My Personal Family Story

My Personal Family Story

By | Family Problems, Family Relationships, family Roles, Family Therapy, Holidays | No Comments

My Personal Family Story Transforming Myself, Transforming My Family I was the people pleaser; the one who always tried to be nice.   My family was close.  I have an older brother, 14 years older and a younger sister 3 and a half years younger; all of the same biological parents.   I grew up and eventually got married in my mid 20’s.   Over the course of our marriage, my wife and I spend a lot of time with my...

Read More
happy couple free from dysfunctional family

Breaking the Shackles of a Dysfunctional Family

By | Dysfunctional Family, Family Problems, Family Relationships, family Roles, Love advice, Marital Advice | No Comments

How a Couple Rewrote their Stories to have a Thriving Relationship She came from a family where her father left when she was 5.   She was the oldest of three siblings.  Her mother was mostly in a state of overwhelm and she became the “responsible” child.  Her mother remarried and she grew close to him.  However, he passed away when she was 14 and it was devastating to her. She continued being in the role of the responsible child....

Read More
Harvey Weinstein

Harvey Weinstein- Sex Addict or Power Hungry Narcissist

By | Addiction, Relationships, Sexual abuse, Sexual Addiction | No Comments

Reportedly, Harvey Weinstein is off to sex rehab.   Maybe that is true or maybe he is on a vacation at some resort.  Whatever it is, there is something amiss here.   First, addict is a misleading word.   Many in my field have mixed feelings about that word.   It implies that he had no control.  It also implies that the center issue was around a lack of control over his sexual impulses.  I don’t believe that was the central…

Read More
Gratefulness Can Make you Healthy, Wealthy and Sexy

Gratefulness Can Make you Healthy, Wealthy and Sexy

By | Commitment, Gratitude, Healing, Intimacy, Long Hot Marriage, Marital Advice | No Comments

So, the number one self-healing thing I do is not healthy eating and not exercise.  It is practicing being grateful.  I even am practicing gratefulness right now as I sit having just watched my team; the LA Dodgers lose in the 7th game of a World Series.  Now that takes some doing!  Why is being grateful so important? Feeling grateful leads to your blood vessels dilating, your cortisol lowering, and your muscles relaxing.  A grateful person feels safe and a…

Read More
The bottom line on healing from infidelity

The Bottom Line when it Comes to Healing From Infidelity

By | Cheating, Commitment, Communication, Infidelity, Intimacy, Marital Problems, Marriage Advice, Relationships | No Comments

Infidelity It can tear at the very fabric of a relationship. I see couples devastated by this every day I am at my office.  And yet, I find that many of these couples find away to heal from the crisis and develop more evolved, more connected and more loving relationships than they had ever had before. I work with some of these couples on a weekly basis; others come for a weekend intensive.   However the couple decides to proceed with…

Read More
Opening Your Heart After Infidelity

Opening Your Heart After Infidelity

By | Cheating, Healing, Infidelity | No Comments

How To Trust Again When You’ve Been Betrayed When I write these articles, I know that every couple is unique.  There is not just one blueprint for healing, yet I know it is possible to begin opening your heart after infidelity has happened.  I do not work with couples in the exact same way, because partners have different childhoods, different wounding, different capacities to be resilient and different needs.  However here are some truths that I have found to be…

Read More
John Gray Books Interview Image

Todd’s interview with John Gray-the world’ s #1 bestselling author on relationships

By | John Gray, Love advice, Marital Advice, Marriage Advice, Relationships | No Comments

Live Interview with John Gray Books Best Selling Author Listen to Todd and John Gray chat about relationships, hormones and why you need to slow down and unplug. In this 60 minute interview with international best selling author and relationship expert, John Gray...Todd focuses on his newest book Beyond Mars and Venus. Watch the video and find out John's evolution of thinking about relationships and why he decided to write his latest book.  He also chats with Todd about the...

Read More
Breaking Free from the 5 Dysfunctional Roles

Breaking Free from the 5 Dysfunctional Roles

By | Dysfunctional Family, Family Relationships, family Roles, Relationships, Toxic Relationships | 3 Comments

Part 2 of the Dysfunctional Roles article Two weeks ago, I wrote an article describing 5 roles that people inherit when they come from dysfunctional families. Of course, you may personally come up with more roles; I just listed the ones I see that are most common. In this article, I copied and pasted the description of each role from the previous article and then underneath I describe ways you can break the chains of those roles to become more…

Read More
Dysfunctional Families

Dysfunctional Families: How To Deal with Scapegoating and Projection

By | Dysfunctional Family, Family Problems | No Comments

Scapegoating and projection are very common scenarios in dysfunctional families. Just what is scapegoating and projection? It happens when members of your family don't own their own stuff and project it on other family...maybe you!  You know the feeling...you get together for a big family gathering and you don't end up enjoying yourself because of someone in your family? In this video Todd covers the signs of scapegoating, a story of how scapegoating and projection affected him personally. Watch the...

Read More
Growing Up In a Dysfunctional Family

Growing Up In a Dysfunctional Family: 5 Possible Roles You May have Inherited

By | Dysfunctional Family, Family Problems, Family Relationships, Toxic Relationships | 2 Comments

In a dysfunctional family, one or more of the parents or siblings had some issues that they did not deal with in healthy ways.  Instead, the rest of the family had to adapt to survive and make sense of the family.  If you came from a dysfunctional family, then neither you nor any of your family members could escape this adaptation. This adaptation can be thought of as a role.  As you know from a job role, it is limited….

Read More