How Sexual Trauma can Affect Sexuality

How Sexual Trauma can Affect Sexuality

By | Healing, Healing from Sexual Trauma, Pornography, Rape, Relationships, Sex, Sexual abuse, Sexual Dysfunction, Sexual Problem, Sexual Trauma, Trauma | No Comments

Trauma is an experience somebody has that is deeply distressing or disturbing.  Sexual trauma is particularly distressing because of the sense of powerlessness and betrayal that the victim feels.  Often, the perpetrator, whether it is childhood molest or adult rape is someone the victim knows well. Some victims where the trauma was once or a few times (of course one is one too many!), may not develop Post Traumatic Stress Disorder particularly if the victim has a good support system,…

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5 Types of Sexual Trauma

5 Types of Sexual Trauma

By | Healing, Healing from Sexual Trauma, Pornography, Rape, Sex, Sexual abuse, Sexual Dysfunction, Sexual Problem, Sexual Trauma | No Comments

This month I am writing about sexual trauma and how it affects sexuality as an adult.  I will be covering types of sexual trauma, how it affects sexuality, effective treatment approaches and how partners of sexual traumas can be part of the healing.   Sexual trauma occurs when sex is non-consensual and/or coercive.  To adults need to both choose and consent to the sexual act.  When adults are being sexual with children, it is always non-consensual since the child is not…

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How Porn Really Affects Relationships

By | Creating More Passion in Marriage, Dysfunctional Family, Great Sex, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage, Marital Problems, Marriage, Marriage Advice, Marriage Problems, Pornography, Relationships, Sex, Successful Marriages, Toxic Relationships | One Comment

This is my last piece on porn for this month’s theme.  I am a marriage and sex therapist, as you know.  I am open-minded, relatively liberal when it comes to sexual matters and I live very much in the gray.  But I work with people daily who are having relationship challenges.  When porn is being viewed regularly, it becomes a negative force the great majority of the time.  When it comes down to it, porn just does not seem worth…

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Five Ways to Keep Porn from Damaging Your Relationship

By | Communication, Creating More Passion in Marriage, Great Sex, Long Hot Marriage, Love, Love advice, Marital Advice, Marital Problems, Marriage, Marriage Advice, Marriage Problems, Pornography, Relationships, Sex, Sexy, Successful Marriages, Toxic Relationships | One Comment

Those of you that are reading my blogs regularly can see that in the month of April, I am writing about porn and its affect on relationships. It is a “juicy” topic that evokes a lot of reactions in people. Today, I will list the 5 ways to keep porn from damaging your relationship. First, I want to include much of what I wrote in last week’s blog as a prelude to my list. I am a sex therapist. I…

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How to Porn-Proof Your Marriage

By | Committment, Communication, Conflict Resolution, Coping, Intimacy, Love, Love advice, Marital Problems, Marriage, Marriage Advice, Marriage Problems, Pornography, Successful Marriages, Toxic Relationships | One Comment

My attitudes have changed through time about porn.  I would never say I am “anti-porn” but I would say I am against a porn-centered sexuality for anybody. So, even though I do not take an extreme position on this subject, I like where my heart and mind is going regarding this challenging area of life.  This comes from years of experience with couples as well as my own relationship. I am a sex therapist. I do not believe that we…

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Is Watching Porn in a Relationship Really Considered Cheating?

By | Infidelity, Intimacy, Love advice, Marital Advice, Marital Problems, Marriage, Pornography, Toxic Relationships | 10 Comments

Cheating involves putting intimate energy into another person. Being physically present with someone outside of the committed relationship is one way of putting intimate energy into another whether it is emotional or physical intimacy ( or both). Also, texting, emailing, phoning, chatting on the web and soliciting on the web with live people are all ways of interacting with others that betray the committed relationship. A secret is always involved when it comes to cheating. Porn often is done in…

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