I have written and talked much about the many factors that can contribute to infidelity. However, there is one way to prevent infidelity that trumps all others. OPEN AND COURAGEOUS COMMUNICATION. The biggest problem with interpersonal relationships is that we suppress, hold back and hide our feelings, preferences and desires that we think may provoke the other person or “get us in trouble.” By observing my clients, I have discovered that conflict avoidance is one of the more common antecedents to infidelity.
1) Ask yourself- what is something that is difficult to share with my partner?
2) What is my biggest fear about sharing it?
3) What do I want that I have overlooked in order to have peace even at my expense?
4) What is something crucial to my wellbeing that I do not get from my spouse?
You then need to sit with your partner and have a conversation that allows for more open communication. If there is a lot of resistance, you may want to think of getting a seasoned therapist such as myself that will help you both broaden your communication channels. Creating a relationship that allows for more self-expression for both people is going to be the best prevention strategy against any future affairs.
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