3 Words More Important than I Love You

3 Words More Important than I Love You

By | Communication, Intimacy, Marriage, Marriage Advice, Marriage Problems | 2 Comments

“I love you.”  What could be better than that?  Saying a heartfelt “I love you,” to your intimate partner can bring you both closer and evoke feelings such as warmth and compassion.  However, many people say those three words, and many relationships are still in a heap of trouble.  I have three words for you that if practiced regularly and genuinely will truly transform your relationship and may just be the most direct route to a loving relationship. Communication is…

Read More
How to communicate your way to a stellar relationship

How to communicate your way to a STELLAR relationship

By | Communication, Healthy Marriage, Intimacy, Listening Skills | No Comments

Healthy communication is the #1 most important thing you must have in your relationship Fortunately, it's something that can be easily learned and applied to your relationship. Here are my top 3 tips that will help you to communicate your way to a stellar relationship or marriage, and increase your connection and understanding of your partner. Here's what I cover in this video Tip#1:  Drop Your Agenda Why its good for both your relationship and your health... Tip #2:  Feel...

Read More
5 Signs that a Betrayed Person can Trust the Partner Again

5 Signs that a Betrayed Person can Trust the Partner Again

By | Cheating, Commitment, Communication, Infidelity, Intimacy, Marital Problems, Marriage, Toxic Relationships | No Comments

Your partner cheated on you.  You discovered the affair.  You both have been working on the relationship and trying to heal.  However, you have been hurt in one of the most painful ways possible and it is difficult to let your guard down.  “What if he or she does it again?  Then I will REALLY feel like a fool!”   It makes sense to hold back trust.  It makes sense to be protective.  However, if that continues for a long time,…

Read More
Alternatives to Infidelity - Healthy Ways to Regulate Your Emotions

Alternatives to Infidelity – Healthy Ways to Regulate Your Emotions

By | Commitment, Communication, Infidelity, Intimacy, Relationships | No Comments

In my last blog, I talked about another way to think about infidelity- Infidelity is a way to regulate our emotions.  Down regulating consists of managing hyperarousal, stress and anxiety. Up-regulating consists of arousing or enlivening ourselves when we feel bored or empty.  I would recommend reading that article before continuing to read this one if you have not read it already.  I am not saying that if you do what I write below- infidelity issues will cease; it is…

Read More
Why People Cheat- Another Look at Infidelity

Why People Cheat- Another Look at Infidelity

By | Commitment, Communication, Family Relationships, Infidelity, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage | No Comments

As a professor and psychotherapist, I have learned some things about early childhood development.  Infants and young children do not have the brain apparatus to regulate their emotions so they utilize their caretaker’s brains basically to do the regulation.  For example, the attuned mother can calm an anxious baby with touch or food or changing a wet diaper.  This is called down-regulation meaning that the mother in these examples helps the child go from a more stressed, inflamed state to…

Read More

Why infidelity is a lonely place to be

By | Infidelity, Intimacy | No Comments

In this video I share why infidelity is a lonely place to be.  You'll find out why loneliness causes infidelity and a disconnection with your partner. We live in a very image conscious society so many of us often hold back parts of ourselves because we're afraid to share our authentic self It's a double edge sword...you feel like you can't share all sides of yourself so you disconnect from your relationship.  You commit infidelity and you end up feeling...

Read More
How to put a stop to anxiety over your performance

Men: How to put a stop to anxiety over your performance

By | Great Sex, Intimacy, Sex | No Comments

In this video Todd talks about how put a stop to anxiety over your performance in bed. You'll want to watch this video whether you are a man or a woman as Todd dispels common beliefs around intimacy and male performance. He shares what women really want from their partner based upon his 30+ years in private practice working with couples. In this video Todd talks about how put a stop to anxiety over your performance in bed. You'll want to watch this video whether you...

Read More
How to create more romance in your relationship

Create More Romance: How to get the sexy back in your relationship

By | Creating More Passion in Marriage, Great Sex, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage, Romance, Sexual Desire | No Comments

In this video I''ll show you how easy it is to create more romance and sex in your relationship.   I cover how to get the sexy back into your intimate relationship when you've gone beyond the lust and romantic stages.   The good news is that you can have it all... that comfortable, loving side PLUS the exciting lust & romantically driven side all at once.   It just takes a little planning let me show you how simple it...

Read More
The Link Between Emotional Pain and Romance

I’m So Mad! Let’s Kiss!: The Link Between Emotional Pain and Romance

By | Commitment, Communication, Intimacy, Love advice, Marital Advice, Marriage Advice, Passion, Romance, Successful Marriages | No Comments

It is easy to be romantic in the beginning of relationships where our focus is on the pleasure and the positives.  But when the relationship continues, we get annoyed, hurt, frustrated and angry with our partner at times.  And we are supposed to be romantic anyway? Yes – pain is inevitable and pain is not the block to romance.  The block to romance happens when we let the pain disconnect us.  Our role models (mainly parents and grandparents) were not…

Read More
How to Increase Orgasmic Potential in Women

How to Increase Orgasmic Potential in Women

By | Arousal, Communication, EMDR, Female orgasmic disorder, Intimacy, Marital Advice, Sexual Desire, Sexual Dysfunction, Sexual Trauma | No Comments

Orgasms are wonderful to experience and I will be writing about ways to maximize the chances of having one (or multiple).  But first- let’s be clear.  Putting too much emphasis on the end result of most things takes away the pleasure of the process.  This is exponentially true when it comes to enjoying our sexual selves.  And the truth is for some people; they cannot experience orgasm no matter what they do.  So, if you are one of those people,…

Read More