Gratefulness Can Make you Healthy, Wealthy and Sexy

Gratefulness Can Make you Healthy, Wealthy and Sexy

By | Commitment, Gratitude, Healing, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage, Marital Advice | No Comments

So, the number one self-healing thing I do is not healthy eating and not exercise.  It is practicing being grateful.  I even am practicing gratefulness right now as I sit having just watched my team; the LA Dodgers lose in the 7th game of a World Series.  Now that takes some doing!  Why is being grateful so important? Feeling grateful leads to your blood vessels dilating, your cortisol lowering, and your muscles relaxing.  A grateful person feels safe and a…

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Opening Your Heart After Infidelity

Opening Your Heart After Infidelity

By | Cheating, Healing, Infidelity | No Comments

How To Trust Again When You’ve Been Betrayed When I write these articles, I know that every couple is unique.  There is not just one blueprint for healing, yet I know it is possible to begin opening your heart after infidelity has happened.  I do not work with couples in the exact same way, because partners have different childhoods, different wounding, different capacities to be resilient and different needs.  However here are some truths that I have found to be…

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How to help your partner heal from sexual trauma

How to Help Your Partner Heal from Sexual Trauma

By | Communication, Counseling, Healing, Healing from Sexual Trauma, Molestation, Rape, Sexual abuse, Sexual Trauma, Trauma | No Comments

A few days ago, I wrote about 7 different touching exercises couples can do together to help one or both heal from sexual trauma.  Here are five important things a partner can do to help the sexual trauma victim heal. Get educated.  Read articles and maybe even go to a sexual trauma expert to learn about how sexual trauma affects people. Encourage your partner to see a qualified therapist if he or she is not seeing one already. Be willing…

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7 Tips to Associate Touch with Love and Safety

Re-learning Touch: 7 Tips to Associate Touch with Love and Safety

By | Counseling, Healing, Healing from Sexual Trauma, Rape, Sexual Trauma, Trauma | No Comments

Victims of sexual trauma have learned to associate touch with shame, feeling out of control and danger. They are often left feeling as if they are bad and unlovable; all due to the way a victim will cope with the overwhelming pain of the experience. As victims and partners are educated on the psychological and sexual effects of sexual trauma, this understanding can motivate couples to engage in touching exercises designed to shift the negative associations to positive. These touch…

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Healing from sexual trauma

Healing from Sexual Trauma

By | Counseling, Dysfunctional Family, EMDR, Healing, Healing from Sexual Trauma, Rape, Sexual abuse, Sexual Desire, Sexual Trauma, Trauma | No Comments

Many clients come to see me because of symptoms due to either molest, rape or other sexual trauma.  Two weeks ago, I talked about types of sexual trauma and last week I talked about how sexual trauma can affect sexuality.  This article, though brief will succinctly describe some of the things I do and recommend to help people heal from sexual trauma.  Here are 7 keys to healing from sexual trauma: 1)   Relationships are very important.  Having loved ones, or…

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How Sexual Trauma can Affect Sexuality

How Sexual Trauma can Affect Sexuality

By | Healing, Healing from Sexual Trauma, Pornography, Rape, Relationships, Sex, Sexual abuse, Sexual Dysfunction, Sexual Problem, Sexual Trauma, Trauma | No Comments

Trauma is an experience somebody has that is deeply distressing or disturbing.  Sexual trauma is particularly distressing because of the sense of powerlessness and betrayal that the victim feels.  Often, the perpetrator, whether it is childhood molest or adult rape is someone the victim knows well. Some victims where the trauma was once or a few times (of course one is one too many!), may not develop Post Traumatic Stress Disorder particularly if the victim has a good support system,…

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5 Types of Sexual Trauma

5 Types of Sexual Trauma

By | Healing, Healing from Sexual Trauma, Pornography, Rape, Sex, Sexual abuse, Sexual Dysfunction, Sexual Problem, Sexual Trauma | No Comments

This month I am writing about sexual trauma and how it affects sexuality as an adult.  I will be covering types of sexual trauma, how it affects sexuality, effective treatment approaches and how partners of sexual traumas can be part of the healing.   Sexual trauma occurs when sex is non-consensual and/or coercive.  To adults need to both choose and consent to the sexual act.  When adults are being sexual with children, it is always non-consensual since the child is not…

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5 Tips for Spotting Toxic Relationships by Looking at Ourselves

5 Tips for Spotting Toxic Relationships by Looking at Ourselves

By | Domestic Violence, Healing, Relationships | No Comments

Is my relationship toxic? I have been asked this question many times by clients. So, how do you know if your relationship is toxic? Sometimes it is obvious. If your partner is yelling or screaming at you, physically abusing you, calling you names or cursing at you regularly, it is pretty easy to figure out. However, often, it is way subtler than that. When it is subtle, not only is it harder to get out of the toxic relationship but…

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Todd’s Secrets for A Sexy Relationship

By | Creating More Passion in Marriage, Great Sex, Healing, Long Hot Marriage, Love, Love advice, Marital Advice, Marital Problems, Marriage, Marriage Advice, Marriage Problems, Passion, Relationships, Sex, Sexy | No Comments

We’ve all been there. After the HOT beginnings of a relationship, things tend to simmer down, and eventually cool off. It’s totally natural but not unpreventable. If you want a little more sizzle, and less fizzle, watch these 5 easy ways to spark up your love life with your beloved. You can start making your relationship better, tonight!

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Healing from Trauma: Getting Past Your Past

By | Divorce, Dysfunctional Family, Healing, Marriage Problems, Parenting, Videos | No Comments

Relationships struggle from time to time; it happens. However, if you or a loved one consistently are impeded in your emotional well-being, you might be suffering from trauma. It can be trauma from your childhood, more recent, or even from your relationship itself. No matter how difficult, healing can happen. Check out the latest technique I’ve been learning about that helps quickly erase the effects of living the pain over and over again, and helps you get back to the…

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