3 Words More Important than I Love You

3 Words More Important than I Love You

By | Communication, Intimacy, Marriage, Marriage Advice, Marriage Problems | No Comments

“I love you.”  What could be better than that?  Saying a heartfelt “I love you,” to your intimate partner can bring you both closer and evoke feelings such as warmth and compassion.  However, many people say those three words, and many relationships are still in a heap of trouble.  I have three words for you that if practiced regularly and genuinely will truly transform your relationship and may just be the most direct route to a loving relationship. Communication is…

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Diffuse Conflict Quickly

By | Communication | No Comments

A Powerful Tool to Go From Conflict to Peace I want to discuss with you one of the most powerful tools I know that can de-escalate conflict. This tool can be used with your intimate partner as well as in any relationship. It is particularly useful at this time of the year when underlying conflicts seem to come to the surface. (I am already seeing it in the phone calls I am getting since last week and continuing this week)….

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How to communicate your way to a stellar relationship

How to communicate your way to a STELLAR relationship

By | Communication, Healthy Marriage, Intimacy, Listening Skills | No Comments

Healthy communication is the #1 most important thing you must have in your relationship Fortunately, it's something that can be easily learned and applied to your relationship. Here are my top 3 tips that will help you to communicate your way to a stellar relationship or marriage, and increase your connection and understanding of your partner. Here's what I cover in this video Tip#1:  Drop Your Agenda Why its good for both your relationship and your health... Tip #2:  Feel...

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Do This First Before You Begin To Communicate

Do This First Before You Begin To Communicate

By | Communication, Conflict Resolution, Listening Skills, Marital Advice, Marriage, Marriage Advice, Relationships | No Comments

A Must Read To Improve Your Communication Skills Would you like to be a more effective communicator?  Would you like your intimate partner to listen to you more?   How about having better results at a networking meeting?  There is one thing you can do which will make all the difference in the world in what you bring out of the other person.  Before I spell it out, let me say that neurobiologists talk about right brain to right brain communication….

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5 Signs that a Betrayed Person can Trust the Partner Again

5 Signs that a Betrayed Person can Trust the Partner Again

By | Cheating, Commitment, Communication, Infidelity, Intimacy, Marital Problems, Marriage, Toxic Relationships | No Comments

Your partner cheated on you.  You discovered the affair.  You both have been working on the relationship and trying to heal.  However, you have been hurt in one of the most painful ways possible and it is difficult to let your guard down.  “What if he or she does it again?  Then I will REALLY feel like a fool!”   It makes sense to hold back trust.  It makes sense to be protective.  However, if that continues for a long time,…

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Alternatives to Infidelity - Healthy Ways to Regulate Your Emotions

Alternatives to Infidelity – Healthy Ways to Regulate Your Emotions

By | Commitment, Communication, Infidelity, Intimacy, Relationships | No Comments

In my last blog, I talked about another way to think about infidelity- Infidelity is a way to regulate our emotions.  Down regulating consists of managing hyperarousal, stress and anxiety. Up-regulating consists of arousing or enlivening ourselves when we feel bored or empty.  I would recommend reading that article before continuing to read this one if you have not read it already.  I am not saying that if you do what I write below- infidelity issues will cease; it is…

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Why People Cheat- Another Look at Infidelity

Why People Cheat- Another Look at Infidelity

By | Commitment, Communication, Family Relationships, Infidelity, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage | No Comments

As a professor and psychotherapist, I have learned some things about early childhood development.  Infants and young children do not have the brain apparatus to regulate their emotions so they utilize their caretaker’s brains basically to do the regulation.  For example, the attuned mother can calm an anxious baby with touch or food or changing a wet diaper.  This is called down-regulation meaning that the mother in these examples helps the child go from a more stressed, inflamed state to…

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Adult Children of Alcoholics

Adult Children of Alcoholics: 10 Keys to Go From Dysfunctional Family to Thriving

By | Adult Children of Alcoholics, Communication, Dysfunctional Family, Family Problems, Family Relationships, Family Therapy | No Comments

I am writing today about adults who grew up with one or more alcoholic parents. Growing up in a family like this means usually that you grew up in either some kind of chaos or neglect or both.  Since that was the family you grew up in, it may feel “normal’” and it may at first be hard to notice the effects.  However, here are just some of the possible effects of living in an alcoholic home: You are very…

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My Siblings and I Never Talk_7 Tips to Heal and Deal

My Siblings and I Never Talk: 7 Tips to Heal and Deal

By | Communication, Dysfunctional Family, Family Problems, Family Relationships, Toxic Relationships | No Comments

Is your family close? Do you have at least one sibling that you communicate with on a regular basis? If you do, that is wonderful because having good relations with your family can cushion you against the stresses of life as well as help you rejoice in the good times. Being with family members who celebrate holidays together, get together consistently and are there for emotional support has been shown to increase emotional and physical wellbeing. However, what if that…

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Male Sexual Confidence

Male Sexual Confidence: The # 1 Way Men Can Get It

By | Attraction, Communication, Long Hot Marriage, Masculinity, Sexy, Sexy Marriage | No Comments

What is confidence?  One definition is belief in one’s own abilities.  That is great in many areas of life.  However, there are also many areas of life where confidence is NOT just about abilities and the sexual arena is definitely one of those areas.  Why, because- good sex is not about just one person; it is about two people and sex with one person will be very different than sex with someone else.  That other person will have different desires…

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