Five Keys to Restoring Trust After Infidelity

Five Keys to Restoring Trust After Infidelity

By | Betrayal, Cheating, Commitment, Communication, Creating More Passion in Marriage, Fidelity, Healing, Infidelity, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage, Marital Advice, Marriage Advice, Relationships, Sex | No Comments

1)   Get therapy with a reputable expert in infidelity and discover the factors (not excuses) that led to the affair so that alternative healthier solutions can be practiced. 2)   Look for behavioral change  (depending on whatever was discovered as to what was behind the secretive actions) in the relationship that lets you know that something different is truly happening and that there is reason to take a chance on your partner again. 3)   Whenever there is a “risky” situation such as…

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If You Want to Cheat, Just Tell Your Partner First!

If You Want to Cheat, Just Tell Your Partner First!

By | Cheating, Commitment, Communication, Counseling, Fidelity, Infidelity, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage, Marital Problems, Marriage, Relationships | No Comments

A True Story Let me tell you about a couple who saw me for relationship issues but avoided the more damaging issue of infidelity.  This is their (abridged) story. They had their second child and the kids were less than 2 years apart.  The husband was frustrated with the lack of sex and intimacy.  She was exhausted a lot and the last thing on her mind was having sexual pleasure.  She just needed to get through another day.  They both…

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Infidelity is an Interpersonal Crime!

Infidelity is an Interpersonal Crime!

By | Cheating, Commitment, Communication, Emotional Infidelity, Infidelity, Intimacy, Love, Marital Advice, Marital Problems, Marriage Advice, Marriage Problems, Relationships, Sex, Toxic Relationships | 3 Comments

One of the more common things I do is help couples who have experienced infidelity survive and even thrive.  As I have said before, the great majority of these couples are successful in treatment.  However, I am clear on one thing- cheating and all the secrecy and deception that goes with it steals from the betrayed partner.  It steals a very important right- the right to have information in order to make a good decision.  You cannot make a good…

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Your Face Reminds Me of My Mother

Your Face Reminds Me of My Mother and other compliments

By | Communication, Intimacy, John Gottman, Long Hot Marriage, Love, Love advice, Marital Advice, marital research, Marriage, Passion, Relationships, Romance, Sexy Marriage | No Comments

Compliments like what is in the title of this article may not exactly be what your partner would want to hear, especially if it is the wife saying it to her husband. However, I wanted you to read this important information that is instrumental to a happy intimate relationship, so I wanted to get your attention. John and Julie Gottman, wonderful marriage researchers and therapists have studied couples for over 3 decades and have come up with a number of…

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32 Years and Still Sexy as Ever

By | Anniversary, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage, Love, Marital Advice, Monogamy, Passion, Romance, Sexy Marriage, Successful Marriages | One Comment

This past August 12th was our 32nd wedding anniversary.  Cherie and I have been playing, loving, parenting, fighting and making up for all these years (Well- parenting together for 23 of those years).  Our relationship has had its challenges as all close relationships do.  We are very different in some significant ways.   Our parenting styles were different; I am a dreamer and have been a risk taker as an entrepreneur while my wife preferred more stability and structure.  And of…

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Communicating Your Kink With Your Partner

Communicating Your Kink With Your Partner

By | Commitment, Communication, Intimacy, Lust, Marriage Advice, Monogamy, Passion, Relationships, Romance, Sex, Successful Marriages | No Comments

Intimate partners often have unspoken rules of what can be expressed and what cannot be expressed. As author of the book, The Long Hot Marriage, I am passionate about helping long-term couples have alive and passionate relationships. One way to do that is to use the committed relationship to explore your “less conventional” sides of yourself, particularly your unconventional sexual desires. I am so thankful that this society is showing signs of opening up sexually and not being so quick…

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[VIDEO] How Great Communication Leads to Great Sex

By | Communication, Creating More Passion in Marriage, Great Sex, Lust, Sex | No Comments

It's a fact...great communication leads to great sex. This is true for BOTH men and women. Being able to express yourself in your relationship is the biggest aphrodisiac of all. Watch this short video where I talk about how communicating with intensity correctly will jump-start the passion in your intimate relationship Not only do I give you tips on how to communicate with intensity... I share more proven communication tips that will have your partner looking at you in a...

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Communicating with Your Child About Sex

Communicating with Your Child About Sex

By | adolescents, Communication, Family Relationships, good parenting, Healthy Children, healthy parenting, sex educatiom, STD’s, teenagers, the sex talk | No Comments

This month I will be talking about communication and sex, and for the first blog, I want to write about how to communicate with your child about sex. Here are 5 tips for healthy communication with your child about sex. 1) Do it! That’s right; the biggest problem with parents is that they avoid the conversation. Of course that means you need to do an inventory of yourself and your own attitudes about sex and how sex was communicated to…

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What to Do About Premature Ejaculation

What to Do About Premature Ejaculation: Possibly Nothing?

By | Communication, Premature Ejaculation, Sex, Sexual Desire, Sexual Dysfunction, Sexual Problem, Sexual Trauma | No Comments

Premature ejaculation was described in medical books almost 100 years ago.   In the past, men who had this problem were considered weak or selfish.  This could not be further from the truth according to all the latest research.  Whereas the main past theories of what causes this issue were psychological, more recently, the research clearly points to more biological reasons.  For example, variances in central neurotransmission and serotonin receptor functioning are contributors to how long a person can delay ejaculation…

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When One Spouse Feels Like the Parent

When One Spouse Feels Like the Parent and the Other Feels Like the Child

By | Low sexual desire, Relationships, Sex, Sexual Desire, Sexual Dysfunction, Sexual Problem | No Comments

How It Affects Sexual Desire In just about every couple I help, there is a father/daughter or mother/child pattern that has manifested.  In other words, much of the time, one of the spouses feels more like a parent; a person who has to manage, restrict or compensate for the other person.  I hear these people say statements such as- “I feel like I have another child” “I think of everyone and he (or she) only thinks of him (or herself.”…

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