A Successful Couple Who Healed from Sex Addiction

By | Addiction, Fear of Intimacy, Infidelity, Pornography, Sexual Addiction, Sexual Trauma, Trauma | No Comments

Tom and Mary (not their real names) came to me because Mary found Tom’s sent emails to several online “solicitors.” He had not acted on them but he had admitted to checking out Internet prostitution sites over the last three years.  Mary caught him doing porn many times and was angry about how often he seemed to do it and the lack of initiating sex with her.  In our first session, he embarrassingly said that he probably looked at porn…

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Treatment of Sexual Addiction

Treatment of Sexual Addiction

By | Addiction, Infidelity, Pornography, Sexual Addiction, Sexual Trauma, Trauma, Treatment of Sexual Addiction | No Comments

I am going to be using the blog from 2 weeks ago- 5 Possible Causes of Sex Addiction to briefly discuss treatment approaches for this problem depending on the corresponding possible cause. As with many other “diagnoses,” there can be multiple factors that could lead to someone being sexually addicted. Here are five possible causes that I have observed in my clinical work: 1)   There was early sexual, emotional or physical trauma in the addicted person’s early life. Victims of…

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Five Possible Causes of Sexual Addiction

Five Possible Causes of Sexual Addiction

By | Molestation, Pornography, Sexual abuse, Sexual Addiction, Sexual Trauma | No Comments

As with many other “diagnoses,” there can be multiple factors that could lead to someone being sexually addicted.  Here are five possible causes that I have observed in my clinical work: 1)   These was early sexual, emotional or physical trauma in the addicted person’s early life.  Victims of trauma adapt psychologically and neurobiologically to trauma in ways that help the person cope with the overwhelming feelings of trauma but can lead to maladaptive behaviors.  In other words, in the service…

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How to Increase Orgasmic Potential in Women

How to Increase Orgasmic Potential in Women

By | Arousal, Communication, EMDR, Female orgasmic disorder, Intimacy, Marital Advice, Sexual Desire, Sexual Dysfunction, Sexual Trauma | No Comments

Orgasms are wonderful to experience and I will be writing about ways to maximize the chances of having one (or multiple).  But first- let’s be clear.  Putting too much emphasis on the end result of most things takes away the pleasure of the process.  This is exponentially true when it comes to enjoying our sexual selves.  And the truth is for some people; they cannot experience orgasm no matter what they do.  So, if you are one of those people,…

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How to help your partner heal from sexual trauma

How to Help Your Partner Heal from Sexual Trauma

By | Communication, Counseling, Healing, Healing from Sexual Trauma, Molestation, Rape, Sexual abuse, Sexual Trauma, Trauma | No Comments

A few days ago, I wrote about 7 different touching exercises couples can do together to help one or both heal from sexual trauma.  Here are five important things a partner can do to help the sexual trauma victim heal. Get educated.  Read articles and maybe even go to a sexual trauma expert to learn about how sexual trauma affects people. Encourage your partner to see a qualified therapist if he or she is not seeing one already. Be willing…

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7 Tips to Associate Touch with Love and Safety

Re-learning Touch: 7 Tips to Associate Touch with Love and Safety

By | Counseling, Healing, Healing from Sexual Trauma, Rape, Sexual Trauma, Trauma | No Comments

Victims of sexual trauma have learned to associate touch with shame, feeling out of control and danger. They are often left feeling as if they are bad and unlovable; all due to the way a victim will cope with the overwhelming pain of the experience. As victims and partners are educated on the psychological and sexual effects of sexual trauma, this understanding can motivate couples to engage in touching exercises designed to shift the negative associations to positive. These touch…

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Healing from sexual trauma

Healing from Sexual Trauma

By | Counseling, Dysfunctional Family, EMDR, Healing, Healing from Sexual Trauma, Rape, Sexual abuse, Sexual Desire, Sexual Trauma, Trauma | No Comments

Many clients come to see me because of symptoms due to either molest, rape or other sexual trauma.  Two weeks ago, I talked about types of sexual trauma and last week I talked about how sexual trauma can affect sexuality.  This article, though brief will succinctly describe some of the things I do and recommend to help people heal from sexual trauma.  Here are 7 keys to healing from sexual trauma: 1)   Relationships are very important.  Having loved ones, or…

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How Sexual Trauma can Affect Sexuality

How Sexual Trauma can Affect Sexuality

By | Healing, Healing from Sexual Trauma, Pornography, Rape, Relationships, Sex, Sexual abuse, Sexual Dysfunction, Sexual Problem, Sexual Trauma, Trauma | No Comments

Trauma is an experience somebody has that is deeply distressing or disturbing.  Sexual trauma is particularly distressing because of the sense of powerlessness and betrayal that the victim feels.  Often, the perpetrator, whether it is childhood molest or adult rape is someone the victim knows well. Some victims where the trauma was once or a few times (of course one is one too many!), may not develop Post Traumatic Stress Disorder particularly if the victim has a good support system,…

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5 Types of Sexual Trauma

5 Types of Sexual Trauma

By | Healing, Healing from Sexual Trauma, Pornography, Rape, Sex, Sexual abuse, Sexual Dysfunction, Sexual Problem, Sexual Trauma | No Comments

This month I am writing about sexual trauma and how it affects sexuality as an adult.  I will be covering types of sexual trauma, how it affects sexuality, effective treatment approaches and how partners of sexual traumas can be part of the healing.   Sexual trauma occurs when sex is non-consensual and/or coercive.  To adults need to both choose and consent to the sexual act.  When adults are being sexual with children, it is always non-consensual since the child is not…

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What to Do About Premature Ejaculation

What to Do About Premature Ejaculation: Possibly Nothing?

By | Communication, Sex, Sexual Desire, Sexual Dysfunction, Sexual Problem, Sexual Trauma | No Comments

Premature ejaculation was described in medical books almost 100 years ago.   In the past, men who had this problem were considered weak or selfish.  This could not be further from the truth according to all the latest research.  Whereas the main past theories of what causes this issue were psychological, more recently, the research clearly points to more biological reasons.  For example, variances in central neurotransmission and serotonin receptor functioning are contributors to how long a person can delay ejaculation…

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