in the middle of a difficult conversation with your partner. Their voice rises slightly, maybe there’s frustration or disappointment in their tone. And then something happens inside you—your mind goes blank, your body feels heavy, and you can’t access words even if you wanted to. You’re still sitting there, but you’ve gone somewhere else entirely.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not broken. You’re experiencing what I call the freeze response, and I’ve watched it play out in my office for over 40 years of working with couples. What looks like indifference or rejection to your partner is actually your nervous system trying to keep you safe from emotional overwhelm.

Here’s what you need to know right now: Freezing isn’t a character flaw or a relationship death sentence. It’s a survival mechanism. But here’s what most people miss—you don’t need to force yourself to talk your way out of it, and your partner doesn’t need to get louder to pull you back. There’s a completely different way through this that has nothing to do with finding the right words.

The bigger issue? Most couples don’t understand what’s really happening when one person goes blank during conflict. They think it’s about not caring enough to engage, when it’s actually about caring so much that the intensity becomes unbearable. That misunderstanding creates a painful cycle where one partner pursues harder and the other retreats deeper.

In this article, I’m going to walk you through what freezing actually is (it’s not what you think), why it happens to some people and not others, and most importantly, how to stay present in your body even when your words disappear. I’m also going to show partners of people who freeze how to respond in ways that help rather than make things worse.

This isn’t about fixing yourself or your partner. It’s about understanding how your nervous systems work and learning to work with them instead of against them.

What’s Actually Happening When You Freeze

Let me tell you about a client I’ll call Martine. She described freezing as “like my soul leaves the room. I’m here, but I’m not.” I’ve heard some version of this from many clients over the years. That absence—that’s what their partners feel most acutely.

Her husband Larry would get expressive when he was frustrated or disappointed. Not yelling, not aggressive, just more animated. And every single time, Martine would shut down. Her eyes would go distant, her body would still, her voice would simply stop. And the more she retreated, the more desperate Larry became to reach her. He’d talk more, ask more questions, try harder to connect. Which only pushed her further away.

This is the pattern I see again and again. The person who freezes isn’t choosing withdrawal. Their nervous system has made the choice for them.

When you freeze, your body is responding to perceived threat the same way it would if you were facing physical danger. Except the danger isn’t physical—it’s emotional intensity that feels too big to handle. Your system essentially says “I can’t fight this, I can’t run from it, so I’m going to shut down and wait for it to pass.”

Here’s what’s happening physiologically: Your heart rate might actually slow down (different from the fight-or-flight response where it speeds up). Blood flow redirects away from your extremities. Your thinking brain goes offline. You might feel numb or disconnected from your body. Time might feel strange—either moving very slowly or in a blur.

None of this is conscious. You’re not deciding to check out. Your body is trying to protect you from what it perceives as overwhelming emotional flooding.

Why Some People Freeze and Others Don’t

The freeze response usually has roots in your history. Maybe you grew up in a home where conflict was scary—loud voices, unpredictability, or worse. Maybe you learned early that speaking up made things worse, not better. Maybe you were punished for expressing emotions, so you learned to make yourself very small and very quiet.

When you’re young and truly powerless in a situation, freezing can be adaptive. It helps you survive. The problem is that your nervous system doesn’t always update its threat assessment as you grow. So even in adult relationships where you’re safe and have choices, that old wiring can kick in.

I’ve worked with clients who had no obvious trauma but still freeze. Sometimes it’s about temperament—some people are naturally more sensitive to emotional intensity. Their threshold for overwhelm is simply lower, and that’s not a failing. It’s just how their system is calibrated.

What matters more than why you freeze is recognizing that it’s happening and learning to work with it.

The Real Cost of Freezing (And It’s Not What You Think)

People often think the problem with freezing is that you can’t resolve the conflict in that moment. That’s true, but it’s not the real damage.

The real cost is that your partner experiences your freeze as absence. As rejection. As proof that you don’t care enough to stay engaged. They can’t see your nervous system shutting down to protect you. They can only see you disappearing right in front of them.

And here’s the painful irony—you’re often freezing precisely because you care so much. Because the relationship matters so deeply that the possibility of rupture feels unbearable. Because you don’t want to say the wrong thing or make it worse. So you say nothing at all.

I tell couples this all the time: the opposite of connection isn’t conflict. It’s absence. You can have conflict and still feel connected if both people stay emotionally present. But when one person goes absent, even if they’re physically in the room, that’s when the real disconnection happens.

What Doesn’t Work (Stop Doing These Things)

If you’re the person who freezes, here’s what won’t help:

Forcing yourself to keep talking when you’ve gone blank. That usually comes out wrong or feels fake, and your partner can sense it.

Beating yourself up for freezing. That just adds shame on top of overwhelm, which makes you more likely to freeze next time.

Promising you’ll do better next time without changing anything about how you respond to your nervous system.

If you’re the partner of someone who freezes, here’s what makes it worse:

Getting louder or more insistent. I know you’re trying to reach them, but intensity is exactly what triggered the shutdown. More intensity won’t bring them back.

Interpreting their freeze as not caring. I understand that’s how it feels, but that interpretation keeps you both stuck.

Demanding they explain themselves in the moment. Their thinking brain is offline. They literally can’t access explanations when they’re frozen.

How to Stay Present When Words Won’t Come

Now here’s what actually works. I’m going to tell you what I taught Martin, and what changed everything for her and Larry.

I asked Martin to try something different the next time she felt herself starting to freeze. Instead of disappearing completely, she was to do these specific things:

Press her feet firmly into the floor. This is grounding. When you freeze, you often go numb and lose connection with your body. Feeling the solid floor under your feet brings you back into physical sensation.

Hold something warm—a cup of tea, a mug of coffee, even just warm water. The temperature gives your nervous system something to focus on besides the emotional intensity. You’re giving it a different kind of input.

Place one hand on your heart. This is both grounding and self-soothing. You’re literally giving yourself the comfort your system is seeking.

Look at your partner. Even if you can’t speak, maintain eye contact. Let them see that you’re trying to stay present.

Martine did exactly this. She felt herself starting to shut down during a conversation with Larry. She pressed her feet into the floor, grabbed her tea, put her hand on her heart, and kept her eyes on him. She didn’t say a single word.

And Larry noticed. He told me later, “That was the first time I felt like you stayed even when you couldn’t talk.”

That’s the breakthrough. You don’t have to perform connection through words. You just have to allow connection through presence.

The Three-Minute Practice That Rewires Your Freeze Response

Here’s what I teach people who freeze: you’re not going to talk your way out of this pattern. You’re going to feel your way out.

Between conversations with your partner, practice this on your own:

Sit quietly and think about a moment when you typically freeze. Don’t try to solve anything. Just notice what happens in your body. Where do you feel it? Does your chest get tight? Does your throat close? Do your hands go cold?

Then do the grounding practices I described above. Feet on floor. Something warm to hold. Hand on heart. Breathe slowly—in for four counts, out for six counts. That longer exhale tells your nervous system it’s safe to relax.

Do this for just three minutes. You’re teaching your body that you can feel activation without completely shutting down. You’re building what I call your emotional muscle—your capacity to stay present with intensity.

The goal isn’t to never freeze again. That’s unrealistic. The goal is to catch yourself earlier in the process and have tools to stay grounded instead of going completely offline.

What Your Partner Can Do (This Part Is For Them)

If your partner freezes during conflict, your instinct is probably to reach harder for them. I get it. Their absence is painful, and you want them back.

But here’s what actually helps: Create more safety, not more intensity.

Lower your voice. Soften your body language. Slow down your speech. You’re signaling to their nervous system that there’s no threat here.

Say something like: “I can see you’re having a hard time right now. I’m not going anywhere. Take the time you need.”

Give them physical space if they need it, but stay emotionally available. You’re showing them they won’t be abandoned if they need to regulate their nervous system.

Notice and acknowledge when they’re trying to stay present, even if they can’t speak. “I can see you’re working hard to stay here with me. Thank you.” That kind of recognition matters more than you might think.

Don’t take their freeze personally. I know that’s hard. But their shutdown isn’t about you or how much they care. It’s about their nervous system being overwhelmed.

Beyond the Freeze: Building Long-Term Capacity

Over time, the goal is to increase your window of tolerance—the amount of emotional intensity you can handle before your nervous system hits the eject button.

This happens through repeated experiences of staying present with uncomfortable feelings and discovering you’re okay. That you have choices. That you’re not trapped.

Sometimes this work needs professional support. If you have a history of trauma, if freezing is deeply ingrained, if you and your partner can’t break the pattern on your own—that’s when couples therapy or individual work can be crucial. There’s no shame in that. Some nervous system patterns need more specialized help to shift.

What I’ve seen in 40 years of this work is that people absolutely can learn to stay present during difficult conversations. The freeze response doesn’t have to define your relationship. But it takes practice, patience, and a willingness to work with your body instead of against it.

Your Nervous System Isn’t Your Enemy

I want you to hear this: You’re not broken if you freeze. You’re not weak. You’re not failing at relationships.

Your freeze response is your nervous system trying to take care of you. It’s just using an old strategy that doesn’t serve you anymore. You developed this response for good reasons—it helped you survive something. The question now is whether it’s still helping or whether it’s time to develop new options.

The beautiful thing about nervous systems is they can learn. They can adapt. You can teach your body that it’s safe to stay present, even when things get intense. You can rewire those old patterns.

But you can’t think your way out of a freeze response. You have to feel your way out. You have to work with your body, not just your mind.

That’s why the practices I’ve shared here—grounding, staying physically present even when words won’t come, building capacity gradually—these aren’t just techniques. They’re ways of partnering with your nervous system instead of fighting it.

When You Know You’re Not Broken, Just Frozen

If you take nothing else from this article, take this: The next time you feel yourself starting to freeze during a difficult conversation, remember you have more options than you think.

You can press your feet into the floor and feel the ground supporting you. You can hold something warm and let that sensation anchor you. You can put your hand on your heart and remind yourself that you’re okay. You can look at your partner and let your eyes say what your mouth can’t.

You don’t have to force words. You don’t have to fake being okay. You just have to stay in your body and let your presence speak.

Because connection doesn’t require perfect communication. It just requires showing up, even in the messy, frozen, wordless moments. That’s when real intimacy happens—when you can be fully present with someone without having to perform being fine.

Your partner doesn’t need you to have all the right words. They just need to feel that you’re still there with them, even when things get hard.

And that? That’s completely possible, starting today.

About the Author: Todd Creager has spent over 40 years helping couples repair relationships through emotional safety and deep reconnection. His approach focuses on working with nervous system responses and building capacity for presence during conflict, rather than forcing communication before partners are ready. He works with individuals dealing with trauma, couples recovering from infidelity, and partners learning to connect more authentically.

Methodology Note: The approaches described in this article are based on over four decades of clinical experience working with couples who struggle with shutdown responses during conflict. The techniques integrate somatic (body-based) practices with attachment theory and nervous system regulation principles. Individual results vary based on trauma history, relationship dynamics, and consistency of practice.

Watch The Video Where Todd Explains How to Stop Shutting Down During Arguments

What if your next argument could bring you closer instead of driving you apart?


Learn how in Todd Creager’s Loving & Connecting Masterclass.
Lifetime access. Real results.

Say Yes to a Better Relationship

Do You Want to Be Right or Do You Want to Be Connected?

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You know what I see week after week in my therapy practice? Couples sitting across from each other, both absolutely convinced they’re right. And they are—sort of. They’re right from their perspective. But here’s what they’re missing: being right is costing them their relationship.

TL;DR: Most communication problems aren’t about who’s correct—they’re about the anxiety of not being validated. When couples race to prove they’re right, they stop listening. The solution isn’t better arguments; it’s developing the emotional muscle to prioritize understanding over validation.

But here’s what most people miss:

→ The need to be right functions like an addiction—it gives you a temporary hit of validation but damages long-term connection

→ Different personality types aren’t obstacles to overcome; they represent complementary values that both matter

→ Your partner feeling heard by you is more valuable than them agreeing with you

I’ve spent over four decades working with couples navigating everything from infidelity recovery to passion renewal.

And I can tell you this: the smartest, most accomplished people often struggle the most with this issue. Why? Because being right has served them well in other areas of life. But in relationships, it’s poison.

Why Couples Get Stuck in the Need to Be Right

Years ago, I took a training that introduced me to something called BLM—not Black Lives Matter, but “Be Like Me.” The instructor kept pointing out how we all walk around with this unconscious expectation: You’re supposed to be like me. You’re supposed to see things the way I see them.

But that’s not how humans work.

Take Sam and Barbara, a couple I’ve been working with. Sam’s successful in his career, very structured, follows a code of ethics and discipline. Barbara has her master’s degree, stayed home with their two kids, and approaches life with more flexibility—what I call “loosey goosey” energy.

They came to me saying they had communication problems. What they actually had was a Cold War. Years of it. Barbara felt Sam didn’t value her opinions. Sam insisted he just didn’t agree with her.

See the problem? Neither one felt understood. And when you don’t feel understood, you dig in harder. You explain more. You present your case more forcefully. You need to win.

The Addiction to Being Right in Relationships

When someone agrees with us, we feel validated. Maybe it means we’ll get what we want. There’s a neurological payoff—it feels good to be right.

But here’s the reality: in most conflicts, both people have valid perspectives based on their personality, their experiences, their values. Sam’s structure and discipline matter. Barbara’s flexibility and spontaneity matter. These aren’t competing values that need a winner—they’re complementary approaches that could strengthen their relationship.

The problem wasn’t their differences. The problem was their anxiety about not being validated, which led them to act in ways that made the other person feel unheard.

How to Stop Fighting About Who’s Right in Your Relationship

A colleague of mine wrote a book called “Do You Wanna Be Right or Do You Wanna Be Married?” That title says it all.

Sam and Barbara are learning to shift their goal. Instead of racing to convince each other who’s right, they’re racing toward something else: who can help the other person feel understood first.

That’s the opposite of what most couples do.

This shift requires developing emotional muscle. Just like you need physical strength to lift heavy furniture without getting hurt, you need emotional strength to handle life’s challenges with grace.

You can’t just decide one day, “Okay, I’m going to be a better listener.” You have to practice. You have to build that muscle through repetition, even when—especially when—you strongly disagree with what you’re hearing.

Practical Steps to Choose Connection Over Being Right

Here’s what I work on with couples:

1. Recognize the addiction pattern. Notice when you feel that urgent need to correct, explain, or convince. That’s the craving for validation kicking in.

2. Shift your intent. Your new goal isn’t agreement—it’s understanding. Can you get where they’re coming from, even if you think they’re completely wrong?

3. Build the muscle gradually. Start with less emotionally charged topics. Practice letting your partner feel heard without immediately countering with your perspective.

4. Value complementary differences. When you see different approaches—structure versus flexibility, caution versus spontaneity—ask yourself: “What’s valuable about their perspective that I’m missing?”

Sam and Barbara are doing this work now. It’s not easy. They still have moments where the old pattern kicks in—that need to prove themselves right. But they’re catching it faster. They’re choosing connection over correctness more often.

What Better Communication Actually Looks Like

Let’s say Sam thinks they should have a strict bedtime routine for the kids—same time every night, no exceptions. Barbara thinks some flexibility is fine—if the kids are having fun on a weekend, why not let them stay up?

Old pattern: Sam explains why structure is crucial for child development. Barbara counters with why rigid rules create anxiety. They both marshal more evidence. Nobody listens. Everyone feels dismissed.

New pattern: Sam shares why consistency feels important to him—maybe it comes from his own chaotic childhood. Barbara shares why she values spontaneity—maybe her parents were too controlling. They’re not debating parenting philosophy anymore. They’re understanding each other’s emotional reality.

From there, they can actually problem-solve. Maybe weeknights have structure, weekends have flexibility. But more importantly, they both feel heard. They both feel valued.

Building Emotional Muscle for Relationship Communication

Think about what happens when you try to lift something heavy without proper strength. You hurt yourself. You might drop what you’re carrying.

Same with emotional challenges. If you haven’t built the muscle to tolerate hearing perspectives that contradict yours, if you can’t sit with the discomfort of not being validated immediately, you’ll keep dropping the emotional weight of your relationship conflicts.

Building this muscle means:

→ Staying present when you disagree instead of rehearsing your rebuttal

→ Asking questions to understand rather than to poke holes in their logic

→ Reflecting back what you heard before offering your perspective

→ Noticing when your anxiety about being wrong is driving your behavior

It’s repetition, just like at the gym. The first few times feel awkward and uncomfortable. But over time, it becomes your new default.

Why Feeling Understood Matters More Than Being Right

Here’s something I’ve seen in my four decades of practice: couples who learn to give up the need to be right don’t just communicate better. They reconnect at a deeper level.

Because when you feel truly understood by your partner—not agreed with, but understood—something profound happens. You feel safe. You feel valued. The emotional armor comes down.

And from that place, you can handle disagreements without them threatening the foundation of your relationship. You can appreciate your differences instead of battling over them.

Sam and Barbara are starting to experience this. They’re becoming what they always wanted: a couple that communicates well together. Not because they agree more—they still disagree plenty—but because they’ve stopped making agreement the goal.

They’re choosing connection over correctness. And their relationship is stronger for it.

Moving From Conflict to Connection in Your Relationship

What I’ve shared with you about Sam and Barbara comes from real sessions, real struggles, real breakthroughs. The patterns I see in their relationship show up in countless couples—different personalities, same fundamental challenge of prioritizing validation over understanding.

This approach to couples work draws on personality type frameworks, attachment theory, and decades of observing what actually helps couples move from conflict to connection. It’s not about applying a formula—every couple is unique. But the principle of developing emotional muscle to prioritize understanding? That’s universal.

If you’re recognizing these patterns in your own relationship, know that change is possible. It takes practice. It takes building new habits. But couples do this work successfully all the time.

The question isn’t whether you’re right or your partner is right. The question is: do you want to be right, or do you want to be connected?

Todd Creager has been helping couples and individuals heal from trauma and rekindle passion for over four decades. His approach combines deep empathy with practical strategies for building stronger emotional connections.

Watch The Video where Todd Explains Why Being Right is Ruining Your Relationship

What if your next argument could bring you closer instead of driving you apart?


Learn how in Todd Creager’s Loving & Connecting Masterclass.
Lifetime access. Real results.

Say Yes to a Better Relationship

Why Love Isn’t Enough: Breaking Free from Repeating Arguments

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Have you ever wondered why love isn’t enough to fix repeating arguments in your relationship?

As a relationship therapist, I’ve heard countless couples say “We love each other so much, but we keep having the same fights over and over.” Today, I want to help you understand why this happens and what you can do about it.

Here’s why you’ll want to watch this eye-opening video:

Understanding Your Survival Mode

I explain why we get stuck in repeating arguments even when we deeply love our partner.

It’s not because you don’t care enough – it’s because your brain is stuck in survival mode, triggering old wounds and protective patterns that keep you arguing about the same things.

Discovering Your Blind Spots 

Learn why love isn’t enough to fix repeating arguments until you understand your emotional blind spots.

I share real examples of how childhood experiences shape our reactions and why we keep getting triggered by our partner in ways we don’t even realize.

Solutions That Help End Those Repeating Arguments

I offer clear, actionable advice on how to break free from repeating arguments.

You’ll learn specific techniques to slow down, become more aware, and respond differently when conflicts arise.

These tools have helped countless couples move from repeating arguments to deeper connection.

The Shadow Side of Love

We dive deep into understanding the “shadow side” – those unconscious parts of ourselves that sabotage our relationships even when we’re trying our best.

Once you understand why love alone isn’t enough, you can start working with these hidden patterns and repeating arguments over and over instead of being controlled by them.

Throughout this video, I share personal examples and real couple scenarios that will help you see your own relationship dynamics more clearly.

You’ll learn why repeating arguments aren’t just about the surface issues, but about deeper survival patterns that need your attention and understanding.

My 90-minute program “From Bickering and Escalation to Connecting and Loving” takes these insights even further.

But this video gives you the essential foundation for understanding why love isn’t enough to fix repeating arguments and what you can do to create real change.

Ready to understand what’s really driving those repeating arguments and learn how to break free from them?

Watch the video below.

Your relationship deserves more than just love – it deserves understanding, awareness, and the practical tools to grow stronger together.

What if your next argument could bring you closer instead of driving you apart?


Learn how in Todd Creager’s Loving & Connecting Masterclass.
Lifetime access. Real results.

Say Yes to a Better Relationship

What Your Parents Never Taught You About Healthy Love – The Truth Revealed

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What Your Parents Never Taught You About Healthy Love: Essential Lessons for Lasting Relationships

Have you ever wondered why no one taught us about healthy love?

As a relationship expert with over 40 years of experience, I’ve discovered that while we take classes for everything from medical school to golf lessons, most of us never learned the fundamentals of healthy love from our parents or society.

The Truth About Healthy Love

When I talk about healthy love, I mean the kind of love where couples stay connected through both good times and bad.

It’s about having a relationship where you can express your feelings openly – whether you’re sad, angry, or disappointed – without pushing your partner away or resorting to yelling and screaming.

Why We Struggle with Healthy Love

Most of us grew up watching our parents handle conflict in unhealthy ways. Instead of seeing repair and understanding, we witnessed:

– Fight or flight responses

– Punishment through yelling and bickering

– Emotional withdrawal and avoiding difficult conversations

– Suppression of genuine feelings and experiences

The good news is that healthy love can be learned at any age.

Thanks to advances in neuroscience, we now know our brains have “neuroplasticity” – the ability to create new patterns and ways of relating.

Key Components of Healthy Love

Through my work with couples, I’ve identified three essential elements for creating healthy love:

Repair: Learning to acknowledge when we’ve responded poorly and making it right

Attunement: Truly understanding and “getting” your partner’s experience

Curiosity: Being genuinely interested in your partner’s different needs and perspectives

Learning Healthy Love is Possible

Just like learning any new skill, developing healthy love takes practice and guidance.

Whether you’re in your 20s or 80s, you can learn to:

– Express yourself authentically instead of just presenting what you think others want to see

– Create a safe environment where both partners can be fully themselves

– Handle conflicts in ways that strengthen rather than damage your connection

– Understand and respond to different love languages and needs

Ready to Develop These Skills and Implement Them Into Your Relationship?

If you’re ready to develop the skills for healthy love, I invite you to watch my detailed video below.

I share specific strategies and insights from my decades of experience helping couples create stronger, more fulfilling relationships.

What if your next argument could bring you closer instead of driving you apart?


Learn how in Todd Creager’s Loving & Connecting Masterclass.
Lifetime access. Real results.

Say Yes to a Better Relationship

What If You Could Stop an Argument Before it Starts?

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Have you ever wondered what if you could stop an argument before it starts?

As a relationship therapist with over 40 years of experience, I’ve discovered that it’s not only possible – it’s a skill that any couple can learn.

Let me share with you why understanding this concept could transform your relationship forever.

The Truth About Arguments and How to Prevent Them

When we think about how to stop an argument before it starts, we need to understand that fights don’t just happen randomly.

They follow patterns, and these patterns can be changed.

Here’s what you’ll learn in this important discussion:

– The science behind why we get triggered and how our brain’s survival mechanism affects our relationships

– Practical techniques to pause and respond thoughtfully instead of reacting emotionally

– The power of “clean intentions” in communication and how they can prevent arguments

– Why vulnerability is stronger than defensiveness in stopping conflicts before they begin

Understanding Your Triggers

One of the most powerful ways to stop an argument before it starts is to understand what sets you off.

Our brains are wired for survival, which means we often react to emotional threats as if they were physical dangers.

When your partner criticizes you, your brain might respond as if you’re facing a real threat – but you can learn to override this response.

The Power of the Pause

Learning to stop an argument before it starts requires developing what I call “the power of the pause.” This means:

– Taking deep breaths before responding

– Recognizing when you’re getting triggered

– Choosing to share feelings instead of attacking

– Listening with genuine curiosity instead of defending

The Impact of Prevention

The ability to stop an argument before it starts doesn’t just make your relationship more peaceful – it creates a deeper connection between partners.

When you learn these skills, you’ll experience:

– More emotional intimacy

– Better communication

– Increased trust

– Stronger bonds with your partner

If you’re ready to learn how to stop an argument before it starts, I invite you to watch my complete video below.

I’ll guide you through specific techniques and share real examples from my decades of experience helping couples build stronger, more loving relationships.

What if your next argument could bring you closer instead of driving you apart?


Learn how in Todd Creager’s Loving & Connecting Masterclass.
Lifetime access. Real results.

Say Yes to a Better Relationship

Why Your Partner Doesn’t Hear You – It’s All About Brain Chemistry

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Have you ever wondered why your partner doesn’t hear you, even when you’re speaking directly to them?

As a relationship expert, I’ve discovered that the real reason your partner does not hear you has everything to do with brain chemistry.

Let me share what I’ve learned from helping countless couples improve their communication.

When your partner seems distant or defensive during conversations, it’s not just about being distracted or difficult – it’s actually about what’s happening in their brain.

Here’s what you’ll learn in this eye-opening discussion:

– The surprising role dopamine plays in why your partner may choose their phone over listening to you

– How fear responses trigger defensive reactions, even when there’s no real threat

– Simple techniques to break through these chemical barriers and finally feel heard

– The sustainable way to create deeper connection through understanding brain chemistry

Let’s talk about what really happens when your partner doesn’t hear you.

Whether they’re scrolling through their phone while you’re trying to have an important conversation, or they become instantly defensive when you express your feelings, it all comes down to neurochemistry.

The dopamine factor is fascinating.

When your partner is on their device instead of listening, they’re actually getting a chemical reward in their brain. Each notification, each scroll gives them a little hit of pleasure. It’s not that they don’t care about what you’re saying – they’re literally being hijacked by their brain’s reward system.

But there’s more to why your partner does not hear you.

When conversations become tense, and they react defensively, that’s another chemical response altogether. Their brain perceives a threat (even when there isn’t one) and floods with protective hormones. Suddenly, they’re physiologically unable to really hear you.

The good news is that understanding these chemical reactions gives us the power to change them.

It takes effort, but when we recognize these patterns, we can consciously choose to put down the phone or take a deep breath instead of becoming defensive.

The reward? A deeper, more meaningful connection with our partner.

Ready to understand the fascinating science behind why your partner doesn’t hear you and learn how to break through these chemical barriers?

Watch the video below to discover practical strategies for creating real connection in your relationship.

Your partner’s brain chemistry doesn’t have to stand in the way of being heard and understood.

Rediscover the Spark: Fall Back in Love with Your Partner!

Have you ever felt like the flame in your relationship is flickering? You’re not alone. It’s common for even the most passionate romances to hit a lull.

But what if you could reignite that spark and fall deeply in love all over again?

Don’t let your love story lose its luster. Click now to access “Rekindling Romance: The Art of Falling Back in Love” and start your journey to a more fulfilling, passionate relationship today! 🌟💕

3 Common Ways Partners Lose Trust (And How to Repair It)

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The 3 Most Damaging Ways Partners Lose Trust (And How to Heal)

Have you ever wondered about the common ways partners lose trust in relationships?

As a relationship therapist who has worked with thousands of couples, I’ve seen how trust can erode in predictable patterns. Today, I want to share the three most damaging ways partners lose trust and, more importantly, how to repair these wounds.

Let me walk you through the main ways trust breaks down in relationships:

1. Little Lies and Deceptions
Small lies might seem harmless at first – like telling your partner you only had one drink when you actually had three. But these deceptions create a parent-child dynamic that damages intimacy. When discovered, these lies make your partner question everything, wondering “What else have they lied about?” This leads to a cycle of detective work and controlling behavior as your partner tries desperately to feel safe again.

2. Broken Promises and Unreliability
When partners consistently fail to follow through on commitments – whether it’s cleaning the house, planning a date, or coming home when promised – trust slowly erodes. I learned this lesson myself with my wife, always promising to be home earlier than realistic. The solution? Under-promise and over-deliver. Be realistic about what you can do and then follow through.

3. Betrayal and Infidelity
Whether emotional or physical, betrayal cuts the deepest of all ways partners lose trust. It creates profound wounds and insecurity that can take years to heal. Often, betrayal starts with small lies that escalate over time into deeper deceptions.

The good news? Trust can be rebuilt, but it requires both partners to do their part:

– For the person who broke trust:

Recognize this is often a maturity issue. Be willing to “grow up” and look honestly at what drove your behavior.

– For the hurt partner:

Stay open to the possibility of change while maintaining healthy boundaries.

– For both:

Understand that healing trust issues usually requires professional help. The patterns are too ingrained to tackle alone.

Here’s what makes this video essential viewing: I’ll show you exactly how these trust-breaking patterns develop and, more importantly, give you practical tools to repair them.

You’ll learn why people lie, how to break the parent-child dynamic, and specific steps to rebuild trust.

Ready to understand how trust breaks down and what it takes to repair it? Watch the full video below. Your relationship deserves this investment in understanding and growth.

Remember, making relationships safe for love starts with understanding how trust works – and how to protect it.

Go From Hurting to Happy Today...

When you click the button below, you’ll gain access to my exclusive Healing Infidelity From The Inside Out Guide.

It’s a powerful resource that will support you every step of the way, providing practical guidance and actionable steps toward finding peace within yourself.

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The ‘Richter Scale’ Secret Guide to Lasting Romance

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Move Your Partner’s Richter Scale: A Guide to Lasting Romance

Have you ever wondered what it truly means to be romantic in your relationship?

As a relationship expert, I want to share how you can move your partner’s Richter scale and create meaningful impact in your relationship – not just on Valentine’s Day, but every day of the year.

In my practice, I often see couples stuck in a pattern of waiting – waiting for something to change, waiting for their partner to make the first move, waiting for that spark to reignite itself. But here’s the truth: you have the power to be the change-maker in your relationship. You can move your partner’s Richter scale by becoming the custodian of their emotional energy.

Here’s what you’ll discover in this valuable relationship message:

The True Meaning of Romance
Romance isn’t just about buying flowers or expensive gifts. It’s about anything you do that lifts your partner’s energy.

As I explain in the video, being romantic means taking on the role of your partner’s energy custodian.

It’s about making conscious choices to uplift and celebrate your partner in both big and small ways.

The Power of Creative Expression
I share a personal story about creating a custom song for my wife through songfinch.com.

This gesture made her laugh, cry, and feel incredibly special.

But remember, romantic gestures don’t need to cost money – it’s the thought, creativity, and intention behind them that matters most.

Breaking Free from Relationship Stagnation
Many couples I work with have forgotten their power to affect positive change in their relationship. When stress, bickering, or negativity takes over, it’s crucial to stop and remind yourself: “I can make a difference. I can uplift you. I can make you feel loved.”

Taking Action for Impact
Want to move your partner’s Richter scale?

Here are some practical ways to start:

– Write a heartfelt note expressing what you love about them

– Plan a surprise date to somewhere new

– Create something unique that speaks to your shared experiences

– Make time for meaningful conversations

– Show appreciation for the little things they do

The Joy of Being Proactive
There’s incredible satisfaction in being the one who takes initiative in romance.

When you choose to be the uplifting force in your relationship, you’re not just giving joy – you’re receiving it too. It’s about creating a positive cycle of energy that benefits both partners.

Remember, moving your partner’s Richter scale isn’t about grand gestures or perfect timing.

It’s about consistently choosing to be the person who makes your partner feel special, appreciated, and loved.

Whether it’s Valentine’s Day or any ordinary Tuesday, you have the power to make an extraordinary impact.

Ready to learn more about how you can become a master at moving your partner’s Richter scale?

Watch the full video below where I share more insights and practical tips for creating lasting romance in your relationship.

Together, we can make the world safer for love, one relationship at a time.

Watch now and discover how to become the romantic partner you’ve always wanted to be!

Rediscover the Spark: Fall Back in Love with Your Partner!

Have you ever felt like the flame in your relationship is flickering? You’re not alone. It’s common for even the most passionate romances to hit a lull.

But what if you could reignite that spark and fall deeply in love all over again?

Don’t let your love story lose its luster. Click now to access “Rekindling Romance: The Art of Falling Back in Love” and start your journey to a more fulfilling, passionate relationship today! 🌟💕

Understanding the Four Types of Trauma: How They Shape Our Relationships

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In my work with thousands of couples I’ve discovered there are 4 types of trauma and each one of these has a direct impact on their relationships.

Think about it, have you ever wondered why certain relationship patterns keep showing up in your life?

Today, I want to share with you the 4 types of trauma that can deeply impact our ability to form and maintain healthy relationships.

Working decades as a therapist, I’ve seen firsthand how these traumas shape our connections with others.

The first type is abandonment trauma. This isn’t just about someone leaving – it’s about experiences our brain couldn’t process, stored in our amygdala, waiting to be triggered.

When someone with abandonment trauma’s partner forgets to pick up groceries, it’s not just disappointment they feel – it’s proof that “I’ll be abandoned again.”

The second type is rejection trauma. I see this often in my practice – clients who heard messages like “you’re my failure child” growing up.

This trauma makes people feel fundamentally “not enough,” leading them to either hide their true selves or sabotage relationships before rejection can occur.

Betrayal trauma, the third type, runs deep. I recently worked with a woman whose father stole her bat mitzvah money, followed by a husband who cheated on her.

These experiences make it nearly impossible to trust again without proper healing.

The fourth type is humiliation trauma. This creates a deep sense of shame and often leads people to build perfect-looking facades while hiding their authentic selves.

I have a client who achieved great success in life but lives in constant fear of being “found out” as an impostor.

Why should you care about understanding these 4 types of trauma?

– You’ll recognize patterns in your own relationships that may stem from past trauma

– You’ll understand why certain situations trigger intense emotional responses

– You’ll learn how trauma protection mechanisms might be blocking intimate connections

– You’ll discover the first steps toward healing these deep wounds

 Healing any of these four types of trauma is possible.

The first step is becoming curious about these protective parts of yourself – not judging them, but understanding how they’ve tried to keep you safe.

With awareness and proper support, you can process these traumas and develop the capacity to love and be loved fully.

Ready to dive deeper into understanding how these four types of traumas might be affecting your relationships?

Watch the full video below where I explain each type in detail and share real client stories that will help you recognize and begin healing your own trauma patterns.

Revitalize Your Life: Instant Access to Your Trauma Healing Blueprint

Access the Essential Steps You Need to Move Beyond Trauma and Reclaim Joy in Your Life

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Celebrating You Whether Your Holidays Are Happy or Not

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Have you ever felt like the holidays are more painful than joyful? You’re not alone.

As someone who has worked with countless clients struggling through holiday seasons, I want to share something important…

You can celebrate yourself, regardless of your circumstances.

Let me explain why this matters and how you can shine your inner light, even when everything feels dark.

Here are the key reasons this message could change how you approach the holidays:

• Understand that your worth isn’t determined by external circumstances
• Learn how to access your inner strength during challenging times
• Discover techniques to honor your feelings while still celebrating yourself
• Realize you have an incredible, unbreakable light inside you
• Learn to stop depending on others for validation

Many people associate holidays with family gatherings, happy memories, and joyful connections.

But for many others, this time of year brings up painful memories, loneliness, or overwhelming sadness. Maybe you’ve experienced traumatic family events, are dealing with a recent breakup, or feeling disappointed by life’s current circumstances.

I want you to know something crucial… You are not your circumstances. You are not your pain. You are a brilliant, powerful source of light – just like the sun.

Think of it like this: We often act like the moon, borrowing light from others, waiting for someone to validate our existence.

But you are actually the sun.

You have your own incredible, radiant energy that doesn’t depend on anyone else’s approval or reflection.

Practical Ways to Celebrate Yourself

Here are some simple ways to tap into your inner light:

• Journal your feelings without judgment
• Smile for no reason
• Do something kind for another person
• Dance or sing, even if you feel silly
• Acknowledge your pain without letting it define you

The most important thing is recognizing that you are worthy of celebration, right here, right now.

Not when things get better.

Not when you achieve something.

Right now.

This moment is your moment. You are enough, you are lovable, and you are powerful.

I invite you to watch the full video below.

Listen with an open heart. Allow yourself to feel the truth that you are a shining, magnificent being – capable of creating your own joy, even during the toughest times.

Remember: You are the sun, not the moon. Shine brightly.

Is Gratitude The Secret Sauce For A Happier Life?

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Have you ever wondered how gratitude could transform your life, even in the face of challenges?

As someone who’s dedicated my career to helping people navigate through pain and difficulties, I’ve seen firsthand the power of gratitude. This Thanksgiving week, I want to share some thoughts on feeling thankful and being grateful, not just as a seasonal practice, but as a way of life.

Living with gratitude isn’t about ignoring the hard parts of life. It’s about finding balance and perspective, even when things get tough. Many of you watching this might have worked with me before, dealing with personal struggles or relationship issues. Others might be feeling overwhelmed by the state of the world, politics, or global events.

There’s no shortage of reasons to feel upset or discouraged. But here’s the thing: we need to learn to live from the inside out.

Why should you watch this video? Here are some compelling reasons:

• Discover how to tap into your highest consciousness: I’ll show you how gratitude is a key part of accessing your best self, even when facing challenges.

• Learn practical ways to cultivate gratitude: You’ll get tips on how to pay attention to the supportive people in your life, appreciate your health, and find beauty in nature.

• Understand the concept of post-traumatic growth: I’ll explain how even crises can lead to personal growth if we approach them with the right mindset.

• Gain a new perspective on life’s ups and downs: You’ll learn how accepting life’s challenges with gratitude can lead to resilience and inner strength.

• Find out how to balance gratitude with acknowledging pain: I’ll teach you how to hold space for both difficult emotions and thankfulness simultaneously.

In this video, I’m not just wishing you a Happy Thanksgiving. I’m offering you a roadmap to a more fulfilling life.

I’ll show you how to tune into the frequency of gratitude, not just this week, but all year round. We’ll explore how this practice can coexist with the very real pains and challenges we all face.

Remember, life doesn’t promise to be easy or problem-free. But with a mindset of gratitude, we can navigate its twists and turns more gracefully.

We can find opportunities for growth in our struggles and be thankful for the lessons they bring.

As a relationship expert, I’ve seen couples transform their connections through the power of gratitude.

When partners learn to appreciate each other, even during tough times, it creates a foundation of resilience and love. This same principle applies to all aspects of life.

In the video, I’ll guide you through the process of evoking that feeling of gratefulness.

It’s not about denying or suppressing pain. Instead, it’s about creating space in your heart for both the joys and the sorrows of life. This balance is key to emotional well-being and healthy relationships.

I’ll also touch on the importance of self-reflection. By asking ourselves, “What can I learn from this?” even in difficult situations, we open the door to personal growth and deeper understanding.

This practice of grateful introspection can lead to profound changes in how we view ourselves and the world around us.

Throughout the video, I’ll share personal insights and examples from my years of experience helping people through crisis and change.

You’ll hear how real people have used gratitude to overcome seemingly insurmountable obstacles and find new joy in their lives.

By watching this video, you’re taking a step towards making your world safer for love. You’re joining a community of people who are committed to living with intention and gratitude, even when it’s not easy.

This practice has the power to improve your relationships, boost your mental health, and bring more peace into your daily life.

So, are you ready to transform your perspective and embrace the power of gratitude? Don’t miss out on these valuable insights. Watch the video below and start your journey towards a more grateful, fulfilling life today. Remember, gratitude isn’t just for Thanksgiving – it’s a powerful tool for year-round personal growth and happiness.

Let’s make the world safer for love, together.

Rediscover the Spark: Fall Back in Love with Your Partner!

Have you ever felt like the flame in your relationship is flickering? You’re not alone. It’s common for even the most passionate romances to hit a lull.

But what if you could reignite that spark and fall deeply in love all over again?

Don’t let your love story lose its luster. Click now to access “Rekindling Romance: The Art of Falling Back in Love” and start your journey to a more fulfilling, passionate relationship today! 🌟💕

Taking Your Relationship to The Next Level After Infidelity

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Have you ever wondered if it’s possible to not only heal from infidelity but actually improve your relationship in the process?

As a relationship expert with over 40 years of experience, I’ve seen firsthand that it is indeed possible. In fact, I’ve witnessed countless couples transform their relationships after infidelity, achieving what we call “post-traumatic growth.”

Today, I want to share with you some powerful insights on how to take your relationship to the next level after experiencing infidelity.

This is the final part of our seven-part series on healing infidelity from the inside out, and it’s all about growth and transformation.

Why should you watch this video? Here are some compelling reasons:

• You’ll learn about the concept of post-traumatic growth and how it applies to couples recovering from infidelity.

• I’ll share three healthy mindsets that are crucial for taking your relationship to the next level.

• You’ll discover the top healthy habits that support ongoing relationship growth after infidelity.

• I’ll reveal some of the most significant transformations I’ve witnessed in couples who have healed from infidelity.

• You’ll gain hope and inspiration from real-life examples of couples who have not only survived infidelity but thrived afterward.

Let’s start with the concept of post-traumatic growth. While infidelity is undoubtedly a traumatic experience, it also has the potential to lead to significant personal and relationship growth.

I’ve seen couples emerge from this crisis with improved communication skills, increased vulnerability, and a deeper connection than ever before.

To achieve this growth, couples need to adopt three healthy mindsets:

1. The Scar Mindset:

Just like a physical scar doesn’t diminish our beauty, the emotional scars from infidelity don’t have to detract from the beauty of your relationship. Embrace your journey and the growth it has brought.

2. The Oak Tree Mindset:

Picture your relationship as a mighty oak tree with deep roots. As you work through healing, you’re developing stronger roots that will help you weather future storms together.

3. The Complexity Mindset:

Accept that relationships and people are complex. Embrace the multiplicity within yourselves and your partner, recognizing that we’re all capable of both hurting others and making positive changes.

Along with these mindsets, there are several healthy habits that couples need to embrace:

• Practice deeper communication and vulnerability

• Take risks and show courage in your relationship

• Cultivate romance as a daily habit

• Be persistent in your efforts to change and grow

I’ve witnessed remarkable transformations in couples who have committed to these mindsets and habits.

For example, I worked with a couple where the husband had cheated, and both partners came from backgrounds that made healthy relationships challenging. Through their dedication to growth, they developed new communication skills, set clear boundaries, and rekindled romance in their relationship.

They now enjoy a level of connection and intimacy they never thought possible.

It’s important to remember that change is possible, even in the most challenging circumstances.

While fear can be a powerful emotion, having a positive vision for your relationship and committing to personal growth can lead to incredible results.

If you’re dealing with infidelity or want to strengthen your relationship, I encourage you to watch this video. You’ll gain valuable insights and practical strategies for taking your relationship to the next level.

Remember, it only takes one person to initiate positive change in a relationship – why not let that person be you?

And if you haven’t already, be sure to download my free guide to healing infidelity, which includes the same strategies I use with my clients. 

Your journey to a stronger, more fulfilling relationship starts now.

Go From Hurting to Happy Today...

When you click the button below, you’ll gain access to my exclusive Healing Infidelity From The Inside Out Guide.

It’s a powerful resource that will support you every step of the way, providing practical guidance and actionable steps toward finding peace within yourself.

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CLICK HERE TO GET STARTED NOW

The Forgotten Half: Healing the Betrayer After Infidelity for Lasting Change

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Healing the Betrayer After Infidelity: A Crucial Step in Relationship Recovery

Have you ever wondered why it’s important to help the person who cheated heal after an affair? As a relationship expert who has helped thousands of couples recover from infidelity, I’ve found that healing both partners is crucial for long-term success. 

Today, I want to share some insights on why and how we should focus on healing the betrayer after infidelity.

When infidelity occurs, it’s natural for all the attention to be on the betrayed partner. Their pain is real and valid, and they need support to heal. However, for true relationship recovery, we can’t ignore the healing process of the person who cheated. 

Here’s what you’ll learn in this video:

• Understand the betrayer’s emotional journey: In the video, I explain how betrayers often experience panic, fear of loss, shame, and self-loathing after their actions are discovered. While these feelings are normal, staying stuck in them can hinder the healing process for both partners.

• Learn why healing the betrayer matters:

I discuss how the betrayer’s healing is essential for creating a healthier relationship dynamic.

By addressing the root causes of their behavior, we can reduce the likelihood of future infidelity and create a more secure attachment between partners.

• Discover how the betrayed partner can participate:

I share strategies for making it safe for the betrayed partner to understand and contribute to the betrayer’s healing process.

This collaborative approach is key to rebuilding trust and creating a stronger relationship.

• Explore the role of attachment styles:

In the video, I delve into how different attachment styles (avoidant and anxious) can contribute to infidelity and how addressing these patterns is crucial for the betrayer’s healing journey.

• Get practical tips for healing:

I provide concrete examples of how journaling can be a powerful tool in the betrayer’s healing process, helping them develop self-awareness and integrate their healthy self with wounded parts.

Watching this video will give you a deeper understanding of the complex emotional landscape after infidelity.

You’ll learn why it’s not enough to simply punish or condemn the person who cheated, but instead, how fostering healing for both partners can lead to profound relationship transformation.

As I mention in the video, this healing process isn’t about minimizing the pain caused by infidelity.

It’s about creating a path forward that addresses the underlying issues and helps both partners grow.

By understanding the betrayer’s journey, you’ll be better equipped to navigate the challenges of affair recovery, whether you’re the betrayed partner, the one who cheated, or a professional helping couples through this difficult time.

Remember, healing after infidelity is possible, but it requires work from both partners.

The insights I share in this video are based on years of experience helping couples rebuild their relationships after affairs.

They’re part of a comprehensive approach I’ve developed to help couples heal infidelity from the inside out.

If you’re ready to start your healing journey, I encourage you to watch the full video below. You’ll gain valuable insights into the betrayer’s healing process and how it fits into the larger picture of affair recovery. 

Take the first step towards healing today. Watch the video, get the guide, and remember – with the right approach and commitment from both partners, your relationship can not only survive infidelity but become stronger than ever before.

And don’t forget to download my free guide, “Healing Infidelity from the Inside Out,” which provides a roadmap for navigating this challenging process. 

Go From Hurting to Happy Today...

When you click the button below, you’ll gain access to my exclusive Healing Infidelity From The Inside Out Guide.

It’s a powerful resource that will support you every step of the way, providing practical guidance and actionable steps toward finding peace within yourself.

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Healing Infidelity: Understanding Attachment Styles

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Today’s topic is healing infidelity, understanding the connection to attachment styles and rebuilding trust.

Are Attachment Styles Linked to Cheating? 

In this informative conversation you’ll gain a better understanding of the connection between the two.

Have you ever wondered why some people are more likely to cheat in relationships?

As a couples therapist with over 35 years of experience, Todd Creager has helped thousands of couples heal after infidelity.

Through this work, he’s discovered a fascinating connection between attachment styles and cheating that he wants to share with you today.

In this video, he dives deep into how understanding attachment styles can help both the betrayed partner and the betrayer heal after infidelity.

Here are some key reasons why you should watch:

• Learn how your attachment style may be influencing your relationship patterns and behaviors
• Discover why avoidant and anxious attachment styles can increase the risk of cheating
• Understand how to heal attachment wounds to create more security in your relationship
• Get practical tips for using journaling to increase self-awareness around attachment issues
• See real examples of how couples have transformed their relationships by addressing attachment

As Todd explains in the video, our early attachment experiences shape how we relate to partners as adults. Those with avoidant attachment tend to push partners away and struggle to feel love.

This emotional disconnection can make them more vulnerable to cheating.

On the other hand, anxiously attached individuals desperately seek validation from others, which can also lead to infidelity.

By recognizing these patterns, both the betrayed partner and betrayer can start to heal.

Todd shares specific strategies like journaling exercises to help increase self-awareness and integration of different “parts” of ourselves. This inner work is crucial for rebuilding trust and intimacy.

One of the most powerful transformations Todd’s witnessed is when couples learn to attune to each other and co-regulate their nervous systems. As they create more emotional safety, the need to seek validation or escape intimacy through cheating diminishes.

While healing from infidelity is challenging, understanding the role of attachment can accelerate the process.

If you’re struggling in the aftermath of cheating, Todd encourages you to watch this video for deeper insights into how attachment impacts relationships. With the right tools and support, it is possible to heal and create an even stronger bond.

 And be sure to watch the full video for more details on how attachment styles influence cheating and what you can do about it.

Ready to start your healing journey? Download my free guide on “Healing Infidelity from the Inside Out” below to learn more about my step-by-step approach.

Go From Hurting to Happy Today...

When you click the button below, you’ll gain access to my exclusive Healing Infidelity From The Inside Out Guide.

It’s a powerful resource that will support you every step of the way, providing practical guidance and actionable steps toward finding peace within yourself.

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CLICK HERE TO GET STARTED NOW
Beyond Betrayal- How Understanding Both Partners' Pain Leads to Healing

Find out how understanding both perspectives can help you heal from the pain and confusion of infidelity. Rebuild trust and strengthen your relationship.

Learn More Here

Link Between Childhood and Infidelity

Explore the intriguing link between childhood and infidelity. Gain valuable insights into why certain individuals are more prone to cheating in relationships.

 

Learn More Here

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Find out why victims of infidelity often blame themselves and learn how to support and heal the betrayed partner.

 

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Shift Your Relationship Dynamic: Creating a Partnership of Equals

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Have you ever felt like you’re stuck in a parent-child dynamic with your partner, instead of relating as two equal adults?

If so, you’re not alone.

This is a common challenge many couples face, and it can put a real strain on your relationship.

In my latest video, I dive deep into this issue and share some powerful insights on how to shift your relationship from a parent-child pattern to a healthy adult-adult dynamic.

As a relationship therapist with decades of experience, I’ve seen firsthand how damaging these unhealthy patterns can be. But I’ve also witnessed the incredible transformations that occur when couples learn to relate as true partners.

In this video, I offer practical relationship advice to help you break free from these roles and create a more balanced, fulfilling partnership.

Here are some compelling reasons why you should watch this video:

• Gain a clear understanding of the parent-child dynamic:

I break down exactly what this pattern looks like in relationships, helping you identify if it’s present in your own. You’ll learn how it can manifest as mother-son, father-daughter, or other variations, regardless of gender or sexual orientation.

• Discover the root causes: I explain why couples often slip into these roles, even when they don’t intend to.

Understanding the underlying factors is crucial for making lasting changes.

• Learn effective communication strategies: I provide concrete examples of how to shift your language and approach to foster a more equal dynamic.

You’ll hear how to express needs vulnerably and respond to requests without feeling controlled.

• Develop emotional awareness: I guide you through recognizing your own triggers and emotional responses, helping you catch yourself when you’re slipping into child-like or parental behaviors.

• Embrace a partnership of equals: Most importantly, I show you how to cultivate a relationship where both partners’ needs and wants are equally valued and respected.

Throughout the video, I use relatable scenarios to illustrate these concepts. For instance, I walk through a common situation involving taking out the trash, demonstrating how it can either reinforce a parent-child dynamic or be an opportunity for adult-adult interaction.

I provide specific language and techniques you can start using right away to improve your communication and strengthen your bond.

One of the key takeaways from this video is the importance of vulnerability in creating an equal partnership.

I explain how the person in the “parent” role needs to learn to express their needs more openly, while the person in the “child” role must recognize their partner’s legitimate needs and make conscious choices as an adult.

I also address the challenges of breaking these ingrained patterns.

It’s not always easy to shift out of roles we’ve become comfortable with, even if they’re not serving us well. But with awareness and practice, it’s absolutely possible to create a more balanced and fulfilling relationship.

My goal with this video is to help you see your partner not as someone to manage or rebel against, but as an equal with their own wants and needs.

When you can both approach your relationship from this perspective, it opens up new possibilities for connection, understanding, and mutual support.

If you’ve ever felt frustrated by power imbalances in your relationship, or if you simply want to take your partnership to the next level, this video is a must-watch. The insights and strategies I share can help you create a stronger, more satisfying bond with your partner.

Don’t miss out on this opportunity to gain valuable relationship advice and take concrete steps towards a healthier, more equal partnership.

Feel free to leave a comment and let me know how these ideas resonate with you. Together, we can make the world safe for love.

Rediscover the Spark: Fall Back in Love with Your Partner!

Have you ever felt like the flame in your relationship is flickering? You’re not alone. It’s common for even the most passionate romances to hit a lull.

But what if you could reignite that spark and fall deeply in love all over again?

Don’t let your love story lose its luster. Click now to access “Rekindling Romance: The Art of Falling Back in Love” and start your journey to a more fulfilling, passionate relationship today! 🌟💕

Rebuilding Trust: How to Support and Heal The Betrayed Partner

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Learning to support and heal the betrayed partner after infidelity is one of the keys to saving your marriage.

In this post infidelity expert Todd Creager explains how based on his 90% success rate helping thousands of couples heal after infidelity.

Have you ever wondered why victims of infidelity often blame themselves?

As a relationship expert who’s helped thousands of couples heal from infidelity, Todd’s seen this pattern time and time again.

Today, he’s sharing some crucial insights on supporting and healing the betrayed partner.

In his new program, “Healing Infidelity From the Inside Out,” he dives deep into this topic because learning how to support and heal the betrayed partner is essential to saving your relationship.

Here’s why you should watch the full video:

• Understand why blaming yourself as the betrayed partner is common but incorrect: I’ll explain the psychological reasons behind self-blame and how to overcome it.

You’ll learn that your partner’s infidelity is never because you’re “not enough.”

• Discover the importance of addressing childhood wounds: Todd shows you how past experiences can be triggered by infidelity and how to heal both adult and younger parts of yourself.

• Learn practical strategies for building a support system: Todd gives you tips on overcoming embarrassment and finding the right people to confide in during this difficult time.

• Get insights on how the betrayer can support healing: Todd shares specific ways the unfaithful partner can contribute to the healing process, including the importance of emotional regulation and personal growth.

• Understand the long-term benefits of doing the work: Whether you stay in the relationship or not, Todd explains how healing from infidelity can lead to personal growth and healthier future relationships.

As we explore these topics, Todd wants you to know that healing is possible.

He’s seen couples transform their relationships after infidelity, often becoming stronger than ever before. It’s what he calls “post-traumatic growth.”

In the video, Todd shares real-life examples and practical exercises from my program. He talks about the importance of attuning to your partner’s needs, processing trauma, and developing better communication skills.

These are all crucial steps in the healing journey.

Remember, both partners need to be committed to growth and healing for the relationship to thrive after infidelity. But even if you end up parting ways, the personal work you do will benefit you immensely in future relationships.

Todd knows this is a painful and challenging time. That’s why he’s created this video series and my comprehensive program. He wants to give you the tools and support you need to heal, grow, and create the relationship you truly desire.

Don’t let shame or embarrassment hold you back from seeking help. Watch the video below to start your healing journey today.

And if you’re ready to dive deeper, check out my free guide to “Healing Infidelity From the Inside Out.” It’s packed with proven strategies Todd has used to help thousands of couples successfully navigate this difficult terrain.

Remember, you’re not alone in this. With the right support and tools, you can heal from infidelity and create a more fulfilling relationship – whether with your current partner or in the future. 

Go From Hurting to Happy Today...

When you click the button below, you’ll gain access to my exclusive Healing Infidelity From The Inside Out Guide.

It’s a powerful resource that will support you every step of the way, providing practical guidance and actionable steps toward finding peace within yourself.

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CLICK HERE TO GET STARTED NOW

Conflict Avoidance: The Unexpected Reason Your Physical Intimacy is Suffering

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Struggling with physical intimacy in your relationship? Conflict avoidance is the surprising culprit you need to know about

Hey there, it’s Todd Creager. Have you ever wondered why the spark in your bedroom seems to have fizzled out, even though you still love your partner deeply? As a couples therapist, I’ve seen this scenario play out time and time again. But here’s the kicker: the reason behind your dwindling physical intimacy might not be what you think.

In my latest video, I dive deep into a topic that’s often overlooked but incredibly crucial: the connection between conflict avoidance and physical intimacy. Trust me, this is a game-changer for many couples I work with, and it could be for you too.

But why should you take the time to watch this video? Let me break it down for you:

• Uncover the Hidden Intimacy Killer: I’ll reveal how conflict avoidance, something you might not even realize you’re doing, can slowly but surely chip away at your sexual connection. This insight alone could be the key to reigniting your passion.

• Learn to be “Healthfully Selfish”: I know, I know – being selfish sounds like bad advice, right? But I’ll show you why a certain kind of selfishness is actually crucial for a thriving sex life. It’s all about finding that sweet spot between caring for your partner and honoring your own needs.

• Get Practical Tools to Overcome Conflict Avoidance: I’m not just going to leave you hanging with theory. I’ll give you specific questions to ask yourself (and your partner) that can help you start addressing those avoided conflicts and rekindling your intimacy.

• Understand the Science Behind It All: I’ll break down the neurobiological aspects of conflict avoidance and how it affects your libido. Don’t worry, I’ll keep it simple and easy to understand – no Ph.D. required!

• Hear Real-Life Success Stories: I’ll share personal experiences and client stories (keeping everything confidential, of course) that show how addressing conflict avoidance can transform your relationship and sex life.

Now, you might be thinking, “Todd, this sounds great, but I’m not sure if it applies to me.”

Let me ask you this: Have you ever held back from expressing a need or desire to your partner because you were afraid of causing tension?

Have you ever swallowed your frustration to keep the peace, only to feel a little less interested in physical intimacy later?

If you answered yes to either of these, then this video is definitely for you.

In my years of working with couples, I’ve seen how conflict avoidance can sneak into a relationship. It often starts innocently enough – maybe you don’t want to rock the boat, or you’re trying to be considerate.

But over time, it can create a wall between you and your partner, especially in the bedroom.

The good news?

Once you understand this connection, you can start to make positive changes.

In the video, I’ll guide you through the process of recognizing conflict avoidance in your relationship and give you practical steps to overcome it.

We’ll explore how to express your needs and desires in a way that brings you closer together, rather than pushing you apart.

And here’s the exciting part: as you learn to navigate conflicts in a healthy way, you might find that your attraction to your partner actually increases.

I’ve experienced this in my own marriage, and I’ve seen it happen for countless couples I’ve worked with.

Remember, physical intimacy isn’t just about sex – it’s about feeling close, connected, and truly seen by your partner.

By addressing conflict avoidance, you’re not just improving your sex life; you’re deepening your entire relationship.

So, are you ready to take the first step towards a more passionate, connected relationship?

The video is right here, waiting for you. In just a few minutes, you could gain insights that could transform your relationship for years to come.

Don’t let conflict avoidance keep you from the intimate, fulfilling relationship you deserve. Watch the video now, and let’s start making your world safer for love. Trust me, your future self (and your partner) will thank you.

Go ahead, click play. Your journey to better intimacy starts now!

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