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BECOMING A SUCCESS MAGNET – Becoming Poised Under Pressure

By August 23, 2012Uncategorized

Each article I write illustrates some aspect of becoming a success magnet, in other words, someone who goes after success but also attracts success. When you develop the personal attributes that attract success, your marketing and networking has maximum impact. Today, I want to talk about the ways you could face challenges and overcome blocks to reaching your potential with relative ease and poise.

When I think of the word “poise,” I have an image of a ballerina moving with fluidity and doing difficult moves with grace. Stress can weigh on us, making us slouch and even buckle. We can react to fear inducing situations by either avoiding the situations or fighting through them with our bodies wound up tight. However, just like the ballerina, life asks of us to stand tall and resist the gravitational pull of slouching or reacting to the stress. We all have within us the inner resources to take pressure off our minds and bodies and become more fluid even in challenging situations and circumstances.


Breathe into the abdomen and exhale totally. If you did just this consistently, it would significantly improve your life.

Get to know your body (i.e.-where you are holding tension, where you are relaxed, your posture, how you walk, etc). Practice letting go of tension in those areas and notice the difference. Also, practice postures that reflect a sense of self-worth, confidence and trust. Walk in a manner that reflects a person who is centered, deliberate and in control.

Be process oriented. You cannot control outcomes such as what company will hire you or when your next promotion is coming. However, you can create process-oriented goals such –“I will make 10 contacts per week.” Practice shifting your thoughts away from worrying about outcomes and towards taking care of the next step toward your goal.

Be willing to lose and to “fail.” The most successful people are those that risk loss, whether it is loss of acceptance or money or familiarity. The word “fail” is in italics because I do not believe people truly ever fail, they just learn what choice not to make next time.

Practice developing a sense of trust. Ask yourself, “How would it feel and what choices would I make if I lived knowing that everything somehow is going to work out fine no matter what it looks like now?”

See your life as a learning laboratory, not a performance.

Reserve time in your life to do things that thrill your soul. You’ll know what those things are because when you think about doing that activity, you instantly begin to feel more alive or you may feel a longing if you have not done it for some time.

Practice “stopping” for a period of time on a daily basis. This could be in the form of meditation, nature walks, yoga, Tai chi, self-hypnosis, imagery, etc.

We are all defined in a sense by our fears. Our fear is our stopping point which I like to call our edge. We need to embrace our edge, that place where we are afraid to go further. We all have fears and should not pretend that we don’t. For example, I am a psychotherapist who has expanded into being a business consultant and speaker as well. At one point, the idea of going into businesses to help them with team building, employee motivation, etc. immediately put me on my edge. It brought up fear and self doubt. Next, I had to lean beyond my edge and develop the materials and make the contacts to make that happen. Another edge was raising my speaking fees (even though a part of me was gulping and fearing that I raised myself right out of an opportunity!) When on your edge, you are more visible; with more potential for success and failure. There is the feeling of being on an adventure and it is a time of welcoming the unknown.

Our relationships provide many opportunities for developing a breakthrough lifestyle. I challenged a client of mine, who was always the “good child” and never made waves, to enter a family party “high-fiving” everybody in attendance. Most of the family members enjoyed her grand entrance and the few that became concerned by this change in behavior was reassured by my client that she was “just fine.” I challenge my couples to spend time looking into each other’s eyes and a myriad of other behaviors that tear down walls and put the relationship on its edge. Intimate relationships are adventures that are truly not meant for the feint of heart. Successful relating at work also involves a degree of risk and experimenting with new behaviors and perceptions.

Challenge yourself to find and lean over your edge every day. Ask yourself, what am I afraid to reveal about myself or express or do? Find appropriate ways to take that leap. The more you do it, the more success, joy and fulfillment you will have.

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