Importance of Playfulness in Your Relationships

By | Commitment, Communication, Creating More Passion in Marriage, Great Sex, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage, Love, Marital Advice, Marriage Advice, Passion, Relationships, Romance, Sex, Sexy Marriage | No Comments

I want to talk to you about the importance of being playful in your intimate relationships Remember back when you began your courtship?  I’ll bet you were more playful, romantic and maybe a bit silly…am I right? Then you became committed and maybe got married, bought a house and/or had kids…right? At some point you became functional and lost the element of surprise and delight in your relationship. We all need to get back the playfulness in our relationships.  In…

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Letting Go of Guilt About Your Sexuality

Letting Go of Guilt About Your Sexuality, Learning to Trust Your Desire

By | Commitment, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage, Marital Advice, Passion, Relationships, Romance, Sex, Sexual Desire | No Comments

Believe it or not, we still live in a relatively Puritanical society.  It is a society that still contains many taboos about sex.  Going even beyond sex, many of us learned to distrust desires of all kinds if it did not fit the idea of what a parent, authority figure or even culture felt we should desire.  That could be about sex, about a career, about a passion for a hobby, etc.  So our deeper sexual desires and other pursuits…

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Five Keys to Restoring Trust After Infidelity

Five Keys to Restoring Trust After Infidelity

By | Commitment, Communication, Infidelity, Marital Advice, Marriage Advice, Relationships, Sex | No Comments

1)   Get therapy with a reputable expert in infidelity and discover the factors (not excuses) that led to the affair so that alternative healthier solutions can be practiced. 2)   Look for behavioral change  (depending on whatever was discovered as to what was behind the secretive actions) in the relationship that lets you know that something different is truly happening and that there is reason to take a chance on your partner again. 3)   Whenever there is a “risky” situation such as…

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If You Want to Cheat, Just Tell Your Partner First!

If You Want to Cheat, Just Tell Your Partner First!

By | Commitment, Communication, Infidelity, Long Hot Marriage, Marital Problems, Marriage, Relationships, Sex | No Comments

A True Story Let me tell you about a couple who saw me for relationship issues but avoided the more damaging issue of infidelity.  This is their (abridged) story. They had their second child and the kids were less than 2 years apart.  The husband was frustrated with the lack of sex and intimacy.  She was exhausted a lot and the last thing on her mind was having sexual pleasure.  She just needed to get through another day.  They both…

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Infidelity is an Interpersonal Crime!

Infidelity is an Interpersonal Crime!

By | Commitment, Communication, Infidelity, Intimacy, Love, Marital Advice, Marital Problems, Marriage Advice, Marriage Problems, Relationships, Sex, Toxic Relationships | 3 Comments

One of the more common things I do is help couples who have experienced infidelity survive and even thrive.  As I have said before, the great majority of these couples are successful in treatment.  However, I am clear on one thing- cheating and all the secrecy and deception that goes with it steals from the betrayed partner.  It steals a very important right- the right to have information in order to make a good decision.  You cannot make a good…

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Communicating Your Kink With Your Partner

Communicating Your Kink With Your Partner

By | Commitment, Communication, Intimacy, Marriage Advice, Passion, Relationships, Romance, Sex, Successful Marriages | No Comments

Intimate partners often have unspoken rules of what can be expressed and what cannot be expressed. As author of the book, The Long Hot Marriage, I am passionate about helping long-term couples have alive and passionate relationships. One way to do that is to use the committed relationship to explore your “less conventional” sides of yourself, particularly your unconventional sexual desires. I am so thankful that this society is showing signs of opening up sexually and not being so quick…

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Hot Monogamy- 3 Surefire Ways to Spark Your Relationship

Hot Monogamy – 3 Surefire Ways to Spark Your Relationship

By | Commitment, Creating More Passion in Marriage, Family Relationships, Great Sex, Long Hot Marriage, Marital Advice, Marriage Advice, Passion, Relationships, Romance, Sexy | No Comments

When I wrote my book, “The Long Hot Marriage,” my brother exclaimed- “Oh, you wrote a fairy tale!”  It was a funny line but let me tell you something- The Long Hot Marriage is no fairy tale!  Hot monogamy is a reality and here are 3 ways to make sure you experience this wonderful gift of a long, passionate relationship: 1)   Dare to leave your comfort zone often.  Your ancestors basically did not do this with their partners.  Take a…

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3 Ways Practicing Kindness Leads to Better Sex

3 Ways Practicing Kindness Leads to Better Sex

By | Commitment, Great Sex, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage, Love, Marital Advice, Marriage Advice, Passion, Relationships, Romance | No Comments

When you read the word “kind”, what sensations or feelings come up for you?  For me, there is a softening of my muscles, and ease in my body.  There is a slowing down of some sort.  For some people in our lives, it may be easy to practice kindness but unfortunately, it is often most difficult with our long-term partner.  It is easy to have automatic resentment or focus on where our partner is NOT meeting our needs.  Or we…

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