The coming holiday season can bring joy to some and pain to others.
There can be the excited feeling of looking forward to getting together with family and there also can be the dread of getting together with family.
If you feel like you are in the middle between your spouse and your biological family- I have some advice for you. GET OUT OF THERE! Yes- get out of the middle and here are a few steps in how you can do that:
1. Ask yourself- If I wasn’t trying to keep harmony and was less worried about protecting others, what would I want to do for the holidays? Who would I want to see and how much time do I want to spend with my family? In other words, act like you matter, because you do. Others can adjust to you especially if you are the type that often adjusts to or tries to please others.
2. Even though the context is important, all things being equal, make your immediate family’s needs (i.e.- spouse and children) a priority over your family of origin. Some families have a hard time with change.
Make sure that while honoring your biological family’s traditions and relationships are important, that you give yourself permission to “differentiate” from your family of origin and forge your own territory. We all need to accept change and when an adult child gets married; the needs of both spouses and both families need to be acknowledged. Change is the name of the game and people can either accept that and thrive or resist that and have conflict.
Are you feeling a bit stressed about the upcoming holidays?
Would you like some help from me to put the HAPPY back in them?
I have put together a FR*EE one hour call where I will show you how to survive and thrive during the holidays. Click right here to find out more…