5 Types of Sexual Trauma

5 Types of Sexual Trauma

By | Healing, Healing from Sexual Trauma, Pornography, Rape, Sex, Sexual abuse, Sexual Dysfunction, Sexual Problem, Sexual Trauma | No Comments

This month I am writing about sexual trauma and how it affects sexuality as an adult.  I will be covering types of sexual trauma, how it affects sexuality, effective treatment approaches and how partners of sexual traumas can be part of the healing.   Sexual trauma occurs when sex is non-consensual and/or coercive.  To adults need to both choose and consent to the sexual act.  When adults are being sexual with children, it is always non-consensual since the child is not…

Read More
Five Keys to Restoring Trust After Infidelity

Five Keys to Restoring Trust After Infidelity

By | Commitment, Communication, Infidelity, Marital Advice, Marriage Advice, Relationships, Sex | No Comments

1)   Get therapy with a reputable expert in infidelity and discover the factors (not excuses) that led to the affair so that alternative healthier solutions can be practiced. 2)   Look for behavioral change  (depending on whatever was discovered as to what was behind the secretive actions) in the relationship that lets you know that something different is truly happening and that there is reason to take a chance on your partner again. 3)   Whenever there is a “risky” situation such as…

Read More
If You Want to Cheat, Just Tell Your Partner First!

If You Want to Cheat, Just Tell Your Partner First!

By | Commitment, Communication, Infidelity, Long Hot Marriage, Marital Problems, Marriage, Relationships, Sex | No Comments

A True Story Let me tell you about a couple who saw me for relationship issues but avoided the more damaging issue of infidelity.  This is their (abridged) story. They had their second child and the kids were less than 2 years apart.  The husband was frustrated with the lack of sex and intimacy.  She was exhausted a lot and the last thing on her mind was having sexual pleasure.  She just needed to get through another day.  They both…

Read More
Infidelity is an Interpersonal Crime!

Infidelity is an Interpersonal Crime!

By | Commitment, Communication, Infidelity, Intimacy, Love, Marital Advice, Marital Problems, Marriage Advice, Marriage Problems, Relationships, Sex, Toxic Relationships | 3 Comments

One of the more common things I do is help couples who have experienced infidelity survive and even thrive.  As I have said before, the great majority of these couples are successful in treatment.  However, I am clear on one thing- cheating and all the secrecy and deception that goes with it steals from the betrayed partner.  It steals a very important right- the right to have information in order to make a good decision.  You cannot make a good…

Read More
Communicating Your Kink With Your Partner

Communicating Your Kink With Your Partner

By | Commitment, Communication, Intimacy, Marriage Advice, Passion, Relationships, Romance, Sex, Successful Marriages | No Comments

Intimate partners often have unspoken rules of what can be expressed and what cannot be expressed. As author of the book, The Long Hot Marriage, I am passionate about helping long-term couples have alive and passionate relationships. One way to do that is to use the committed relationship to explore your “less conventional” sides of yourself, particularly your unconventional sexual desires. I am so thankful that this society is showing signs of opening up sexually and not being so quick…

Read More

[VIDEO] How Great Communication Leads to Great Sex

By | Communication, Creating More Passion in Marriage, Great Sex, Sex | No Comments

It's a fact...great communication leads to great sex. This is true for BOTH men and women. Being able to express yourself in your relationship is the biggest aphrodisiac of all. Watch this short video where I talk about how communicating with intensity correctly will jump-start the passion in your intimate relationship Not only do I give you tips on how to communicate with intensity... I share more proven communication tips that will have your partner looking at you in a...

Read More
What to Do About Premature Ejaculation

What to Do About Premature Ejaculation: Possibly Nothing?

By | Communication, Sex, Sexual Desire, Sexual Dysfunction, Sexual Problem, Sexual Trauma | No Comments

Premature ejaculation was described in medical books almost 100 years ago.   In the past, men who had this problem were considered weak or selfish.  This could not be further from the truth according to all the latest research.  Whereas the main past theories of what causes this issue were psychological, more recently, the research clearly points to more biological reasons.  For example, variances in central neurotransmission and serotonin receptor functioning are contributors to how long a person can delay ejaculation…

Read More
When One Spouse Feels Like the Parent

When One Spouse Feels Like the Parent and the Other Feels Like the Child

By | Low sexual desire, Relationships, Sex, Sexual Desire, Sexual Dysfunction, Sexual Problem | No Comments

How It Affects Sexual Desire In just about every couple I help, there is a father/daughter or mother/child pattern that has manifested.  In other words, much of the time, one of the spouses feels more like a parent; a person who has to manage, restrict or compensate for the other person.  I hear these people say statements such as- “I feel like I have another child” “I think of everyone and he (or she) only thinks of him (or herself.”…

Read More
Female Orgasmic Disorder

Female Orgasmic Disorder

By | Communication, Love, Low sexual desire, Passion, Sex, Sexual Trauma | 2 Comments

Yes, this is what it is called in the DSM 5, the most recent reference guide that therapists use to diagnose different types of mental and emotional issues.  However, is it a disorder?  The problem with this kind of language is that it leads to more of a woman feeling inadequate if she has this problem or “disorder.”  The truth is that there are many possible factors whether they are physical, emotional or relational that can contribute to blocks to…

Read More

4 Common Causes of Low Sexual Desire

By | Great Sex, Low sexual desire, Marriage Problems, Sex | No Comments

In this short video I talk about low desire and the 4 most common causes I see in my practice. Yes, there is hope and help  - sometimes it is an easy straightforward fix and sometimes it requires a combination of tactics to resolve. Watch the video and find out what the 4 most common causes are.   I've even got a few tips to help you out. Want More Passion? Get Todd's Audio:  Secrets to a Sexy Marriage Free...

Read More