Creating the Long Hot Marriage

Creating the Long Hot Marriage: 10 Tips Your Parents Never Taught You

By | Commitment, Communication, Long Hot Marriage, Love, Marital Advice, Passion, Romance, Successful Marriages | No Comments

1) Your once hot marriage will probably cool off; that is normal and that is not really a problem. 2) Once your marriage cools off, there are most definitely things you can do to fan those embers and get it hot again. 3) Think about what you used to do that created passion in your relationship and do it again whether you feel like it or not. 4) Yes, in order for passion to be recreated, you need to do romantic and sexy gestures…

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Parenting and Romance

Parenting and Romance: Being Lovers When You Have Young Ones Around

By | Commitment, Communication, Love advice, Marital Advice, Relationships, Romance, Successful Marriages | No Comments

Many of my couples in my practice have babies and/or young children.  This is often when their sex life and romantic life wanes.  One or both parents are sleep deprived when the kids are very young.  As the kids get older but are still young, there is homework to help them with, extracurricular activities to get them to as well as all the other aspects of life that we need to take care of.  So when the heck can we…

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The Link Between Emotional Pain and Romance

I’m So Mad! Let’s Kiss!: The Link Between Emotional Pain and Romance

By | Commitment, Communication, Intimacy, Love advice, Marital Advice, Marriage Advice, Passion, Romance, Successful Marriages | No Comments

It is easy to be romantic in the beginning of relationships where our focus is on the pleasure and the positives.  But when the relationship continues, we get annoyed, hurt, frustrated and angry with our partner at times.  And we are supposed to be romantic anyway? Yes – pain is inevitable and pain is not the block to romance.  The block to romance happens when we let the pain disconnect us.  Our role models (mainly parents and grandparents) were not…

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Diffuse Conflict Quickly

Diffuse Conflict Quickly

By | Commitment, Conflict Resolution, Family Relationships, Harmony, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage, Love, Marital Advice, Marriage Advice, Peace, Relationships | No Comments

A Powerful Tool to Go From Conflict to Peace I want to discuss with you one of the most powerful tools I know that can de-escalate conflict.  This tool can be used with your intimate partner as well as in any relationship.  It is particularly useful at this time of the year when underlying conflicts seem to come to the surface.  (I am already seeing it in the phone calls I am getting since last week and continuing this week)….

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My 3 best tips for Increasing Eroticism in Your Intimate Relationship

My 3 best tips (at least for now) for Increasing Eroticism in Your Intimate Relationship

By | Commitment, Eroticism, Great Sex, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage, Love, Marital Advice, Passion, Relationships, Romance, Sensuality, Sex, Sexual Desire, Sexy Marriage, Successful Marriages | No Comments

1. Think about sex more even if you usually don’t.  Spend a minute or less every hour of your workday  (or time when you and your partner are apart) thinking of what you can do with him or what he can do for you.   (That’s all it takes). Imagine your sexiest self- what are you wearing, what are you saying, what are you doing?  Remember- your brain is your sex organ- Use it! 2. Take your focus off having an orgasm….

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Importance of Playfulness in Your Relationships

By | Commitment, Communication, Creating More Passion in Marriage, Great Sex, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage, Love, Marital Advice, Marriage Advice, Passion, Relationships, Romance, Sex, Sexy Marriage | No Comments

I want to talk to you about the importance of being playful in your intimate relationships Remember back when you began your courtship?  I’ll bet you were more playful, romantic and maybe a bit silly…am I right? Then you became committed and maybe got married, bought a house and/or had kids…right? At some point you became functional and lost the element of surprise and delight in your relationship. We all need to get back the playfulness in our relationships.  In…

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Letting Go of Guilt About Your Sexuality

Letting Go of Guilt About Your Sexuality, Learning to Trust Your Desire

By | Commitment, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage, Marital Advice, Passion, Relationships, Romance, Sex, Sexual Desire | No Comments

Believe it or not, we still live in a relatively Puritanical society.  It is a society that still contains many taboos about sex.  Going even beyond sex, many of us learned to distrust desires of all kinds if it did not fit the idea of what a parent, authority figure or even culture felt we should desire.  That could be about sex, about a career, about a passion for a hobby, etc.  So our deeper sexual desires and other pursuits…

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Five Keys to Restoring Trust After Infidelity

Five Keys to Restoring Trust After Infidelity

By | Commitment, Communication, Infidelity, Marital Advice, Marriage Advice, Relationships, Sex | No Comments

1)   Get therapy with a reputable expert in infidelity and discover the factors (not excuses) that led to the affair so that alternative healthier solutions can be practiced. 2)   Look for behavioral change  (depending on whatever was discovered as to what was behind the secretive actions) in the relationship that lets you know that something different is truly happening and that there is reason to take a chance on your partner again. 3)   Whenever there is a “risky” situation such as…

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If You Want to Cheat, Just Tell Your Partner First!

If You Want to Cheat, Just Tell Your Partner First!

By | Commitment, Communication, Infidelity, Long Hot Marriage, Marital Problems, Marriage, Relationships, Sex | No Comments

A True Story Let me tell you about a couple who saw me for relationship issues but avoided the more damaging issue of infidelity.  This is their (abridged) story. They had their second child and the kids were less than 2 years apart.  The husband was frustrated with the lack of sex and intimacy.  She was exhausted a lot and the last thing on her mind was having sexual pleasure.  She just needed to get through another day.  They both…

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Infidelity is an Interpersonal Crime!

Infidelity is an Interpersonal Crime!

By | Commitment, Communication, Infidelity, Intimacy, Love, Marital Advice, Marital Problems, Marriage Advice, Marriage Problems, Relationships, Sex, Toxic Relationships | 3 Comments

One of the more common things I do is help couples who have experienced infidelity survive and even thrive.  As I have said before, the great majority of these couples are successful in treatment.  However, I am clear on one thing- cheating and all the secrecy and deception that goes with it steals from the betrayed partner.  It steals a very important right- the right to have information in order to make a good decision.  You cannot make a good…

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