1) Your once hot marriage will probably cool off; that is normal and that is not really a problem.
2) Once your marriage cools off, there are most definitely things you can do to fan those embers and get it hot again.
3) Think about what you used to do that created passion in your relationship and do it again whether you feel like it or not.
4) Yes, in order for passion to be recreated, you need to do romantic and sexy gestures BEFORE you feel like it.
5) Your partner will be angry with you, resent you, complain to you and even hate you. Don’t let that get in the way of your connection. All those “negative” feelings are opportunities for you to listen to your complaining partner.
6) Listening to your complaining, resentful, disappointed partner without getting defensive is the single most important thing you can do to create long-term passion. Good listening will shift those feelings into softer, more vulnerable feelings that ultimately lead to a closer and hotter relationship. If you don’t believe me, try it first and let me know how that works.
7) A passionate sexy relationship is created more by the daily things you can do to uplift your partner’s spirits and less about the weekly or monthly date or annual vacation.
8) Weekly dates are also very important despite what I wrote in tip # 7.
9) Look for ways to compliment your partner even if you have to really think about it. Our pain gets our attention so we often focus on the negative. Consciously and intentionally pay attention to the good things and loving actions done by your partner and let him or her know how grateful you are.
10) Take risks mainly in the form of being vulnerable in and out of the bedroom. Try new things with your partner even if you are awkward about it. Long-term passion is the reward for courage and bravery. If you expect an alive and sexy marriage to come easy, you will be greatly disappointed. Do the work and go out on a limb consistently.
I know that following these tips will change your life and your intimate relationship. I also know they are more easily said (written) than done. Sometimes you need someone such as myself to help. Whether you are near or far from my Orange County, CA office, I can help. Please contact me. Don’t deprive yourself of the possibility of having an amazingly passionate and romantic long-term relationship.