Verbal and nonverbal communication is a portal for hot sex. That may sound like a bold statement but it is true. As a marriage and sex therapist with many years of helping couples rekindle passion, healthy communication is the missing link for hot sex.

We have not learned how to communicate effectively when in emotional pain because we never saw our parents do it. This leads to a disconnect between the partners. Women all around the world seem to agree that when they feel disconnected, their libido goes out the window. Good news is that we can go retrieve it!

There may be a biological basis to this. For one, the hormone oxytocin(called the cuddle hormone) is elevated in females, it leads to happier moods, more libido and even more intense orgasms. So what raises a woman’s oxytocin? Research seems to indicate that sharing feelings elevates oxytocin. So men- let’s start talking!

I have seen couples who have not had sex for years, communicate painful feelings in my office and they leave feeling heard and listened to for the first time in a long time. Often, the next session they come in and report all this great sex they have had in between sessions. Coincidence- I think not!

More about communication and sex in an upcoming Blog.


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