Breaking Free from the 5 Dysfunctional Roles

Breaking Free from the 5 Dysfunctional Roles

By | Dysfunctional Family, Family Relationships, family Roles, Relationships, Toxic Relationships | 3 Comments

Part 2 of the Dysfunctional Roles article Two weeks ago, I wrote an article describing 5 roles that people inherit when they come from dysfunctional families. Of course, you may personally come up with more roles; I just listed the ones I see that are most common. In this article, I copied and pasted the description of each role from the previous article and then underneath I describe ways you can break the chains of those roles to become more…

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Growing Up In a Dysfunctional Family

Growing Up In a Dysfunctional Family: 5 Possible Roles You May have Inherited

By | Dysfunctional Family, Family Problems, Family Relationships, Toxic Relationships | 2 Comments

In a dysfunctional family, one or more of the parents or siblings had some issues that they did not deal with in healthy ways.  Instead, the rest of the family had to adapt to survive and make sense of the family.  If you came from a dysfunctional family, then neither you nor any of your family members could escape this adaptation. This adaptation can be thought of as a role.  As you know from a job role, it is limited….

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Why People Cheat- Another Look at Infidelity

Why People Cheat- Another Look at Infidelity

By | Commitment, Communication, Family Relationships, Infidelity, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage | No Comments

As a professor and psychotherapist, I have learned some things about early childhood development.  Infants and young children do not have the brain apparatus to regulate their emotions so they utilize their caretaker’s brains basically to do the regulation.  For example, the attuned mother can calm an anxious baby with touch or food or changing a wet diaper.  This is called down-regulation meaning that the mother in these examples helps the child go from a more stressed, inflamed state to…

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Adult Children of Alcoholics

Adult Children of Alcoholics: 10 Keys to Go From Dysfunctional Family to Thriving

By | Adult Children of Alcoholics, Communication, Dysfunctional Family, Family Problems, Family Relationships, Family Therapy | No Comments

I am writing today about adults who grew up with one or more alcoholic parents. Growing up in a family like this means usually that you grew up in either some kind of chaos or neglect or both.  Since that was the family you grew up in, it may feel “normal’” and it may at first be hard to notice the effects.  However, here are just some of the possible effects of living in an alcoholic home: You are very…

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My Siblings and I Never Talk_7 Tips to Heal and Deal

My Siblings and I Never Talk: 7 Tips to Heal and Deal

By | Communication, Dysfunctional Family, Family Problems, Family Relationships, Toxic Relationships | No Comments

Is your family close? Do you have at least one sibling that you communicate with on a regular basis? If you do, that is wonderful because having good relations with your family can cushion you against the stresses of life as well as help you rejoice in the good times. Being with family members who celebrate holidays together, get together consistently and are there for emotional support has been shown to increase emotional and physical wellbeing. However, what if that…

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How To Stop Your Family From Pulling Your Chains

By | Dysfunctional Family, Family Relationships, Holidays | No Comments

How to not let family members or anyone for that matter pull your chains Your family doesn’t have to yank your chains during the holidays or anytime you get together for that matter.   Watch this short video where Todd shows you how to keep those happy feelings even when someone says something that pushes your buttons. Here’s to keeping your family celebrations happy!    

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Diffuse Conflict Quickly

Diffuse Conflict Quickly

By | Commitment, Conflict Resolution, Family Relationships, Harmony, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage, Love, Marital Advice, Marriage Advice, Peace, Relationships | No Comments

A Powerful Tool to Go From Conflict to Peace I want to discuss with you one of the most powerful tools I know that can de-escalate conflict.  This tool can be used with your intimate partner as well as in any relationship.  It is particularly useful at this time of the year when underlying conflicts seem to come to the surface.  (I am already seeing it in the phone calls I am getting since last week and continuing this week)….

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Communicating with Your Child About Sex

Communicating with Your Child About Sex

By | Communication, Family Relationships | No Comments

This month I will be talking about communication and sex, and for the first blog, I want to write about how to communicate with your child about sex. Here are 5 tips for healthy communication with your child about sex. 1) Do it! That’s right; the biggest problem with parents is that they avoid the conversation. Of course that means you need to do an inventory of yourself and your own attitudes about sex and how sex was communicated to…

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Hot Monogamy- 3 Surefire Ways to Spark Your Relationship

Hot Monogamy – 3 Surefire Ways to Spark Your Relationship

By | Commitment, Creating More Passion in Marriage, Family Relationships, Great Sex, Long Hot Marriage, Marital Advice, Marriage Advice, Passion, Relationships, Romance, Sexy | No Comments

When I wrote my book, “The Long Hot Marriage,” my brother exclaimed- “Oh, you wrote a fairy tale!”  It was a funny line but let me tell you something- The Long Hot Marriage is no fairy tale!  Hot monogamy is a reality and here are 3 ways to make sure you experience this wonderful gift of a long, passionate relationship: 1)   Dare to leave your comfort zone often.  Your ancestors basically did not do this with their partners.  Take a…

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Don’t Spoil Your Child; Spoil Your Spouse

Don’t Spoil Your Child; Spoil Your Spouse! (The best gift you can give your children)

By | Family Relationships, Parenting | No Comments

I hear it all the time!  What does my partner expect of me?  I am exhausted after taking my children to their various classes and sport activities, and then I have to make dinner and after dinner, I have to get them to bed.  By that time- I am exhausted and my spouse is mad at me for not having energy for him (or her). What do we do when we need to make sure that we have enough money…

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