I have discussed about EMDR in a few past blogs. As I have said EMDR is a well researched and very effective approach to help people move through past pain so they can live more in the present. In this article I want to briefly talk about how I use it with couples that come to see me. Sometimes one or both partners are blocked emotionally or sexually because of some earlier past trauma or multiple traumas. Often past events can cause a person to have negative limiting beliefs which can prevent people from being closer to each other in positive ways. I have helped people resolve these past memories using this approach so that they could see each other in new fresh ways rather than project their traumatic histories onto the partner. This projection process happens unconsciously and the partner can take on the imagined qualities of past people who have hurt them. These past people can include parents, past partners who have rejected or cheated on them or any other significant people who have cause them pain that they were not able to process through.
Another way I have used EMDR is with couples that I help heal from infidelity. Sometimes the relationship has shifted in positive and the partners have learned to solve problems in more open and honest ways and yet the person who is betrayed has a hard time letting go of the traumatic experience of first discovering the infidelity. I hope the betrayed person process the pain of that experience so that he or she is free to have the relationship that he or she wants with the partner.
This process of eye movement desensitization and reprocessing is incorporated into my overall approach that helps couples heal and thrive. If you are interested in how my approach utilizing EMDR can help you in your relationship, please contact me.