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empty nest

We have a whole range of feelings that we experience throughout our days as well as with our partner. However, there are three feelings I can think of that happy couples feel a lot.

The first one I will mention is courage. Actually courage is an essential feeling to get us to take the action necessary to create a happy, vibrant relationship. With courage, you try new things with your partner in and out of the bedroom. With courage, you reveal your inner world to your partner and are interested in your partner’s. This leads to the feelings of closeness and positive intensity that makes relationships come alive.

Secondly, there are feelings of security. Joy, pleasure, vulnerability and deep connection occurs in an atmosphere of safety and trust. Being faithful, having no secrets, making it safe to express feelings even painful ones and being cooperative “teammates” all contribute to feelings of security between the partners.

Lastly, there are feelings of excitement. When you utilize your courage in an atmosphere of security, it allows for ever-new experiences. You both plan out your life to have fun activities that you both look forward to. In addition, you can be spontaneous with each other as you have interactions that could be stimulating, humorous and pleasurable. There is an element of playfulness that keeps the relationship fresh as well as exciting.

If you are not experiencing these feelings on some consistent basis, this can almost always change. Typically it is the old patterns of thinking, speaking and behaving that block us from the interpersonal creativeness it takes to experience our courage, feelings of security and excitement. As many of you know, I have worked with couples that have had deep wounds such as infidelity. And yes, there are ways to heal and experience the positive emotions that I have discussed here even in these relationships. I have seen couples create relationships that allow for these positive feelings over and over again. So, look forward, be creative and make it happen!

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