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How to overcome your dysfunctional family

Break Free and Overcome Your Dysfunctional Family

By | Dysfunctional Family Tips & Advice, Family Relationships Tips & Advice | No Comments

The ability to break free and overcome our dysfunctional families is within your power. Watch this short video I created for where I give you hope that it is possible to break free from the chains that are holding you back from being your authentic self.    If you took over the role of care-taking as a child or find yourself choosing partners as an adult who need to be taken care of you'll want to watch this video.  ...

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Dysfunctional Families and Reverse Parenting

Dysfunctional Families and Reverse Parenting

By | Dysfunctional Family Tips & Advice, Family Relationships Tips & Advice | No Comments

Dysfunctional Families and Reverse Parenting When the Child Becomes the Caretaker In some families, one or both parents are too stressed, immature or ill to be the calming and effective parents that the children truly need.    In order to feel secure, children need to experience their parents as big people so that they can be freed up to be the small people they really are.  But not all children are fortunate to have this deserved experience. Some find themselves...

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Bring the Best Out of Others

Relationship Mastery: Bring the Best Out of Others

By | Family Relationships Tips & Advice, Relationship Advice | No Comments

You are a powerful interpersonal center of influence.   It only takes ONE in a relationship to bring the best out of others.  It doesn’t matter if this is a personal or a more casual relationship.  You have the power. In other words, you have the ability to affect others in both negative and positive ways.  You are not a neutral force; it is impossible to be neutral.  Think of a time when you were at a social event and there…

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A Letter to My Daughters about Sexual Harassment

A Letter to My Daughters about Sexual Harassment

By | Family Relationships Tips & Advice | 2 Comments

My daughters are 25 and 22 and by now both my wife and I have had numerous talks with them about sexual harassment and how to deal with it, stop it in its tracks, etc.   With all the media coverage and seeing how pervasive this problem of sexual harassment is, both in the workplace and in universities, we need to have these talks early with our daughters and sons.  If I were to write a letter to them now…

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How to handle stress and be resilient

How to handle stress and be resilient

By | Family Relationships Tips & Advice, Relationship Advice | No Comments

Do You Know How to Handle Stress and Be Resilient? Stress is an inevitable part of all of our lives...and what we do with it is what matters. I'm back with part 3 on my series on stress and resilience.  In the first post on this series I covered  I gave you 7 tips to work with your body  and in part 2 I  shared 7 tips to work with your mind to be resilient.  In this post I'm concluding...

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My Personal Family Story

My Personal Family Story

By | Family Relationships Tips & Advice | No Comments

My Personal Family Story Transforming Myself, Transforming My Family I was the people pleaser; the one who always tried to be nice.   My family was close.  I have an older brother, 14 years older and a younger sister 3 and a half years younger; all of the same biological parents.   I grew up and eventually got married in my mid 20’s.   Over the course of our marriage, my wife and I spend a lot of time with my...

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happy couple free from dysfunctional family

Breaking the Shackles of a Dysfunctional Family

By | Dysfunctional Family Tips & Advice, Family Relationships Tips & Advice, Love advice | No Comments

How a Couple Rewrote their Stories to have a Thriving Relationship She came from a family where her father left when she was 5.   She was the oldest of three siblings.  Her mother was mostly in a state of overwhelm and she became the “responsible” child.  Her mother remarried and she grew close to him.  However, he passed away when she was 14 and it was devastating to her. She continued being in the role of the responsible child....

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Breaking Free from the 5 Dysfunctional Roles

Breaking Free from the 5 Dysfunctional Roles

By | Dysfunctional Family Tips & Advice, Family Relationships Tips & Advice, Relationship Advice, Toxic Relationship Tips & Advice | 3 Comments

Part 2 of the Dysfunctional Roles article Two weeks ago, I wrote an article describing 5 roles that people inherit when they come from dysfunctional families. Of course, you may personally come up with more roles; I just listed the ones I see that are most common. In this article, I copied and pasted the description of each role from the previous article and then underneath I describe ways you can break the chains of those roles to become more…

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Growing Up In a Dysfunctional Family

Growing Up In a Dysfunctional Family: 5 Possible Roles You May have Inherited

By | Dysfunctional Family Tips & Advice, Family Relationships Tips & Advice, Toxic Relationship Tips & Advice | 2 Comments

In a dysfunctional family, one or more of the parents or siblings had some issues that they did not deal with in healthy ways.  Instead, the rest of the family had to adapt to survive and make sense of the family.  If you came from a dysfunctional family, then neither you nor any of your family members could escape this adaptation. This adaptation can be thought of as a role.  As you know from a job role, it is limited….

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Why People Cheat- Another Look at Infidelity

Why People Cheat- Another Look at Infidelity

By | Communication Tips & Advice, Family Relationships Tips & Advice, Infidelity Tips & Advice, Long Hot Marriage | No Comments

As a professor and psychotherapist, I have learned some things about early childhood development.  Infants and young children do not have the brain apparatus to regulate their emotions so they utilize their caretaker’s brains basically to do the regulation.  For example, the attuned mother can calm an anxious baby with touch or food or changing a wet diaper.  This is called down-regulation meaning that the mother in these examples helps the child go from a more stressed, inflamed state to…

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