Five Keys to Restoring Trust After Infidelity

Five Keys to Restoring Trust After Infidelity

By | Commitment, Communication, Infidelity, Marital Advice, Marriage Advice, Relationships, Sex | No Comments

1)   Get therapy with a reputable expert in infidelity and discover the factors (not excuses) that led to the affair so that alternative healthier solutions can be practiced. 2)   Look for behavioral change  (depending on whatever was discovered as to what was behind the secretive actions) in the relationship that lets you know that something different is truly happening and that there is reason to take a chance on your partner again. 3)   Whenever there is a “risky” situation such as…

Read More
If You Want to Cheat, Just Tell Your Partner First!

If You Want to Cheat, Just Tell Your Partner First!

By | Commitment, Communication, Infidelity, Long Hot Marriage, Marital Problems, Marriage, Relationships, Sex | No Comments

A True Story Let me tell you about a couple who saw me for relationship issues but avoided the more damaging issue of infidelity.  This is their (abridged) story. They had their second child and the kids were less than 2 years apart.  The husband was frustrated with the lack of sex and intimacy.  She was exhausted a lot and the last thing on her mind was having sexual pleasure.  She just needed to get through another day.  They both…

Read More
Infidelity is an Interpersonal Crime!

Infidelity is an Interpersonal Crime!

By | Commitment, Communication, Infidelity, Intimacy, Love, Marital Advice, Marital Problems, Marriage Advice, Marriage Problems, Relationships, Sex, Toxic Relationships | 3 Comments

One of the more common things I do is help couples who have experienced infidelity survive and even thrive.  As I have said before, the great majority of these couples are successful in treatment.  However, I am clear on one thing- cheating and all the secrecy and deception that goes with it steals from the betrayed partner.  It steals a very important right- the right to have information in order to make a good decision.  You cannot make a good…

Read More
Your Face Reminds Me of My Mother

Your Face Reminds Me of My Mother and other compliments

By | Communication, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage, Love, Love advice, Marital Advice, Marriage, Passion, Relationships, Romance, Sexy Marriage | No Comments

Compliments like what is in the title of this article may not exactly be what your partner would want to hear, especially if it is the wife saying it to her husband. However, I wanted you to read this important information that is instrumental to a happy intimate relationship, so I wanted to get your attention. John and Julie Gottman, wonderful marriage researchers and therapists have studied couples for over 3 decades and have come up with a number of…

Read More
Communicating Your Kink With Your Partner

Communicating Your Kink With Your Partner

By | Commitment, Communication, Intimacy, Marriage Advice, Passion, Relationships, Romance, Sex, Successful Marriages | No Comments

Intimate partners often have unspoken rules of what can be expressed and what cannot be expressed. As author of the book, The Long Hot Marriage, I am passionate about helping long-term couples have alive and passionate relationships. One way to do that is to use the committed relationship to explore your “less conventional” sides of yourself, particularly your unconventional sexual desires. I am so thankful that this society is showing signs of opening up sexually and not being so quick…

Read More
When One Spouse Feels Like the Parent

When One Spouse Feels Like the Parent and the Other Feels Like the Child

By | Low sexual desire, Relationships, Sex, Sexual Desire, Sexual Dysfunction, Sexual Problem | No Comments

How It Affects Sexual Desire In just about every couple I help, there is a father/daughter or mother/child pattern that has manifested.  In other words, much of the time, one of the spouses feels more like a parent; a person who has to manage, restrict or compensate for the other person.  I hear these people say statements such as- “I feel like I have another child” “I think of everyone and he (or she) only thinks of him (or herself.”…

Read More
Problems with Low Sexual Desire

Problems with Low Sexual Desire

By | Long Hot Marriage, Low sexual desire, Marital Advice, Marital Problems, Marriage Advice, Relationships, Romance, Sex | No Comments

I have helped many people who have had less libido than they or their partner wanted. My video coming out later this month will discuss this in more detail. I will also be writing an article that goes into relationship dynamics that contribute to sexual desire issues in more detail. There can be a variety of factors that can cause someone to have less sexual interest including: 1) Hormonal influences 2) Medication Side Effects 3) Childhood or adult trauma especially…

Read More
Hot Monogamy- 3 Surefire Ways to Spark Your Relationship

Hot Monogamy – 3 Surefire Ways to Spark Your Relationship

By | Commitment, Creating More Passion in Marriage, Family Relationships, Great Sex, Long Hot Marriage, Marital Advice, Marriage Advice, Passion, Relationships, Romance, Sexy | No Comments

When I wrote my book, “The Long Hot Marriage,” my brother exclaimed- “Oh, you wrote a fairy tale!”  It was a funny line but let me tell you something- The Long Hot Marriage is no fairy tale!  Hot monogamy is a reality and here are 3 ways to make sure you experience this wonderful gift of a long, passionate relationship: 1)   Dare to leave your comfort zone often.  Your ancestors basically did not do this with their partners.  Take a…

Read More
3 Ways Practicing Kindness Leads to Better Sex

3 Ways Practicing Kindness Leads to Better Sex

By | Commitment, Great Sex, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage, Love, Marital Advice, Marriage Advice, Passion, Relationships, Romance | No Comments

When you read the word “kind”, what sensations or feelings come up for you?  For me, there is a softening of my muscles, and ease in my body.  There is a slowing down of some sort.  For some people in our lives, it may be easy to practice kindness but unfortunately, it is often most difficult with our long-term partner.  It is easy to have automatic resentment or focus on where our partner is NOT meeting our needs.  Or we…

Read More
3 Daily Rituals that will Keep the Passion in Your Marriage

3 Daily Rituals that will Keep the Passion in Your Marriage

By | Committment, Communication, Creating More Passion in Marriage, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage, Love, Marriage, Marriage Advice, Passion, Relationships, Romance | No Comments

Weddings, Bar and Bat Mitzvahs and funerals are rituals that make us slow down and have deeper, more profound life experiences. These rituals help us celebrate the good times and deal and heal from the bad times.  In marriage, we also need rituals to deal with the good and bad times and these rituals will keep as well as increase the passion and aliveness in your intimate relationship.  The rituals I am about to discuss are best done on a…

Read More