I hear it all the time! What does my partner expect of me? I am exhausted after taking my children to their various classes and sport activities, and then I have to make dinner and after dinner, I have to get them to bed. By that time- I am exhausted and my spouse is mad at me for not having energy for him (or her).
What do we do when we need to make sure that we have enough money for all the things that are important to us? We put ourselves on a budget. Unless we have unlimited funds, we all have some kind of budget that we follow whether it is written or in our heads. Likewise, we have limited energy resources and just like money, I prescribe an energy budget. Just like we don’t want to spend all our money in one place and not have any money left over for other valuable things, we need to set up a life where we have energy available for our lover. We want to have energy available for our sex life, our passion, and the erotic side of the relationship.
I see parents running around trying to give their children the perfect, full life and then the children are exposed to a home where they see very little emotional connection or outward signs of affection between their parents. Let me say this: It is far more important for your children to see an energetic, alive relationship between their parents than it is for them to go to every possible dance or sports activity. If you are going to indulge anyone, indulge your spouse.
Ask yourself, how can I rebalance my life so that I have the time and energy for my partner? The benefits for the children will be real and significant. The happier emotional climate gives a sense of security to them and they have a healthier template for their own future adult relationships. They have higher self-esteem, which can help them in other aspects of life such as school, health and social. If you give “paying more attention to my partner” a sense of urgency, you will make it happen just like you do for anything that you give a sense of urgency. Rebalance your life and not only will you have a happier spouse; you will have happier children. I have seen the positive effects many times over and I want this for you!