Infidelity is an Interpersonal Crime!

Infidelity is an Interpersonal Crime!

By | Commitment, Communication, Infidelity, Intimacy, Love, Marital Advice, Marital Problems, Marriage Advice, Marriage Problems, Relationships, Sex, Toxic Relationships | 3 Comments

One of the more common things I do is help couples who have experienced infidelity survive and even thrive.  As I have said before, the great majority of these couples are successful in treatment.  However, I am clear on one thing- cheating and all the secrecy and deception that goes with it steals from the betrayed partner.  It steals a very important right- the right to have information in order to make a good decision.  You cannot make a good…

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EMDR- A trauma approach that can help couple

EMDR- A trauma approach that can help couple

By | Counseling, EMDR, Relationships, Toxic Relationships | No Comments

I have discussed about EMDR in a few past blogs. As I have said EMDR is a well researched and very effective approach to help people move through past pain so they can live more in the present. In this article I want to briefly talk about how I use it with couples that come to see me. Sometimes one or both partners are blocked emotionally or sexually because of some earlier past trauma or multiple traumas. Often past events…

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When the Toxic Person in Your Life is That Negative Voice Inside Your Head

When the Toxic Person in Your Life is That Negative Voice Inside Your Head

By | Toxic Relationships | No Comments

I have been writing about toxic relationships and this article is about another type of toxicity, the toxicity you give to yourself. We all have different voices going on inside of our heads and I am not talking about auditory hallucinations. It has to do with the self-talk we engage in throughout the days of our life. Most if not all of us have a critical voice inside of us that is measuring and comparing us with others and judging…

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He Overcame a Toxic Relationship at Work

He Overcame a Toxic Relationship at Work

By | Relationships, Toxic Relationships, Toxic Relationships at Work | No Comments

What We All Can Learn from John In my Todd’s Thursday Thought last week, I wrote about toxic relationships at work.  I discussed 3 tips to help you deal with toxic relationships in your work life including going opposite your reflex.  When we go with our reflex, it is usually going to bring us the same bad results we have already had.  It also does not do anything for our wellbeing or growth.   Toxic relationships are unpleasant but they can…

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Toxic Relationships at Work

Toxic Relationships at Work

By | Relationships, Toxic Relationships, Toxic Relationships at Work | No Comments

In addition to my focus on couples, I have done some business consulting and have helped business be more profitable by developing healthier relationships at work.  Researchers have consistently shown that there is a connection between good morale, healthy work relationships and productivity.  However, sometimes, just as in personal relationships, you have to deal with a toxic relationship at work.  I have helped many clients in my private practice deal with people at work who are draining their energy, creating…

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Create a New Positive Family Legacy

By | Communication, Counseling, Dysfunctional Family, Family Relationships, Holidays, Marital Advice, Marital Problems, Marriage, Marriage Advice, Marriage Problems, Mind/Body Health, Parenting, Relationships, Toxic Relationships, Videos | No Comments

Family! Ever find your parents’ voice coming out of your mouth? Do you find yourself recreating the same patterns with your partner or children? Are you longing to have a different relationship with your family?  Sometimes, it seems that nothing will ever change. But, you have the ability to change EVERYTHING. By making a few adjustments in how YOU deal with your past, you will liberate your family to a new way of being! Watch this video for a quick, powerful list of 5…

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Healing from a Broken Heart

By | Coping, Counseling, Toxic Relationships | No Comments

Just about all of us have experienced heartbreak.  We can literally feel the pain in our heart when someone breaks up with us.  How can we get over this pain and move on?  Here are 5 steps towards healing from a broken heart. Feel your feelings; don’t avoid them by going quickly into another relationship or drugs or alcohol.  Avoidance will only belabor your anguish.  Slow down and spend time feeling what you are experiencing.  Cry if you need to;…

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3 Ways Caring Relationships Can Help a Trauma Survivor

By | Coping, Counseling, Healing, Love, Mind/Body Health, Relationships, Toxic Relationships | One Comment

Newborns and young babies depend on their caretakers to regulate their emotions until their brain is sufficiently developed to be able to regulate more on their own.  When a person goes through a trauma, there is cortisol shooting through the person’s system and is it difficult to regulate feelings and like the newborn can benefit greatly from supportive caring interpersonal relationships.  One of the most accepted and researched psychological theories is attachment theory which basically states that the primary motivation…

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Toxic Relationship: Couple Quarreling

Verbal Abuse Can Be Subtle and Traumatic

By | Coping, Counseling, Dysfunctional Family, Healing, Relationships, Toxic Relationships | 8 Comments

This article will be written as if the males are the abusers and the females are the victims, which is true according to research the majority of the time.  However, if you are a male that is the victim or a female who is the perpetrator, please just swap the pronouns in your head. It is easy to understand that sexual and physical abuse can be traumatic.   It is also easy to understand that severe verbal abuse (i.e.-yelling, name calling)…

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How Childhood Trauma Can Ruin Your Current Relationship and How to Heal So It Doesn’t

By | Coping, Healing, Long Hot Marriage, Love, Love advice, Marriage Advice, Relationships, Toxic Relationships | 3 Comments

As a therapist, I deal with couples that are having challenges in their relationship.  As a professor at the USC School of Social Work, I teach graduate students the relationship between early developmental childhood trauma and the emotional, behavioral and cognitive symptoms that clients present when they come see the student interns for therapy.  One of the things I teach my students is that the brain develops in the first few years of life to adapt to the family who…

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