Creating a Passionate Marriage

Creating a Passionate Marriage

By | Communication, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage, Sexual Dysfunction | No Comments

I love writing about this stuff! I just celebrated with my wife our 33rd wedding anniversary this past Saturday and I enjoy the creative process of keeping things alive and fresh in my own marriage.   Yes, passionate marriages are created; created by paying attention to each other, courageously communicating and doing new things and also keeping yourself interesting.   The only way to keep yourself interesting is to lean beyond your edge.   Your edge (as David Deida says…

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The Five Biggest Blocks to Intimacy

The Five Biggest Blocks to Intimacy

By | Communication, Intimacy, Passion, Sex, Sexual Dysfunction, Sexy Marriage | No Comments

Intimacy is about feeling close to your partner.  It is about feeling safe enough to be vulnerable.  It is about having an interpersonal adventure by trying new things together in and out of the bedroom.   In this article, I write about the five main obstacles that prevent many couples from enjoying the deep pleasure of depth and feeling genuinely bonded.   If you have one or more of these obstacles happening in your relationship, just remember that I assist…

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Sex Addiction or High Libido_What is the Difference

Sex Addiction or High Libido: What is the Difference?

By | Infidelity, Libido, Sex, Sex Drive, Sexual Addiction, Sexual Dysfunction | No Comments

I am going to get a little personal here. I like sex; I may be under some illusion but after being married for almost 33 years, my sexual response is about the same as when I was far younger. I like that I like sex and I could say that my wife likes that I like sex as well. One of my main areas of clinical expertise is helping people with low sexual desire, and I have had both men…

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3 More Signs You Came from a Dysfunctional Family

By | Dysfunctional Family, Marriage, Marriage Advice, Sexual Dysfunction, Toxic Relationships, Trauma | No Comments

Two years ago, I came out with a video blog- Seven Signs You Came From a Dysfunctional Family. Apparently, it has resonated with many people as indicated by the high number of views. Feel free to watch it here.  I want to add three more “signs” to the list because we tend to blame ourselves or our partner for things that may have been patterns we learned in our family of origin. This month I will be writing and talking…

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How to Increase Orgasmic Potential in Women

How to Increase Orgasmic Potential in Women

By | Arousal, Communication, EMDR, Female orgasmic disorder, Intimacy, Marital Advice, Sexual Desire, Sexual Dysfunction, Sexual Trauma | No Comments

Orgasms are wonderful to experience and I will be writing about ways to maximize the chances of having one (or multiple).  But first- let’s be clear.  Putting too much emphasis on the end result of most things takes away the pleasure of the process.  This is exponentially true when it comes to enjoying our sexual selves.  And the truth is for some people; they cannot experience orgasm no matter what they do.  So, if you are one of those people,…

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Orgasmic Issues in Women

Orgasmic Issues in Women

By | Arousal, Communication, Eroticism, Female orgasmic disorder, Intimacy, Passion, Sex, Sexual Dysfunction | No Comments

I have worked with many women and couples where the female is having trouble experiencing orgasms.   There are a lot of myths and false information.  As you will see below, physiological, emotional, and relational factors can all contribute to the problem.  However, as we are discovering in many aspects of sexuality, there is no real “normal,” and woman and their partners need to be careful not to be critical of the woman having orgasmic difficulties. Here are ten facts about Female…

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Increasing Female Sexual Arousal and Desire

Increasing Female Sexual Arousal and Desire

By | Arousal, Eroticism, Great Sex, Intimacy, Marriage Advice, Passion, Sensuality, Sex, Sexual Desire, Sexual Dysfunction | No Comments

This month I am writing about women and sexuality.  It is a big and important topic and I will cover one part of it with each blog.  I have seen many women come into my office with or without their partner concerned about their lack of interest regarding sex.  The first thing I want to say about this is that the most recent Diagnostic Manual for those of us in the mental health field has combined female arousal and desire/interest…

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How Sexual Trauma can Affect Sexuality

How Sexual Trauma can Affect Sexuality

By | Healing, Healing from Sexual Trauma, Pornography, Rape, Relationships, Sex, Sexual abuse, Sexual Dysfunction, Sexual Problem, Sexual Trauma, Trauma | No Comments

Trauma is an experience somebody has that is deeply distressing or disturbing.  Sexual trauma is particularly distressing because of the sense of powerlessness and betrayal that the victim feels.  Often, the perpetrator, whether it is childhood molest or adult rape is someone the victim knows well. Some victims where the trauma was once or a few times (of course one is one too many!), may not develop Post Traumatic Stress Disorder particularly if the victim has a good support system,…

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5 Types of Sexual Trauma

5 Types of Sexual Trauma

By | Healing, Healing from Sexual Trauma, Pornography, Rape, Sex, Sexual abuse, Sexual Dysfunction, Sexual Problem, Sexual Trauma | No Comments

This month I am writing about sexual trauma and how it affects sexuality as an adult.  I will be covering types of sexual trauma, how it affects sexuality, effective treatment approaches and how partners of sexual traumas can be part of the healing.   Sexual trauma occurs when sex is non-consensual and/or coercive.  To adults need to both choose and consent to the sexual act.  When adults are being sexual with children, it is always non-consensual since the child is not…

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What to Do About Premature Ejaculation

What to Do About Premature Ejaculation: Possibly Nothing?

By | Communication, Sex, Sexual Desire, Sexual Dysfunction, Sexual Problem, Sexual Trauma | No Comments

Premature ejaculation was described in medical books almost 100 years ago.   In the past, men who had this problem were considered weak or selfish.  This could not be further from the truth according to all the latest research.  Whereas the main past theories of what causes this issue were psychological, more recently, the research clearly points to more biological reasons.  For example, variances in central neurotransmission and serotonin receptor functioning are contributors to how long a person can delay ejaculation…

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