Healing from a Broken Heart

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Just about all of us have experienced heartbreak.  We can literally feel the pain in our heart when someone breaks up with us.  How can we get over this pain and move on?  Here are 5 steps towards healing from a broken heart.

  1. Feel your feelings; don’t avoid them by going quickly into another relationship or drugs or alcohol.  Avoidance will only belabor your anguish.  Slow down and spend time feeling what you are experiencing.  Cry if you need to; there is always a beginning, middle and end to emotional pain and heartbreak.
  2. Make sure you utilize your support system to talk about your pain.  Use this time as an opportunity to let others be there for you.
  3. If you notice a pattern of picking the wrong kind of partner, get into therapy so that you can prepare yourself to choose a better potential partner in the future.
  4. Decide to learn as much about the “recessive” parts of you that were not expressed in previous relationships so that you can integrate those parts of you into future relationships.  For example, if you discover that you have been too passive or adaptive in past relationships and have attracted controlling people, you can practice being assertive and become a “force to be reckoned with.”  You may find yourself being attracted to less controlling, more reciprocating people in the future.
  5. When ready, get out there again with your new sense of self and be willing to ask for more from any prospective partner.  Practice being that force to be reckoned with and have good boundaries.  Open yourself up to love and joy again.
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