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Orgasmic Issues in Women

I have worked with many women and couples where the female is having trouble experiencing orgasms.   There are a lot of myths and false information.  As you will see below, physiological, emotional, and relational factors can all contribute to the problem.  However, as we are discovering in many aspects of sexuality, there is no real “normal,” and woman and their partners need to be careful not to be critical of the woman having orgasmic difficulties.

Here are ten facts about Female orgasm:

1)   A good portion of woman can only have orgasms through clitoral stimulation.  This is totally normal.

2)   Some medical causes of anorgasmia (the inability to have orgasms) are MS, chronic kidney disease, fibromyalgia, atherosclerosis and  some pelvic conditions.

3)   Hormonal imbalances including testosterone, estrogen and progesterone can lead to a woman becoming less sexually responsive to pleasurable stimulation.

4)   The over-emphasis on orgasms can lead to performance anxiety and less enjoyment of all kinds of sexual activity that do not include orgasm.

5)   It is totally possible to have a great sex life without orgasm.

6)   The capacity for orgasm falls along a natural continuum from being very easily orgasmic to anorgasmic and everything in between.

7)   Some medications can interfere with orgasms including the SSRI type of antidepressants, which raise serotonin.

8)   Just as female desire and arousal has to do with relationship dynamics, many women need to feel close, safe and loved to be able to experience orgasm with their partner.

9)   Anxiety and an overstressed, over-driven lifestyle can contribute to difficulties having orgasms.

10)  Familial and cultural messages that say that “good girls should be proper and controlled” or that imply that sex is shameful in some way can greatly interfere with some women from being able to be orgasmic.

In my next blog, I will discuss about some of the treatment and interventions as well self-treatments that can help a woman experience orgasms.

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