Diffuse Conflict Quickly

Diffuse Conflict Quickly

By | Commitment, Conflict Resolution, Family Relationships, Harmony, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage, Love, Marital Advice, Marriage Advice, Peace, Relationships | No Comments

A Powerful Tool to Go From Conflict to Peace I want to discuss with you one of the most powerful tools I know that can de-escalate conflict.  This tool can be used with your intimate partner as well as in any relationship.  It is particularly useful at this time of the year when underlying conflicts seem to come to the surface.  (I am already seeing it in the phone calls I am getting since last week and continuing this week)….

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The Five Love Languages

Relationship Toolkit Part 1- The 5 Love Languages

By | Communication, Conflict Resolution, Creating More Passion in Marriage, Great Sex, Long Hot Marriage, Love, Marital Advice, Marriage Advice, Sex | No Comments

One thing I have heard hundreds if not thousands of times is the statement,” No matter how much I give to my partner, it is never enough.”  Here is the truth- we give to our partner the way we want our partner to give to us. The problem with that is what your partner needs to FEEL LOVED is different than what YOU need to feel loved.  I write about that in my book, “The Long Hot Marriage.”  Gary Chapman…

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Communication in Relationships: Effective and Destructive

By | Communication, Conflict Resolution, Coping, Counseling, Dysfunctional Family, Family Relationships, Healing, Intimacy, Love, Love advice, Marriage, Marriage Advice, Marriage Problems, Parenting, Relationships, Successful Marriages, Toxic Relationships | No Comments

Effective: Clean communication- clean communication is when the only intent of your communication is to reveal something about yourself. Example: I am angry with you for getting defensive rather than listening. Destructive: Unclean communication- unclean communication is when you have other intentions such as punishing the other person defending yourself, getting rid of your own tension or proving you are right. Example: Yelling loudly- your listening skills suck!  (Getting rid of tension) Effective: Being receptive which includes dropping your own…

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Toxic Relationship: Couple Quarreling

“You’re the Worst Communicator Ever”- Confessions of a Marriage Therapist- (Me)

By | Communication, Conflict Resolution, Coping, Counseling, Dysfunctional Family, Family Relationships, Healing, Intimacy, Love, Love advice, Marriage, Marriage Advice, Marriage Problems, Parenting, Relationships, Toxic Relationships | No Comments

I have been to many parties where people would come up to my wife and say- “You must have a perfect marriage- you are married to a marriage therapist.”  And my wife found that comment very funny!  The truth is- yes- I am a marriage therapist, and I am also a human being who grew up in a family where great communication was not modeled.  There were many times I would be helping a couple with communication and suddenly had…

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Communication: Bickering, Yelling, Withdrawing, and Suppressing

By | Communication, Conflict Resolution, Counseling, Family Relationships, Healing, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage, Love, Love advice, Marital Advice, Marital Problems, Marriage, Marriage Advice, Marriage Problems, Relationships, Successful Marriages, Toxic Relationships, Videos | 2 Comments

Ever have a simple item of discussion turn into a multiple hour fight? What should have been a simple chat, becomes another battle; and by the end of it, you’re no closer together. I see it all the time with the couples I help. It comes down to a few styles of communication that are standing in the way of smooth sailing.  Watch this video to find out what kind of dynamic is going on in your home. And of…

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The Most Important Element Of Communication Nobody Talks About

By | Communication, Conflict Resolution, Coping, Counseling, Healing, Intimacy, Love, Marital Problems, Marriage, Marriage Advice, Marriage Problems | 2 Comments

Say “I” statements. Don’t be defensive. Repeat the words that your partner said. These are a few of the things people hear at basic communication seminars or what they read in communication articles. That is all well and good except that there is something that everyone has to do before anything else so that communication can be effective. And here it is: DROP YOUR AGENDA! What do I mean by that? I mean stop trying to accomplish ANYTHING when your…

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Ready for Love? Show tonight featuring Yours Truly!

By | Communication, Conflict Resolution, Counseling, Creating More Passion in Marriage, Great Sex, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage, Love, Love advice, Marital Advice, Marital Problems, Marriage, Marriage Advice, Marriage Problems, Relationships, Romance, Sex, Sexy, Successful Marriages | One Comment

  We will discuss maintaining or adding more passion and intimacy to your long term relationship. Why is it hard to keep passion alive? How to develop “emotional muscle”? Have effective communication Perceptions of your partner What is romance? Keep romance alive in relationship Be courageous & experimental Turn up the love volume and listen to the show here: http://www.newvisionsradio.com/ Or check out the archive here: www.lovecoachjourney.com/more-passion

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Improving Sex Lives for Parents with Young Children

By | Committment, Conflict Resolution, Coping, Counseling, Creating More Passion in Marriage, Family Relationships, Great Sex, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage, Love, Love advice, Marital Advice, Marital Problems, Marriage, Marriage Advice, Marriage Problems, Parenting, Relationships, Sex, Sexy, Successful Marriages, Todd’s Thursday Thought | One Comment

As I continue my month-long theme of Sexuality Through the Years, today’s blog is about parents who have young children.  These parents are usually still in their sexual prime but there bodies might not feel like it, especially the mom!  Lack of sleep as well as constantly paying attention for the safety and welfare of babies and young children can take a bite out of the erotic side of a marriage.  Here are 7 tips that I have used with…

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7 Ways To Make Sure Your Partner Will Leave You

By | Committment, Communication, Conflict Resolution, Counseling, Creating More Passion in Marriage, Divorce, Great Sex, Healing, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage, Love, Love advice, Marriage, Marriage Advice, Marriage Problems, Romance, Sex, Sexy, Successful Marriages | One Comment

One thing I have learned as a marriage and sex therapist is that our role models have fallen short in instructing us how to have a thriving marriage.  It’s not their fault; they just did not know. The good news is that there are guides “out there” and resources inside of each one of us that could help us experience the committed relationship we would love to have.  So read between the lines in this article! Here are 7 ways…

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What Toxic, Stagnant and Good Relationships Have In Common

By | Committment, Communication, Conflict Resolution, Creating More Passion in Marriage, Great Sex, Healing, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage, Love, Love advice, Marital Advice, Marital Problems, Romance, Sex, Sexy, Successful Marriages, Todd’s Thursday Thought, Toxic Relationships | No Comments

I have been writing about toxic relationships. These are relationships where you are negatively affected physically, emotionally and spiritually because of the cruel, self-absorbed, neglectful or dependent behavior of an intimate partner. Stagnant relationships can also affect us in negative ways by leaving us bored, frustrated and less emotionally alive. So what do these 2 kinds of relationships have in common with good relationships? In all three, there is room for improvement. It is easy to see how the first…

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