Why People Cheat- Another Look at Infidelity

Why People Cheat- Another Look at Infidelity

By | Commitment, Communication, Family Relationships, Infidelity, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage | No Comments

As a professor and psychotherapist, I have learned some things about early childhood development.  Infants and young children do not have the brain apparatus to regulate their emotions so they utilize their caretaker’s brains basically to do the regulation.  For example, the attuned mother can calm an anxious baby with touch or food or changing a wet diaper.  This is called down-regulation meaning that the mother in these examples helps the child go from a more stressed, inflamed state to…

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Why infidelity is a lonely place to be

By | Infidelity, Intimacy | No Comments

In this video I share why infidelity is a lonely place to be.  You'll find out why loneliness causes infidelity and a disconnection with your partner. We live in a very image conscious society so many of us often hold back parts of ourselves because we're afraid to share our authentic self It's a double edge sword...you feel like you can't share all sides of yourself so you disconnect from your relationship.  You commit infidelity and you end up feeling...

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How to put a stop to anxiety over your performance

Men: How to put a stop to anxiety over your performance

By | Great Sex, Intimacy, Sex | No Comments

In this video Todd talks about how put a stop to anxiety over your performance in bed. You'll want to watch this video whether you are a man or a woman as Todd dispels common beliefs around intimacy and male performance. He shares what women really want from their partner based upon his 30+ years in private practice working with couples. In this video Todd talks about how put a stop to anxiety over your performance in bed. You'll want to watch this video whether you...

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How to create more romance in your relationship

Create More Romance: How to get the sexy back in your relationship

By | Creating More Passion in Marriage, Great Sex, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage, Romance, Sexual Desire | No Comments

In this video I''ll show you how easy it is to create more romance and sex in your relationship.   I cover how to get the sexy back into your intimate relationship when you've gone beyond the lust and romantic stages.   The good news is that you can have it all... that comfortable, loving side PLUS the exciting lust & romantically driven side all at once.   It just takes a little planning let me show you how simple it...

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The Link Between Emotional Pain and Romance

I’m So Mad! Let’s Kiss!: The Link Between Emotional Pain and Romance

By | Commitment, Communication, Intimacy, Love advice, Marital Advice, Marriage Advice, Passion, Romance, Successful Marriages | No Comments

It is easy to be romantic in the beginning of relationships where our focus is on the pleasure and the positives.  But when the relationship continues, we get annoyed, hurt, frustrated and angry with our partner at times.  And we are supposed to be romantic anyway? Yes – pain is inevitable and pain is not the block to romance.  The block to romance happens when we let the pain disconnect us.  Our role models (mainly parents and grandparents) were not…

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How to Increase Orgasmic Potential in Women

How to Increase Orgasmic Potential in Women

By | Arousal, Communication, EMDR, Female orgasmic disorder, Intimacy, Marital Advice, Sexual Desire, Sexual Dysfunction, Sexual Trauma | No Comments

Orgasms are wonderful to experience and I will be writing about ways to maximize the chances of having one (or multiple).  But first- let’s be clear.  Putting too much emphasis on the end result of most things takes away the pleasure of the process.  This is exponentially true when it comes to enjoying our sexual selves.  And the truth is for some people; they cannot experience orgasm no matter what they do.  So, if you are one of those people,…

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surviving marital affairs and intimacy issues

Interview: Overcoming a marital affair and intimacy issues

By | Infidelity, Intimacy, Marriage, Marriage Advice, Marriage Problems, Relationships, Romance, Sex | No Comments

I was recently interviewed by The Child Law Help Center about how to build an improved relationship after a marital affair and/or intimacy issues. In it I discuss the two main reasons why couples contact me for help: Lack of intimacy in the relationship Infidelity You'll want to check out the entire article to see what I have to say about the factors leading up to both situations, and my opinion on whether or not I think the relationship can...

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Orgasmic Issues in Women

Orgasmic Issues in Women

By | Arousal, Communication, Eroticism, Female orgasmic disorder, Intimacy, Passion, Sex, Sexual Dysfunction | No Comments

I have worked with many women and couples where the female is having trouble experiencing orgasms.   There are a lot of myths and false information.  As you will see below, physiological, emotional, and relational factors can all contribute to the problem.  However, as we are discovering in many aspects of sexuality, there is no real “normal,” and woman and their partners need to be careful not to be critical of the woman having orgasmic difficulties. Here are ten facts about Female…

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Increasing Female Sexual Arousal and Desire

Increasing Female Sexual Arousal and Desire

By | Arousal, Eroticism, Great Sex, Intimacy, Marriage Advice, Passion, Sensuality, Sex, Sexual Desire, Sexual Dysfunction | No Comments

This month I am writing about women and sexuality.  It is a big and important topic and I will cover one part of it with each blog.  I have seen many women come into my office with or without their partner concerned about their lack of interest regarding sex.  The first thing I want to say about this is that the most recent Diagnostic Manual for those of us in the mental health field has combined female arousal and desire/interest…

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Diffuse Conflict Quickly

Diffuse Conflict Quickly

By | Commitment, Conflict Resolution, Family Relationships, Harmony, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage, Love, Marital Advice, Marriage Advice, Peace, Relationships | No Comments

A Powerful Tool to Go From Conflict to Peace I want to discuss with you one of the most powerful tools I know that can de-escalate conflict.  This tool can be used with your intimate partner as well as in any relationship.  It is particularly useful at this time of the year when underlying conflicts seem to come to the surface.  (I am already seeing it in the phone calls I am getting since last week and continuing this week)….

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