surviving marital affairs and intimacy issues

Interview: Overcoming a marital affair and intimacy issues

By | Infidelity, Intimacy, Marriage, Marriage Advice, Marriage Problems, Relationships, Romance, Sex | No Comments

I was recently interviewed by The Child Law Help Center about how to build an improved relationship after a marital affair and/or intimacy issues. In it I discuss the two main reasons why couples contact me for help: Lack of intimacy in the relationship Infidelity You'll want to check out the entire article to see what I have to say about the factors leading up to both situations, and my opinion on whether or not I think the relationship can...

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Orgasmic Issues in Women

Orgasmic Issues in Women

By | Arousal, Communication, Eroticism, Female orgasmic disorder, Intimacy, Passion, Sex, Sexual Dysfunction | No Comments

I have worked with many women and couples where the female is having trouble experiencing orgasms.   There are a lot of myths and false information.  As you will see below, physiological, emotional, and relational factors can all contribute to the problem.  However, as we are discovering in many aspects of sexuality, there is no real “normal,” and woman and their partners need to be careful not to be critical of the woman having orgasmic difficulties. Here are ten facts about Female…

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Increasing Female Sexual Arousal and Desire

Increasing Female Sexual Arousal and Desire

By | Arousal, Eroticism, Great Sex, Intimacy, Marriage Advice, Passion, Sensuality, Sex, Sexual Desire, Sexual Dysfunction | No Comments

This month I am writing about women and sexuality.  It is a big and important topic and I will cover one part of it with each blog.  I have seen many women come into my office with or without their partner concerned about their lack of interest regarding sex.  The first thing I want to say about this is that the most recent Diagnostic Manual for those of us in the mental health field has combined female arousal and desire/interest…

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Diffuse Conflict Quickly

Diffuse Conflict Quickly

By | Commitment, Conflict Resolution, Family Relationships, Harmony, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage, Love, Marital Advice, Marriage Advice, Peace, Relationships | No Comments

A Powerful Tool to Go From Conflict to Peace I want to discuss with you one of the most powerful tools I know that can de-escalate conflict.  This tool can be used with your intimate partner as well as in any relationship.  It is particularly useful at this time of the year when underlying conflicts seem to come to the surface.  (I am already seeing it in the phone calls I am getting since last week and continuing this week)….

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Talking Dirty

Talking Dirty

By | Eroticism, Great Sex, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage, Love, Love advice, Marital Advice, Passion, Relationships, Romance, Sensuality, Sex, Sexual Desire, Sexy Marriage | No Comments

Another Channel to Increase Eroticism with Your Partner “Talking dirty” is a kind of sex play involving sensual or sexual statements or questions in order to arouse your partner or yourself through words and imagination, and heighten sexual pleasure before and during sex. Using dirty talk can stimulate your partner’s major senses: sound, sight and touch. Lovers use dirty talk as a way of expressing their wants and needs in the heat of the moment. Talking dirty to your partner…

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My 3 best tips for Increasing Eroticism in Your Intimate Relationship

My 3 best tips (at least for now) for Increasing Eroticism in Your Intimate Relationship

By | Commitment, Eroticism, Great Sex, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage, Love, Marital Advice, Passion, Relationships, Romance, Sensuality, Sex, Sexual Desire, Sexy Marriage, Successful Marriages | No Comments

1. Think about sex more even if you usually don’t.  Spend a minute or less every hour of your workday  (or time when you and your partner are apart) thinking of what you can do with him or what he can do for you.   (That’s all it takes). Imagine your sexiest self- what are you wearing, what are you saying, what are you doing?  Remember- your brain is your sex organ- Use it! 2. Take your focus off having an orgasm….

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Importance of Playfulness in Your Relationships

By | Commitment, Communication, Creating More Passion in Marriage, Great Sex, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage, Love, Marital Advice, Marriage Advice, Passion, Relationships, Romance, Sex, Sexy Marriage | No Comments

I want to talk to you about the importance of being playful in your intimate relationships Remember back when you began your courtship?  I’ll bet you were more playful, romantic and maybe a bit silly…am I right? Then you became committed and maybe got married, bought a house and/or had kids…right? At some point you became functional and lost the element of surprise and delight in your relationship. We all need to get back the playfulness in our relationships.  In…

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Letting Go of Guilt About Your Sexuality

Letting Go of Guilt About Your Sexuality, Learning to Trust Your Desire

By | Commitment, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage, Marital Advice, Passion, Relationships, Romance, Sex, Sexual Desire | No Comments

Believe it or not, we still live in a relatively Puritanical society.  It is a society that still contains many taboos about sex.  Going even beyond sex, many of us learned to distrust desires of all kinds if it did not fit the idea of what a parent, authority figure or even culture felt we should desire.  That could be about sex, about a career, about a passion for a hobby, etc.  So our deeper sexual desires and other pursuits…

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Infidelity is an Interpersonal Crime!

Infidelity is an Interpersonal Crime!

By | Commitment, Communication, Infidelity, Intimacy, Love, Marital Advice, Marital Problems, Marriage Advice, Marriage Problems, Relationships, Sex, Toxic Relationships | 3 Comments

One of the more common things I do is help couples who have experienced infidelity survive and even thrive.  As I have said before, the great majority of these couples are successful in treatment.  However, I am clear on one thing- cheating and all the secrecy and deception that goes with it steals from the betrayed partner.  It steals a very important right- the right to have information in order to make a good decision.  You cannot make a good…

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Your Face Reminds Me of My Mother

Your Face Reminds Me of My Mother and other compliments

By | Communication, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage, Love, Love advice, Marital Advice, Marriage, Passion, Relationships, Romance, Sexy Marriage | No Comments

Compliments like what is in the title of this article may not exactly be what your partner would want to hear, especially if it is the wife saying it to her husband. However, I wanted you to read this important information that is instrumental to a happy intimate relationship, so I wanted to get your attention. John and Julie Gottman, wonderful marriage researchers and therapists have studied couples for over 3 decades and have come up with a number of…

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