A Successful Couple Who Healed from Sex Addiction

By | Addiction, Fear of Intimacy, Infidelity, Pornography, Sexual Addiction, Sexual Trauma, Trauma | No Comments

Tom and Mary (not their real names) came to me because Mary found Tom’s sent emails to several online “solicitors.” He had not acted on them but he had admitted to checking out Internet prostitution sites over the last three years.  Mary caught him doing porn many times and was angry about how often he seemed to do it and the lack of initiating sex with her.  In our first session, he embarrassingly said that he probably looked at porn…

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Treatment of Sexual Addiction

Treatment of Sexual Addiction

By | Addiction, Infidelity, Pornography, Sexual Addiction, Sexual Trauma, Trauma, Treatment of Sexual Addiction | No Comments

I am going to be using the blog from 2 weeks ago- 5 Possible Causes of Sex Addiction to briefly discuss treatment approaches for this problem depending on the corresponding possible cause. As with many other “diagnoses,” there can be multiple factors that could lead to someone being sexually addicted. Here are five possible causes that I have observed in my clinical work: 1)   There was early sexual, emotional or physical trauma in the addicted person’s early life. Victims of…

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3 More Signs You Came from a Dysfunctional Family

By | Dysfunctional Family, Marriage, Marriage Advice, Sexual Dysfunction, Toxic Relationships, Trauma | No Comments

Two years ago, I came out with a video blog- Seven Signs You Came From a Dysfunctional Family. Apparently, it has resonated with many people as indicated by the high number of views. Feel free to watch it here.  I want to add three more “signs” to the list because we tend to blame ourselves or our partner for things that may have been patterns we learned in our family of origin. This month I will be writing and talking…

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How to help your partner heal from sexual trauma

How to Help Your Partner Heal from Sexual Trauma

By | Communication, Counseling, Healing, Healing from Sexual Trauma, Molestation, Rape, Sexual abuse, Sexual Trauma, Trauma | No Comments

A few days ago, I wrote about 7 different touching exercises couples can do together to help one or both heal from sexual trauma.  Here are five important things a partner can do to help the sexual trauma victim heal. Get educated.  Read articles and maybe even go to a sexual trauma expert to learn about how sexual trauma affects people. Encourage your partner to see a qualified therapist if he or she is not seeing one already. Be willing…

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7 Tips to Associate Touch with Love and Safety

Re-learning Touch: 7 Tips to Associate Touch with Love and Safety

By | Counseling, Healing, Healing from Sexual Trauma, Rape, Sexual Trauma, Trauma | No Comments

Victims of sexual trauma have learned to associate touch with shame, feeling out of control and danger. They are often left feeling as if they are bad and unlovable; all due to the way a victim will cope with the overwhelming pain of the experience. As victims and partners are educated on the psychological and sexual effects of sexual trauma, this understanding can motivate couples to engage in touching exercises designed to shift the negative associations to positive. These touch…

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Healing from sexual trauma

Healing from Sexual Trauma

By | Counseling, Dysfunctional Family, EMDR, Healing, Healing from Sexual Trauma, Rape, Sexual abuse, Sexual Desire, Sexual Trauma, Trauma | No Comments

Many clients come to see me because of symptoms due to either molest, rape or other sexual trauma.  Two weeks ago, I talked about types of sexual trauma and last week I talked about how sexual trauma can affect sexuality.  This article, though brief will succinctly describe some of the things I do and recommend to help people heal from sexual trauma.  Here are 7 keys to healing from sexual trauma: 1)   Relationships are very important.  Having loved ones, or…

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How Sexual Trauma can Affect Sexuality

How Sexual Trauma can Affect Sexuality

By | Healing, Healing from Sexual Trauma, Pornography, Rape, Relationships, Sex, Sexual abuse, Sexual Dysfunction, Sexual Problem, Sexual Trauma, Trauma | No Comments

Trauma is an experience somebody has that is deeply distressing or disturbing.  Sexual trauma is particularly distressing because of the sense of powerlessness and betrayal that the victim feels.  Often, the perpetrator, whether it is childhood molest or adult rape is someone the victim knows well. Some victims where the trauma was once or a few times (of course one is one too many!), may not develop Post Traumatic Stress Disorder particularly if the victim has a good support system,…

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People CAN Heal from Trauma_Introducing EMDR

People CAN Heal from Trauma: Introducing EMDR

By | Domestic Violence, EMDR, Trauma | 2 Comments

EMDR stands for eye movement desensitization and reprocessing.  It is an approach that has helped many, many people get beyond past distressing memories so they are free to live a full life.  It is based on the idea that the mind can recover from emotional pain just as the body can heal from wounds.  If you cut your hand, it heals- there is a scab and after a while- it looks as good as new.  If there is a painful…

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