Increasing Female Sexual Arousal and Desire

Increasing Female Sexual Arousal and Desire

By | Arousal, Eroticism, Great Sex, Intimacy, Marriage Advice, Passion, Sensuality, Sex, Sexual Desire, Sexual Dysfunction | No Comments

This month I am writing about women and sexuality.  It is a big and important topic and I will cover one part of it with each blog.  I have seen many women come into my office with or without their partner concerned about their lack of interest regarding sex.  The first thing I want to say about this is that the most recent Diagnostic Manual for those of us in the mental health field has combined female arousal and desire/interest…

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Talking Dirty

Talking Dirty

By | Eroticism, Great Sex, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage, Love, Love advice, Marital Advice, Passion, Relationships, Romance, Sensuality, Sex, Sexual Desire, Sexy Marriage | No Comments

Another Channel to Increase Eroticism with Your Partner “Talking dirty” is a kind of sex play involving sensual or sexual statements or questions in order to arouse your partner or yourself through words and imagination, and heighten sexual pleasure before and during sex. Using dirty talk can stimulate your partner’s major senses: sound, sight and touch. Lovers use dirty talk as a way of expressing their wants and needs in the heat of the moment. Talking dirty to your partner…

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My 3 best tips for Increasing Eroticism in Your Intimate Relationship

My 3 best tips (at least for now) for Increasing Eroticism in Your Intimate Relationship

By | Commitment, Eroticism, Great Sex, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage, Love, Marital Advice, Passion, Relationships, Romance, Sensuality, Sex, Sexual Desire, Sexy Marriage, Successful Marriages | No Comments

1. Think about sex more even if you usually don’t.  Spend a minute or less every hour of your workday  (or time when you and your partner are apart) thinking of what you can do with him or what he can do for you.   (That’s all it takes). Imagine your sexiest self- what are you wearing, what are you saying, what are you doing?  Remember- your brain is your sex organ- Use it! 2. Take your focus off having an orgasm….

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Importance of Playfulness in Your Relationships

By | Commitment, Communication, Creating More Passion in Marriage, Great Sex, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage, Love, Marital Advice, Marriage Advice, Passion, Relationships, Romance, Sex, Sexy Marriage | No Comments

I want to talk to you about the importance of being playful in your intimate relationships Remember back when you began your courtship?  I’ll bet you were more playful, romantic and maybe a bit silly…am I right? Then you became committed and maybe got married, bought a house and/or had kids…right? At some point you became functional and lost the element of surprise and delight in your relationship. We all need to get back the playfulness in our relationships.  In…

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Letting Go of Guilt About Your Sexuality

Letting Go of Guilt About Your Sexuality, Learning to Trust Your Desire

By | Commitment, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage, Marital Advice, Passion, Relationships, Romance, Sex, Sexual Desire | No Comments

Believe it or not, we still live in a relatively Puritanical society.  It is a society that still contains many taboos about sex.  Going even beyond sex, many of us learned to distrust desires of all kinds if it did not fit the idea of what a parent, authority figure or even culture felt we should desire.  That could be about sex, about a career, about a passion for a hobby, etc.  So our deeper sexual desires and other pursuits…

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How Sexual Trauma can Affect Sexuality

How Sexual Trauma can Affect Sexuality

By | Healing, Healing from Sexual Trauma, Pornography, Rape, Relationships, Sex, Sexual abuse, Sexual Dysfunction, Sexual Problem, Sexual Trauma, Trauma | No Comments

Trauma is an experience somebody has that is deeply distressing or disturbing.  Sexual trauma is particularly distressing because of the sense of powerlessness and betrayal that the victim feels.  Often, the perpetrator, whether it is childhood molest or adult rape is someone the victim knows well. Some victims where the trauma was once or a few times (of course one is one too many!), may not develop Post Traumatic Stress Disorder particularly if the victim has a good support system,…

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5 Types of Sexual Trauma

5 Types of Sexual Trauma

By | Healing, Healing from Sexual Trauma, Pornography, Rape, Sex, Sexual abuse, Sexual Dysfunction, Sexual Problem, Sexual Trauma | No Comments

This month I am writing about sexual trauma and how it affects sexuality as an adult.  I will be covering types of sexual trauma, how it affects sexuality, effective treatment approaches and how partners of sexual traumas can be part of the healing.   Sexual trauma occurs when sex is non-consensual and/or coercive.  To adults need to both choose and consent to the sexual act.  When adults are being sexual with children, it is always non-consensual since the child is not…

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Five Keys to Restoring Trust After Infidelity

Five Keys to Restoring Trust After Infidelity

By | Commitment, Communication, Infidelity, Marital Advice, Marriage Advice, Relationships, Sex | No Comments

1)   Get therapy with a reputable expert in infidelity and discover the factors (not excuses) that led to the affair so that alternative healthier solutions can be practiced. 2)   Look for behavioral change  (depending on whatever was discovered as to what was behind the secretive actions) in the relationship that lets you know that something different is truly happening and that there is reason to take a chance on your partner again. 3)   Whenever there is a “risky” situation such as…

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If You Want to Cheat, Just Tell Your Partner First!

If You Want to Cheat, Just Tell Your Partner First!

By | Commitment, Communication, Infidelity, Long Hot Marriage, Marital Problems, Marriage, Relationships, Sex | No Comments

A True Story Let me tell you about a couple who saw me for relationship issues but avoided the more damaging issue of infidelity.  This is their (abridged) story. They had their second child and the kids were less than 2 years apart.  The husband was frustrated with the lack of sex and intimacy.  She was exhausted a lot and the last thing on her mind was having sexual pleasure.  She just needed to get through another day.  They both…

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Infidelity is an Interpersonal Crime!

Infidelity is an Interpersonal Crime!

By | Commitment, Communication, Infidelity, Intimacy, Love, Marital Advice, Marital Problems, Marriage Advice, Marriage Problems, Relationships, Sex, Toxic Relationships | 3 Comments

One of the more common things I do is help couples who have experienced infidelity survive and even thrive.  As I have said before, the great majority of these couples are successful in treatment.  However, I am clear on one thing- cheating and all the secrecy and deception that goes with it steals from the betrayed partner.  It steals a very important right- the right to have information in order to make a good decision.  You cannot make a good…

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