Creating the Long Hot Marriage

Creating the Long Hot Marriage: 10 Tips Your Parents Never Taught You

By | Commitment, Communication, Long Hot Marriage, Love, Marital Advice, Passion, Romance, Successful Marriages | No Comments

1) Your once hot marriage will probably cool off; that is normal and that is not really a problem. 2) Once your marriage cools off, there are most definitely things you can do to fan those embers and get it hot again. 3) Think about what you used to do that created passion in your relationship and do it again whether you feel like it or not. 4) Yes, in order for passion to be recreated, you need to do romantic and sexy gestures…

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Parenting and Romance

Parenting and Romance: Being Lovers When You Have Young Ones Around

By | Commitment, Communication, Love advice, Marital Advice, Relationships, Romance, Successful Marriages | No Comments

Many of my couples in my practice have babies and/or young children.  This is often when their sex life and romantic life wanes.  One or both parents are sleep deprived when the kids are very young.  As the kids get older but are still young, there is homework to help them with, extracurricular activities to get them to as well as all the other aspects of life that we need to take care of.  So when the heck can we…

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The Link Between Emotional Pain and Romance

I’m So Mad! Let’s Kiss!: The Link Between Emotional Pain and Romance

By | Commitment, Communication, Intimacy, Love advice, Marital Advice, Marriage Advice, Passion, Romance, Successful Marriages | No Comments

It is easy to be romantic in the beginning of relationships where our focus is on the pleasure and the positives.  But when the relationship continues, we get annoyed, hurt, frustrated and angry with our partner at times.  And we are supposed to be romantic anyway? Yes – pain is inevitable and pain is not the block to romance.  The block to romance happens when we let the pain disconnect us.  Our role models (mainly parents and grandparents) were not…

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How to Increase Orgasmic Potential in Women

How to Increase Orgasmic Potential in Women

By | Arousal, Communication, EMDR, Female orgasmic disorder, Intimacy, Marital Advice, Sexual Desire, Sexual Dysfunction, Sexual Trauma | No Comments

Orgasms are wonderful to experience and I will be writing about ways to maximize the chances of having one (or multiple).  But first- let’s be clear.  Putting too much emphasis on the end result of most things takes away the pleasure of the process.  This is exponentially true when it comes to enjoying our sexual selves.  And the truth is for some people; they cannot experience orgasm no matter what they do.  So, if you are one of those people,…

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Orgasmic Issues in Women

Orgasmic Issues in Women

By | Arousal, Communication, Eroticism, Female orgasmic disorder, Intimacy, Passion, Sex, Sexual Dysfunction | No Comments

I have worked with many women and couples where the female is having trouble experiencing orgasms.   There are a lot of myths and false information.  As you will see below, physiological, emotional, and relational factors can all contribute to the problem.  However, as we are discovering in many aspects of sexuality, there is no real “normal,” and woman and their partners need to be careful not to be critical of the woman having orgasmic difficulties. Here are ten facts about Female…

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There’s Nothing Stressful Out There

There’s Nothing Stressful Out There!

By | Communication, Compassion, Harmony, Mindfulness, Peace, Spirituality | 2 Comments

It’s All About Perception Traffic, financial challenges, health fears, obstinate children, meddling in-laws- stressful right? WRONG! There is nothing inherently stressful about any of those challenges.  Yes, it is true these kinds of issues can automatically lead to a fight or flight reaction because on some level, it feels like a threat. However, there is good news here. There is a way to think about every one of those problems in a way that can significantly reduce the stress you…

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De-stress NOW and Enjoy the Holidays

De-stress NOW and Enjoy the Holidays

By | Communication, Harmony, Holidays, Marital Advice, Marital Problems, Meditation, Peace, Spirituality | No Comments

Another client just called me and asked if I could forgive her if she canceled late and not be charged. (I have a 48-hour cancellation policy).  She is plowed under with a lot of Christmas cards to get out.  I felt like being generous so I let her off the hook.  She released a sigh of relief.   This is a common scenario and many of you reading this can relate.  My wife and I went to REI because I…

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Meditation, Marriage and other miscellaneous matters

Meditation, Marriage and other Miscellaneous Matters

By | Communication, Harmony, Healthy Marriage, Marriage, Meditation | No Comments

The Benefits of Developing a meditation practice Wednesday night is my Yoga/Meditation class night.  Wednesday nights I notice how I handle interpersonal issues with my wife so much more lovingly.  I handle my emotions more effectively and it takes so much more to get me stressed.   I remember a few classes where I was angry with my wife over some matter in the beginning of class and I saw her and our situation totally differently at the end of class….

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Importance of Playfulness in Your Relationships

By | Commitment, Communication, Creating More Passion in Marriage, Great Sex, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage, Love, Marital Advice, Marriage Advice, Passion, Relationships, Romance, Sex, Sexy Marriage | No Comments

I want to talk to you about the importance of being playful in your intimate relationships Remember back when you began your courtship?  I’ll bet you were more playful, romantic and maybe a bit silly…am I right? Then you became committed and maybe got married, bought a house and/or had kids…right? At some point you became functional and lost the element of surprise and delight in your relationship. We all need to get back the playfulness in our relationships.  In…

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How to help your partner heal from sexual trauma

How to Help Your Partner Heal from Sexual Trauma

By | Communication, Counseling, Healing, Healing from Sexual Trauma, Molestation, Rape, Sexual abuse, Sexual Trauma, Trauma | No Comments

A few days ago, I wrote about 7 different touching exercises couples can do together to help one or both heal from sexual trauma.  Here are five important things a partner can do to help the sexual trauma victim heal. Get educated.  Read articles and maybe even go to a sexual trauma expert to learn about how sexual trauma affects people. Encourage your partner to see a qualified therapist if he or she is not seeing one already. Be willing…

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