How to help your partner heal from sexual trauma

How to Help Your Partner Heal from Sexual Trauma

By | Communication, Counseling, Healing, Healing from Sexual Trauma, Molestation, Rape, Sexual abuse, Sexual Trauma, Trauma | No Comments

A few days ago, I wrote about 7 different touching exercises couples can do together to help one or both heal from sexual trauma.  Here are five important things a partner can do to help the sexual trauma victim heal. Get educated.  Read articles and maybe even go to a sexual trauma expert to learn about how sexual trauma affects people. Encourage your partner to see a qualified therapist if he or she is not seeing one already. Be willing…

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7 Tips to Associate Touch with Love and Safety

Re-learning Touch: 7 Tips to Associate Touch with Love and Safety

By | Counseling, Healing, Healing from Sexual Trauma, Rape, Sexual Trauma, Trauma | No Comments

Victims of sexual trauma have learned to associate touch with shame, feeling out of control and danger. They are often left feeling as if they are bad and unlovable; all due to the way a victim will cope with the overwhelming pain of the experience. As victims and partners are educated on the psychological and sexual effects of sexual trauma, this understanding can motivate couples to engage in touching exercises designed to shift the negative associations to positive. These touch…

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Healing from sexual trauma

Healing from Sexual Trauma

By | Counseling, Dysfunctional Family, EMDR, Healing, Healing from Sexual Trauma, Rape, Sexual abuse, Sexual Desire, Sexual Trauma, Trauma | No Comments

Many clients come to see me because of symptoms due to either molest, rape or other sexual trauma.  Two weeks ago, I talked about types of sexual trauma and last week I talked about how sexual trauma can affect sexuality.  This article, though brief will succinctly describe some of the things I do and recommend to help people heal from sexual trauma.  Here are 7 keys to healing from sexual trauma: 1)   Relationships are very important.  Having loved ones, or…

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EMDR- A trauma approach that can help couple

EMDR- A trauma approach that can help couple

By | Counseling, EMDR, Relationships, Toxic Relationships | No Comments

I have discussed about EMDR in a few past blogs. As I have said EMDR is a well researched and very effective approach to help people move through past pain so they can live more in the present. In this article I want to briefly talk about how I use it with couples that come to see me. Sometimes one or both partners are blocked emotionally or sexually because of some earlier past trauma or multiple traumas. Often past events…

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Utilizing Your Imagination for Dramatic Relationship Results in 2016

Shift Happens – Utilizing Your Imagination for Dramatic Relationship Results in 2016

By | Counseling, Holidays, Intimacy, Love advice, Marriage Advice, Passion, Relationships | No Comments

Here are 5 powerful steps to take to dramatically improve your relationship in 2016: 1)  Forget history; ok maybe you cannot forget, but do not define your partner by his or her past behavior.  That could be very limiting and keeps a couple stuck in old negative patterns. 2)  Focus on what you want from your partner, even if you never or seldom have received it.  Imagine your partner giving you what you want. 3)  Thank your partner in advance…

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Create a New Positive Family Legacy

By | Communication, Counseling, Dysfunctional Family, Family Relationships, Holidays, Marital Advice, Marital Problems, Marriage, Marriage Advice, Marriage Problems, Mind/Body Health, Parenting, Relationships, Toxic Relationships, Videos | No Comments

Family! Ever find your parents’ voice coming out of your mouth? Do you find yourself recreating the same patterns with your partner or children? Are you longing to have a different relationship with your family?  Sometimes, it seems that nothing will ever change. But, you have the ability to change EVERYTHING. By making a few adjustments in how YOU deal with your past, you will liberate your family to a new way of being! Watch this video for a quick, powerful list of 5…

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The Three Most Important Habits of Happy Couples

The Three Most Important Habits of Happy Couples

By | Committment, Communication, Counseling, Intimacy, Love advice, Marital Advice, Marriage, Marriage Advice, Relationships | 2 Comments

John and Julia Gottman are the foremost researchers on marriage in the world as far as I am concerned. They have been observing and following couples for over 30 years, watching their behavior, listening to what they say and seeing them on cameras as these couples lived in their “Love Lab,” in Seattle. The couple would be there for several days at a time. They would ask couples 7-10 years later some questions and found the happy couples; the ones…

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Healing from a Broken Heart

By | Coping, Counseling, Toxic Relationships | No Comments

Just about all of us have experienced heartbreak.  We can literally feel the pain in our heart when someone breaks up with us.  How can we get over this pain and move on?  Here are 5 steps towards healing from a broken heart. Feel your feelings; don’t avoid them by going quickly into another relationship or drugs or alcohol.  Avoidance will only belabor your anguish.  Slow down and spend time feeling what you are experiencing.  Cry if you need to;…

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3 Ways Caring Relationships Can Help a Trauma Survivor

By | Coping, Counseling, Healing, Love, Mind/Body Health, Relationships, Toxic Relationships | One Comment

Newborns and young babies depend on their caretakers to regulate their emotions until their brain is sufficiently developed to be able to regulate more on their own.  When a person goes through a trauma, there is cortisol shooting through the person’s system and is it difficult to regulate feelings and like the newborn can benefit greatly from supportive caring interpersonal relationships.  One of the most accepted and researched psychological theories is attachment theory which basically states that the primary motivation…

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5 Steps to Recover from the Emotional Trauma of Abuse

By | Coping, Counseling, Healing, Relationships | No Comments

Whether it is physical, sexual or verbal abuse, victims have emotional wounds.  If these wounds make it difficult to move on or you repeat the same victimization over and over again, or you avoid future relationships because of the past, you may have PTSD, post traumatic stress disorder.  The four signs of PTSD as described in the DSM5, the newest Diagnostic and Statistical Manual are: Negative Alterations of Cognition and Mood i.e.- feeling that you are bad or a terrible…

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