Letting Go of Guilt About Your Sexuality

Letting Go of Guilt About Your Sexuality, Learning to Trust Your Desire

By | Commitment, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage, Marital Advice, Passion, Relationships, Romance, Sex, Sexual Desire | No Comments

Believe it or not, we still live in a relatively Puritanical society.  It is a society that still contains many taboos about sex.  Going even beyond sex, many of us learned to distrust desires of all kinds if it did not fit the idea of what a parent, authority figure or even culture felt we should desire.  That could be about sex, about a career, about a passion for a hobby, etc.  So our deeper sexual desires and other pursuits…

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Infidelity is an Interpersonal Crime!

Infidelity is an Interpersonal Crime!

By | Commitment, Communication, Infidelity, Intimacy, Love, Marital Advice, Marital Problems, Marriage Advice, Marriage Problems, Relationships, Sex, Toxic Relationships | 3 Comments

One of the more common things I do is help couples who have experienced infidelity survive and even thrive.  As I have said before, the great majority of these couples are successful in treatment.  However, I am clear on one thing- cheating and all the secrecy and deception that goes with it steals from the betrayed partner.  It steals a very important right- the right to have information in order to make a good decision.  You cannot make a good…

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Your Face Reminds Me of My Mother

Your Face Reminds Me of My Mother and other compliments

By | Communication, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage, Love, Love advice, Marital Advice, Marriage, Passion, Relationships, Romance, Sexy Marriage | No Comments

Compliments like what is in the title of this article may not exactly be what your partner would want to hear, especially if it is the wife saying it to her husband. However, I wanted you to read this important information that is instrumental to a happy intimate relationship, so I wanted to get your attention. John and Julie Gottman, wonderful marriage researchers and therapists have studied couples for over 3 decades and have come up with a number of…

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32 Years and Still Sexy as Ever

By | Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage, Love, Marital Advice, Passion, Romance, Sexy Marriage, Successful Marriages | One Comment

This past August 12th was our 32nd wedding anniversary.  Cherie and I have been playing, loving, parenting, fighting and making up for all these years (Well- parenting together for 23 of those years).  Our relationship has had its challenges as all close relationships do.  We are very different in some significant ways.   Our parenting styles were different; I am a dreamer and have been a risk taker as an entrepreneur while my wife preferred more stability and structure.  And of…

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Communicating Your Kink With Your Partner

Communicating Your Kink With Your Partner

By | Commitment, Communication, Intimacy, Marriage Advice, Passion, Relationships, Romance, Sex, Successful Marriages | No Comments

Intimate partners often have unspoken rules of what can be expressed and what cannot be expressed. As author of the book, The Long Hot Marriage, I am passionate about helping long-term couples have alive and passionate relationships. One way to do that is to use the committed relationship to explore your “less conventional” sides of yourself, particularly your unconventional sexual desires. I am so thankful that this society is showing signs of opening up sexually and not being so quick…

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3 Ways Practicing Kindness Leads to Better Sex

3 Ways Practicing Kindness Leads to Better Sex

By | Commitment, Great Sex, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage, Love, Marital Advice, Marriage Advice, Passion, Relationships, Romance | No Comments

When you read the word “kind”, what sensations or feelings come up for you?  For me, there is a softening of my muscles, and ease in my body.  There is a slowing down of some sort.  For some people in our lives, it may be easy to practice kindness but unfortunately, it is often most difficult with our long-term partner.  It is easy to have automatic resentment or focus on where our partner is NOT meeting our needs.  Or we…

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3 Daily Rituals that will Keep the Passion in Your Marriage

3 Daily Rituals that will Keep the Passion in Your Marriage

By | Committment, Communication, Creating More Passion in Marriage, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage, Love, Marriage, Marriage Advice, Passion, Relationships, Romance | No Comments

Weddings, Bar and Bat Mitzvahs and funerals are rituals that make us slow down and have deeper, more profound life experiences. These rituals help us celebrate the good times and deal and heal from the bad times.  In marriage, we also need rituals to deal with the good and bad times and these rituals will keep as well as increase the passion and aliveness in your intimate relationship.  The rituals I am about to discuss are best done on a…

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The Humorous side of relationships

The Humorous Side of Relationship Problems

By | Communication, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage, Love, Love advice, Marriage | No Comments

Relationships can be challenging and painful at times and this month I have been writing about the serious topic of infidelity.  So for the 5th Thursday in March, how about a little humor! “Someone told me the delightful story of the crusader who put a chastity belt on his wife and gave the key to his best friend for safekeeping, in case of his death. He had ridden only a few miles away when his friend, riding hard, caught up…

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Partners Who Cheat are Not Looking for Another Lover

By | Committment, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage, Marital Advice, Marital Problems, Relationships, Romance, Successful Marriages | No Comments

Did I just say that? Yes I did! People who cheat really looking for a different self and I explain why in detail in this short video. Watch the video and get a better idea of what people who cheat are looking for.  It will help you to understand why people cheat and see why you shouldn’t take their actions personally. I don’t want to diminish the fact that there is pain involved when affairs happen.   Only when you…

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The # 1 Way To Prevent Infidelity

The # 1 Way To Prevent Infidelity

By | Committment, Infidelity, Intimacy, Love, Marital Advice, Marital Problems, Marriage Advice, Marriage Problems | No Comments

I have written and talked much about the many factors that can contribute to infidelity.  However, there is one way to prevent infidelity that trumps all others.  OPEN AND COURAGEOUS COMMUNICATION.    The biggest problem with interpersonal relationships is that we suppress, hold back and hide our feelings, preferences and desires that we think may provoke the other person or “get us in trouble.”   By observing my clients, I have discovered that conflict avoidance is one of the more common antecedents…

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