Honoring Your Fantasies and Your Committed Relationship

Honoring Your Fantasies and Your Committed Relationship

By | Creating More Passion in Marriage, Healthy Marriage, Long Hot Marriage, Love advice, Marriage Advice, Passion, Romance, Sensuality, Sex, Sexual Desire | No Comments

I am a marriage and sex therapist.  We all have fantasies…that’s a normal part of being human.  Today’s article is all about honoring your fantasies and your committed relationship…yes, that’s possible so please read on. In my practice and in society in general I see far to many people are getting divorced and too many people are being unfaithful.   My main purposes in life besides helping couples heal is to help prevent these problems. The reasons for these problems are multiple and…

Read More
The Five Biggest Blocks to Intimacy

The Five Biggest Blocks to Intimacy

By | Communication, Intimacy, Passion, Sex, Sexual Dysfunction, Sexy Marriage | No Comments

Intimacy is about feeling close to your partner.  It is about feeling safe enough to be vulnerable.  It is about having an interpersonal adventure by trying new things together in and out of the bedroom.   In this article, I write about the five main obstacles that prevent many couples from enjoying the deep pleasure of depth and feeling genuinely bonded.   If you have one or more of these obstacles happening in your relationship, just remember that I assist…

Read More
Creating the Long Hot Marriage

Creating the Long Hot Marriage: 10 Tips Your Parents Never Taught You

By | Commitment, Communication, Long Hot Marriage, Love, Marital Advice, Passion, Romance, Successful Marriages | No Comments

1) Your once hot marriage will probably cool off; that is normal and that is not really a problem. 2) Once your marriage cools off, there are most definitely things you can do to fan those embers and get it hot again. 3) Think about what you used to do that created passion in your relationship and do it again whether you feel like it or not. 4) Yes, in order for passion to be recreated, you need to do romantic and sexy gestures…

Read More
The Link Between Emotional Pain and Romance

I’m So Mad! Let’s Kiss!: The Link Between Emotional Pain and Romance

By | Commitment, Communication, Intimacy, Love advice, Marital Advice, Marriage Advice, Passion, Romance, Successful Marriages | No Comments

It is easy to be romantic in the beginning of relationships where our focus is on the pleasure and the positives.  But when the relationship continues, we get annoyed, hurt, frustrated and angry with our partner at times.  And we are supposed to be romantic anyway? Yes – pain is inevitable and pain is not the block to romance.  The block to romance happens when we let the pain disconnect us.  Our role models (mainly parents and grandparents) were not…

Read More
Orgasmic Issues in Women

Orgasmic Issues in Women

By | Arousal, Communication, Eroticism, Female orgasmic disorder, Intimacy, Passion, Sex, Sexual Dysfunction | No Comments

I have worked with many women and couples where the female is having trouble experiencing orgasms.   There are a lot of myths and false information.  As you will see below, physiological, emotional, and relational factors can all contribute to the problem.  However, as we are discovering in many aspects of sexuality, there is no real “normal,” and woman and their partners need to be careful not to be critical of the woman having orgasmic difficulties. Here are ten facts about Female…

Read More
Increasing Female Sexual Arousal and Desire

Increasing Female Sexual Arousal and Desire

By | Arousal, Eroticism, Great Sex, Intimacy, Marriage Advice, Passion, Sensuality, Sex, Sexual Desire, Sexual Dysfunction | No Comments

This month I am writing about women and sexuality.  It is a big and important topic and I will cover one part of it with each blog.  I have seen many women come into my office with or without their partner concerned about their lack of interest regarding sex.  The first thing I want to say about this is that the most recent Diagnostic Manual for those of us in the mental health field has combined female arousal and desire/interest…

Read More
The Link Between Gratitude and Your Sex Life

The Link Between Gratitude and Your Sex Life

By | Creating More Passion in Marriage, Eroticism, Gratitude, Great Sex, Long Hot Marriage, Marital Advice, Passion, Relationships, Sensuality, Thanksgiving | No Comments

What you focus on may determine the quality of your sex life. I want to talk about this from 3 angles: 1) How gratitude affects your sense of psychological well being, 2) How gratitude affects the wellbeing of your partner and 3) how gratitude affects your brain. Then I can do the easy job of linking all that to your sex life. It has been clearly established in the field of mental health that what we think affects how we…

Read More
Talking Dirty

Talking Dirty

By | Eroticism, Great Sex, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage, Love, Love advice, Marital Advice, Passion, Relationships, Romance, Sensuality, Sex, Sexual Desire, Sexy Marriage | No Comments

Another Channel to Increase Eroticism with Your Partner “Talking dirty” is a kind of sex play involving sensual or sexual statements or questions in order to arouse your partner or yourself through words and imagination, and heighten sexual pleasure before and during sex. Using dirty talk can stimulate your partner’s major senses: sound, sight and touch. Lovers use dirty talk as a way of expressing their wants and needs in the heat of the moment. Talking dirty to your partner…

Read More
My 3 best tips for Increasing Eroticism in Your Intimate Relationship

My 3 best tips (at least for now) for Increasing Eroticism in Your Intimate Relationship

By | Commitment, Eroticism, Great Sex, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage, Love, Marital Advice, Passion, Relationships, Romance, Sensuality, Sex, Sexual Desire, Sexy Marriage, Successful Marriages | No Comments

1. Think about sex more even if you usually don’t.  Spend a minute or less every hour of your workday  (or time when you and your partner are apart) thinking of what you can do with him or what he can do for you.   (That’s all it takes). Imagine your sexiest self- what are you wearing, what are you saying, what are you doing?  Remember- your brain is your sex organ- Use it! 2. Take your focus off having an orgasm….

Read More

Importance of Playfulness in Your Relationships

By | Commitment, Communication, Creating More Passion in Marriage, Great Sex, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage, Love, Marital Advice, Marriage Advice, Passion, Relationships, Romance, Sex, Sexy Marriage | No Comments

I want to talk to you about the importance of being playful in your intimate relationships Remember back when you began your courtship?  I’ll bet you were more playful, romantic and maybe a bit silly…am I right? Then you became committed and maybe got married, bought a house and/or had kids…right? At some point you became functional and lost the element of surprise and delight in your relationship. We all need to get back the playfulness in our relationships.  In…

Read More